


Hopes and fears

by laddyuna



Series: Waiting for the rain to stop [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst, Childhood Memories, Love, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:42:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 72,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7294429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laddyuna/pseuds/laddyuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to The importance of feeling needed.<br/>After the last events, Zell tries to return to a normal life in Winhill with Lulu but without his lover…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I decided to make a sequel for my first fanfic. I hope you would like it. I added other characters in this one. Don't hesitate to give me your opinion.  
> See you guys!

One year later.

Winhill was still the same little and peaceful village. People became more distrustful against the foreigners since Seifer’s departure. They didn’t trust anybody and refused new residents. Zell was the last one they had accepted. Everyone knew he was Seifer’s fiancé and saw the pain he felt with his absence. He adopted Lulu so they welcomed him and tried to comfort him. People came often at his workshop. It wasn’t just to be healed or to ask something, but also to talk with Zell. Everybody in the village missed Seifer. He had done so much for people here that nobody could forget him so easily. Lulu’s sadness and Zell’s despair recalled them the tall blond every time. But they felt safe to have Zell and Lulu with them.

 

The tattooed man was waiting for Lulu, just in front of the school. It was the end of the afternoon. Chickie, the little bird was on his shoulder, singing softly. It was getting cold when the kids finally went outside. Lulu saw Zell and ran toward him, jumping in his arms.

“Hi Zelly!”

“Hi sweetheart! How was school?”

“Boring…I hate math!”

 The little bird flew away and came to alight on Lulu’s head. “Hi Chickie!”

“Tweet…tweet…”

Zell smiled and grabbed her hand. “It’s okay, you’re in holidays tonight.”

They began to walk to their house slowly. Lulu was playing with her bird, running after him with joy when she stopped and asked to Zell:

“Are we gonna visit Ma, in Balamb?”

“Sure. I told her we’ll come tomorrow with the train.”

“Great! I miss her! I love her carrot cake! She promised to show me how she does it.”

“I’m sure she already did for you…”

“Yes. I love her. She’s so nice.”

Zell smiled. “She loves you too.”

They arrived after few minutes. Zell went to the kitchen to prepare the dinner. Lulu followed him.

“Zelly?”

“Yes?”

She seemed to be a little embarrassed. “Did you tell to Squally that we come to Balamb?”

Zell turned his back and opened the fridge. “No, I didn’t call him lately. But I’m sure Ma told him.”

She approached. “Are you still mad at him?”

The tattooed man made a pause before answering. “Yes…I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it.” He took some vegetables and potatoes. “I hate to be so selfish.”

“You’re not selfish Zelly…just sad and lonely.”

“I’m not lonely. You’re with me, angel.”

“Yes, but you miss Vivi…and he hates to see you so depressed…me too.”

“Did he tell you?”

“Yeah…he’s worried for you. He talks to me about you every time.”

Since Lulu was junctionned with Seifer, she could speak with him often. She didn’t summon him since the last time, when they fought against Ultimecia. She didn’t need it…and Seifer didn’t want to because it was hard for him.

“What did he say?”

She sighted and sat on a chair. “He said you’re too thin and you should take care of yourself better…”

Zell washed the vegetables and the potatoes. He was particularly pissed. “If he was so worried about me, he should had stayed with us, instead of running away like he did!”

Lulu looked at him, concerned. She could feel sadness and pain in his voice. She went closer and enrolled her little arms around his waist. Zell became ashamed.

“I’m sorry Lulu…I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I understand Zelly…but don’t be mad. Vivi suffers to be far away from us.”

“I’m not mad. I should have done the same thing in his place. I’m just upset. You know how I am: I always speak without thinking first…”

“I like Zelly’s sincerity.”

He smiled sadly. “Seifer used to say the same thing…”

“Zelly…”

He shook his head, swallowing his tears with difficulties. “Sorry…I’m okay.” He took her in his arms and kissed her forehead tenderly. “I’ve got you so everything will be all right.”

She kissed his cheek and put her head on his shoulder. “I love you Zelly…”

“I love you too.”

 

 

The next day, they took the first train for Balamb. It was a long journey but they were happy to visit Ma. Zell was a bit anxious because it was the first time he came back to his city. He avoided the orphanage gang and the Garden because he didn’t want to worry them. This place recalled him bad memories. Some of his aggressors came from the Bgu and he couldn’t forget or forgive. It was too painful for him.

They arrived after several hours. They left the train station and reached Ma’s house in the center of the town. Nobody recognized Zell because he wore a cap and sun glasses.

“Ma?”

Miss Dincht left the living room and welcomed them.

“Zell! Lulu! I’m so happy to see you. Come in!”

“Ma!” said Lulu, jumping in her strong arms.

“Hello sweetie! You’re beautiful! Let me see you properly!” she caressed her hair tenderly and kissed her cheek. “You grow up so fast!”

“Yes! I’m glad to see you!”

“Me too, honey. I made your favorite carrot cake, just for you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Wanna taste it?”

“Yes! Yes!”

Zell laughed and approached to kiss his mother. She held him in her arms. “How are you, Darling?”

“I’m fine, Ma. Just a bit tired with the train…”

“Wanna take a nap until dinner?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just gonna sit in the living room.”

“Sure. Go ahead. I’m gonna bring you some drinks and cakes.”

“Thanks.”

He let Lulu and his mother alone to go to the main room. The tv was on. He sat in the sofa and took off his shoes. He closed his eyes, yawning. He was exhausted. He fell asleep without realizing. When Ma and Lulu joined him, they didn’t want to wake him. They smiled and covered him with a blanket before returning in the kitchen.

 

 

Two days later.

Zell went in town with Lulu and Ma. His mother wanted to buy some fruits and vegetables. They walked into the streets and reached the open-air market when they saw Raijin and Fujin with their son.

“Hi guys! Long time no see, ya know?”

“Hey! Nice to see you! What are you doing in Balamb?” asked Zell.

“We left Timber yesterday. We wanted to go to Esthar but we missed the last train and the next one was in two days, so we went here to spend the time we had. The next departure is tomorrow so we stayed at the hotel.” Replied Fujin.

The little Seifer went closer and kissed Lulu on her cheek. The two kids were playing with Chickie and ran after each other. Their parents looked at them with tenderness when Fujin fixed Zell, concerned.

“What about you?” she asked.

“I promised to visit Ma so I waited for Lulu’s holidays. What are you gonna do in Esthar?”

“Quistis is pregnant. We’re gonna visit her and Laguna.”

“Yes, she told me.”

“Are you gonna go too?” asked Raijin.

“I don’t think so…” replied Zell, embarrassed.

The two friends and Zell’s mother became uncomfortable. Miss Dincht looked at Fujin and winked at her.

“Maybe Raijin could help me with my shopping? Why don’t you go for a walk with Fujin, Lulu and Seifer?” she proposed to Zell.

“Why not? Sounds good for you, guys?”

“Sure! See you later!” Raijin called his son. “Be nice with Lulu and Zell, okay Seif?”

The kid nodded and kissed his father before leaving with Lulu, Zell and his mother.

“Wanna drink something? This round’s on me.” Said Fujin.

“Okay.”

 

They went to a café and sat inside. The kids were playing near of them, in the children’s play area, but far enough to let their parents in privacy. They looked at them smiling. They ordered hot chocolate.

“So, how are you?” asked Fujin.

Zell held his cup in his hands, sighting. “I won’t lie to you…it’s harder every day.”

“I can see it in your eyes. You look tired and depressed.”

“Yes. Lulu helps me a lot. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have her by my side…”

“I understand what you can feel, Zell. I miss him too…each time I call my son, I remember him.”

The martial artist drank his chocolate and put the cup on the table again. “You know…sometimes I think I’m not good enough to take care of Lulu alone…I’m completely lost without him.”

“Zell…don’t say that. Lulu’s happy with you. She loves you.”

“She was happier when she lived with Seifer. He’s probably a better father than me…”

 Fujin grabbed Zell’s hands. “You’re wrong. She was happy with him because she didn’t know you at this time. Lulu loves you as much as she loves Seifer. She would have reacted the same way if it had been you…and you know it.”

“I guess…I want to give her love and joy but…”

“But you have the impression you can’t, don’t you?”

“Yes…why?”

Fujin smiled sadly. “Because you’re not happy, Zell. How could you give her happiness when you can’t even be happy yourself?”

“It’s selfish…”

“No, it’s love. She understands you because she feels the same. She misses Seifer too and even if you are here for her, she misses him…like you miss the one you love.”

Zell smiled. “You’re right, Fujin. Thanks. It did me good to talk with you. I feel better.”

“Good. If you need to talk, please call me, whenever you want. Got it?”

“AFFIRMATIVE!” said Zell, laughing.

Fujin rolled her eyes and kicked him gently in the leg. She was relieved to see him smiling again. She called his mother often to take some news about him and Lulu. She wanted to visit them in Winhill but she thought Zell wasn’t ready to talk about Seifer.

“So…are you gonna come to Esthar? Everyone misses you.”

Zell seemed to be hesitant. “I don’t really want to go…”

“Come with us. Squall and the others are gonna go too with the Garden the day after tomorrow.”

After a long time, he finally agreed. He couldn’t avoid everyone forever, plus he missed them. They were his friends. He didn’t want to give up on them because of his pain.

“Well…It’s been a while since I didn’t see them…it could be great to travel with you, guys.”

“Good! The train leaves at 8:00 a.m. We’ll waiting for you at the station.”

“Fine.”

 

 

The next day, Zell and Lulu joined Raijin, Fujin and Seifer at the station. He called Squall yesterday to tell him he would go to Esthar. The orphanage group was really glad that Zell finally decided to come. The road with the train was particularly long because they had to go into Fisherman’s horizon first to reach Esthar. But it was a good thing the three friends were together because the time passed more quickly…and they talked about a special person they cherished. They reminded each other old good times with Seifer, when they were in the Garden…

After several hours, they finally arrived in Esthar. The station went directly in the city. Salt lake was a dangerous area so the authorities decided to extend the rail until the town a long time ago. Kiros welcomed the three friends and their children. They went to the Presidential Palace where Laguna and Quistis were waiting for them.

“Hi guys!” said Laguna.

Quistis got up and went directly toward Lulu and Zell, kissing them tenderly. “Thanks for coming. I’m so happy to see you.”

“Me too Quistis. How are you?” asked Zell.

“Fine, fine…”

“How many months of pregnancy are you?”

“Two months. I’m a bit tired but it’s okay.”

“How did Squall react? He’s gonna have a little brother or sister in few months…” He asked looking at Laguna.

“Oh…he seems to be fine with it. Just a bit strange but you know how he is. He never tells what he really thinks…” replied Laguna.

“It’s a good thing that all of you came. Thank you.” Said Quistis, smiling to Raijin, Fujin, Seifer and Lulu.

“You should take some rest. The road had probably exhausted you…” concluded Laguna.


	2. Memories

Esthar was still scaring for Zell. After all, it was here that everything started and ended. It was here where Seifer began to change…and left. But it was here too that they killed Ultimecia. This threat had disappeared once and for all. In other time, people would had been relieved with Seifer’s departure, but now, they knew who he was, it was a different story. He tried to build a new life with his beloved but, in the end, he couldn’t grant his wish. He always wanted to be important for someone, and he did it. Lulu and Zell, Raijin and Fujin…he didn’t feel alone anymore with them but everything ended suddenly when he became this scaring creature…

The martial artist couldn’t stop thinking about this. All these painful memories hurt him. He knew he would suffer coming here but he missed his friends. Squall and the others should arrive the next day, so he enjoyed sharing some moments with Laguna and Quistis first. On the afternoon, after the lunch, Fujin and Zell let Lulu and Seifer take a nap. They joined Quistis and Raijin in Laguna’s office.

“The kids are already asleep?” asked Raijin when he saw his wife and Zell coming back.

“Yes. What are you doing?” demanded Fujin.

“Just talking…” replied Laguna.

Zell approached and sat. Quisits was looking at him, concerned.

“Zell? Is there something wrong?” said Quistis.

The martial artist crossed his arms. “No…I’m just wondering if Valentine still works here…”

“Yes. He took Geyser’s place in his laboratory. He’s an honest man. “ explained Laguna.

“What about Geyser? Is he still in jail?” asked Raijin.

“Yes. I abolished the death penalty when I became president, but thinking about this bloody bastard makes me want to reinstate it!” told Laguna, annoyed.

Zell fixed him. “Did he say anything during his questioning?”

“No. He never said a single word…”

“I see…” The tattooed man got up and walked toward the exit. “Do you think that I could see Valentine now?”

“Sure…”

“In privacy…please.” Added Zell.

Quistis stared at him and turned her attention to Fujin. The woman smiled and nodded to her. She understood that Zell needed to be alone. The blond smiled and agreed with her husband.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but if that’s what you want, it’s okay…” replied Laguna.

“Thanks. I’ll see you later, guys!”

Zell left the room. The group became anxious. Nobody wanted to hurt the martial artist. He was still sensitive, but it wasn’t a good thing to let him live in the past.

“We shouldn’t let him go alone…” said Quistis.

“Yes. It’s gonna recall him bad memories and I’m practically sure of what he’s gonna ask to Valentine…” added Laguna.

“He would be angry if you stop him.” Replied Fujin. She crosses her legs. “One year won’t be enough to forget Seifer for him…and to be honest, I’m not sure he would be able to forget one day. He just need more time to accept it.”

“But living in the past won’t change anything. It would hurt him more.” Insisted Quistis.

“You know how Zell is. He can’t support to see people worrying for him. The more you’re gonna worry, the more he’s gonna leave and push you away. I know you try to help but it doesn’t work with him.”

“What do you suggest Fujin? Asked Laguna.

“Let him manage his pain alone. He will come when he will be ready.”

Quistis sighted. “I think you’re right…”

 

Zell knocked at the door of the laboratory. He was a bit nervous but he had to talk with Valentine. It was the first time since Seifer mutated he would see him. He went inside and looked for the man. He was behind his desk, working on his computer.

“Mister Valentine?”

“Oh! Mister Dincht! I didn’t expect your visit. Come in.”He got up and held his hand.

“Do I disturb you?”

“Not at all, don’t worry. I didn’t know you were here. When did you arrive?”

“Yesterday afternoon. I came to visit Quistis and Laguna with my daughter. The others will come soon.”

“I see…what can I do for you?”

Zell scratched his head. “Did you continue your researches about…Seifer?”

Valentine looked down, hands on his pockets. “Yes…but there’s nothing I can do to reverse the mutation process, Mister Dincht…”

“I understand.”

Chad fixed him, concerned. “How is your daughter?”

“Hum?”

“Your daughter. Is she all right?”

“Oh, Lulu? Do you mean if she mutated or something?”

“Yes…you know, after all, she has the same kind of cells that Mister Almasy. It would be good if I could make her some analyses and…” But he didn’t have the time to finish what he was saying that Zell cut him in the middle of his sentence.

“Don’t even think about it!”

Valentine blinked. “I’m not gonna do something wrong, Mister…”

“I won’t let anybody touch her! Even if you’re honest, Mister Valentine, I don’t want to.” Said Zell firmly.

“Fine…my apologies.”

Zell felt embarrassed. He knew that the man didn’t have bad intentions but he couldn’t allow this. “I’m sorry if I was a bit rude with you…it’s just…I don’t wanna make the same mistakes with her. If something happens to her, I don’t know what I would do…”

“I understand. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

After a long silence, Valentine invited the martial artist to follow him. “You know…I kept the recordings of the sessions with Mister Almasy, when Geyser tried to “heal” him.”

“Really?”

“Yes. All his memories are recorded here, in my computer. Geyser erased some of them at this time because he didn’t want that we could see that he used to perform some experiences on Mister Almasy. But a friend of mine helped me to restore it.”

“Can I…see?”

“Yes…but for your own good, I think you shouldn’t. It’s gonna hurt you more…” warned Valentine.

Zell sighted. “I know…but I want to see it...I miss his face and his voice.”

“It’s understandable, Mister Dincht. I can make you a copy if you want.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Some of the files are mentioned with the word “erased”. There are the ones we restored.”

“Okay.”

After several minutes, Valentine gave to Zell an usb key. “You can use it in the library. Last door, on the fourth floor. There are some computers you can use. Come to see me if you need anything else.”

“Thank you.”

Zell left the laboratory and went to the fourth floor, with the elevator. He never came there, but since he was known here, he could go wherever he wanted in the Presidential Palace. When he reached the place, he found nobody there. He went directly to the computers and put the usb key in one of it. There was a big file named “Almasy’s case.” He opened it and saw different dated files. It corresponded to the sessions Seifer used to do with Geyser. There were several videos. Zell viewed each of it. Most of the time, it concerned Seifer when he was under Ultimecia’s control: when he was raped and abused, when he was fighting against the orphanage group…It was hard for Zell to see it, so he stopped the videos when he couldn’t endure it. He became disgusted sometimes because the sorceress used to torture him with cruelty and he didn’t see some of these scenes.

He opened another file with the mention “erased”. _There was a little boy on the screen. He was tied on a table, with other persons in the same room. Scientists were examining him intensely and began to inject him and to the others some substances with syringes. The little Seifer started to breathe with difficulties when the others collapsed._

_Another scene switched: The same little boy was shouting and crying, still tied. He seemed to feel really bad but the scientists continued to perform experiences on him. There were two persons with him._

_“We should stop, Professor…the kid feels really bad.” Said a woman._

_“Don’t stop. He can endure it. Don’t worry.” Replied the man._

_“But…”_

_“Didn’t you hear what I said, Miss? I know what I’m doing.” He repeated, annoyed._

_The woman looked down and nodded. “Yes, professor…”_

_She gave him another syringe when the poor kid began to vomit with disgust. He was shaking and broke his voice, shouting desperately. The professor went closer and finally agreed to stop._

_“I guess you’re right after all…We’ll continue tomorrow.”_

_“Yes, professor.”_

_She untied the child and carried him into another room. The little Seifer collapsed, exhausted. His face was particularly red and he was sweating. His body temperature seemed to be abnormally high. Another woman took care of him._

Zell squeezed his fists to contain his anger. How could they do this to a little boy? He was so fragile, so innocent…They didn’t see their guinea pigs like humans…but just like some dregs of society.

_He opened another file and saw the same little boy but with another teenager. She had long black hair with blue eyes, a long nose and thin pink lips. When he saw her face, she reminded him Lulu and he began to wonder if she was her mother._

_“Celes?”_

_“Yes Seifer?”_

_“Are you feeling better now? You collapsed earlier…”_

_She smiled and hugged the boy in her arms. They were lying down on the same bed. “Yes, thank you.”_

_She caressed Seifer’s hair tenderly and kissed his forehead. “Do you wanna eat something?”_

_“No…I’m not hungry.”_

_“Me neither…I’m just tired. Did you sleep when I was unconscious?”_

_“No…I was worried for you, so I waited you wake up.”_

_She stroked his cheek with kindness. “You’re so nice. Thank you…but now, you should sleep. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day…”_

_“Yes…can I stay in your bed with you?”_

_“Sure.” She covered themselves with the blanket and smiled to the kid. “Do you want I sing you something?”_

_“Yes. The Baby chocobo, please.”_

_“All right.” The teenager raised up a bit to lean on her elbow. She caressed Seifer’s hair, singing._

Zell looked at the two children with sadness. He never saw Lulu’s mother before and she seemed to be nice and kind. She never had the chance to know her beautiful daughter but she could be proud of her, and Zell knew that she was probably happy to know that Seifer adopted her when they met in Winhill. He used to be so close to her mother that Zell understood why he loved Lulu so much. She really looked like her mom…

Zell watched all Seifer’s memories when he opened the last ones. There was no memory about Ultimecia, the war, the past or the Garden, but just the times he spent with Zell and Lulu in Winhill: Lulu playing with Chickie, Seifer teasing Zell and kissing him, the little family at the beach during the summer, or the two lovers making love…

When the martial artist saw these scenes, he began to cry. He remembered what Squall said one day: “Good moments only exist to be regretted.” It was true. Happiness and love were wonderful feelings but when everything stopped, it was hard to accept. Zell had been loved by his friends; by his mother…he had been admired by some students in the Garden, but he never had been loved the way that Seifer loved him. During all this childhood and at the Garden, he wanted to be by his side. He wanted to be like him. He was his model, but at this time, he didn’t see Seifer in this way. It was Lulu who made him realize what he really felt for him. One year already passed and he practically forgot how it felt to be touched, to be kissed by Seifer. He missed his presence, his voice, his scent, his body…every part of him. But Zell didn’t want to forget. He wanted to keep every feeling, every sensation he felt with his lover in his mind forever, even if it hurt to know that he couldn’t relive it again anymore. He didn’t want to forget…

He grabbed with his hand their rings he wore with a chain, on his neck and wiped his tears. He was about to turn off the computer when he saw a last file named “incomplete and partially erased memory”. He frowned and decided to open it.

_The pictures were blurry, but the tattooed man could hear gun shots and shouts. There was a car…and the scene seemed to be in a white desert._

_“Get them!!”_

_“Check the car!”_

 The pictures vanished. It was strange because Zell was sure that he knew the place, but he couldn’t see properly since the pictures were blurry and partially erased.

“What is this?” he asked to himself.


	3. How everything started

Squall and the rest of the orphanage gang arrived the next day in Esthar. Only Edea and Cid were missing. They promised they would visit Quistis and Laguna later. They planned to go to the orphanage. Some of the children there had reached the age to be sent in different Gardens, so the Kramer wanted to talk about their future with their instructors. Xu had been nominated as the headmaster temporally.

 It was already a whole year since the entire group hadn’t been reunited. Selphie and Irvine were still together. After what happened to Zell in the cavern, they returned in Trabia Garden to investigate. They didn’t say what Zell’s aggressors really did to him, but people and the headmaster in Trabia Garden knew some of students kidnapped and had planned to kill the martial artist, so they helped Selphie and Irvine to find the guilty persons. Squall did the same thing with Cid in Balamb Garden. It was a difficult and painful investigation for them but they wanted to avenge Zell. All the group knew that the martial artist had been traumatized by what happened to him this day and he never talked about it to anyone. They were worried because behind his strength, Zell was fragile and had some difficulties to control his emotions. Nobody wanted to push him too hard but they missed Zell’s joy, his enthusiast…with the time, their friend became depressed and lost his smile. It wasn’t just Seifer’s absence which made him suffer, but everything. He couldn’t trust anyone; he was afraid of everything and lost his confidence. Squall and the others tried to help him the best way they could…but it wasn’t easy.

After the dinner, Linoa, Fujin and Zell put the kids to bed. Zack, Seifer and Lulu had played all the day and were exhausted. Zell was happy that Lulu could see her friends. But in fact, he couldn’t stop thinking about the pictures he viewed yesterday. He didn’t have the time to talk with Valentine since the others arrived. He was walking in the corridor, thinking when he heard someone calling his name.

“Zell?”

“Oh! Squall. Something’s wrong?”

“No…I was just looking for you.”

“I’m here. I planned to join you, guys. Where are the others?”

“In the main room, with Quistis and Laguna.”

“Fine…”

Squall walked with Zell, keeping silent. The martial artist noticed that his friend wasn’t at ease. He knew he wanted to talk in privacy with him.

“So, how are you, Zell?”

“I’m okay. It’s good to be with you and the others.”

“Yeah…long time no see.”

Zell stopped in the middle of the corridor. “Squall…I’d like to apologize for the last time.”

“Huh?”

“Yes…when you came to Winhill with Quistis. I didn’t welcome you very well. I was pretty rude with you, and…I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I understand.”

Zell smiled. “I didn’t think what I said when I told you I was mad at you. I know it wasn’t your fault and you couldn’t know what would happen. You’re my best friend and I care about you and the others.”

“We know, Zell…it’s hard for us to see you suffering. I wished I could give you support.”

“You did…and I appreciate your concern. All of you. It’s just…too hard to turn the page like this…”

“It’s understandable.” Squall laughed. “You know…your relation with Seifer isn’t different that mine with Linoa.”

“What do you mean?”

 “I mean, at the beginning, I just couldn’t support her. She was pissing me all the time with her attitude. She always tried to change me…but on the same time, she was fascinating me. It was the same thing for you and Seifer. You hated each other but in fact, you admired him and he cared about you. In the end, you fell in love.”

“I’ve never seen things like that but you’re right.” Zell smiled. “Our story just ended differently.”

“Yes…”

Zell turned his back and walked again. “Let’s join the others.”

“All right.”

The group stayed all the night together, talking about their children, the Garden, Matron and everything. They were teasing Irvine about the date of their wedding, which was annoying him a lot. He loved Selphie sincerely and she was the one for him, but he was a bit afraid about the marital life. Zell smiled sadly, thinking about Seifer. He wanted so badly to marry him but he didn’t had the time to become his husband. He tried to fake he was fine, but Fujin and Quistis noticed his sadness. Later in the night, everyone returned to their bedrooms to sleep.

 

When Zell woke up, Lulu was still sleeping in his arms. She left her bed on the night and joined him. She probably felt that Zell was depressed so she wanted to comfort him as always. He smiled and caressed her hair tenderly when he saw her. He waited she woke up, looking at her with kindness.

“Hi Zelly.”

“Morning sweetie. Did you sleep well? “

“Yes…what about you?”

“Me too. Wanna join the others for breakfast?”

“Sure…”

After taking a shower, they left the bedroom and went to the main room. Quistis and Laguna were already there with Squall, Linoa, Zack, Fujin, Raijin and Seifer. Selphie and Irvine were still sleeping.

“Hi guys!”

“Zell, Lulu! How are you today?” demanded Quistis.

“Fine, fine…”

 

Later in the morning, Selphie and Irvine joined them. The little brunette proposed to go in the city, to the commercial center. Linoa, Irvine, Raijin and Fujin agreed. Lulu, Zack and Seifer went with them. Zell said he was a bit tired but in fact, he had other plans. He wanted to visit Valentine in his laboratory to talk with him about this strange file. He pretended to take a nap in the afternoon and left the others. He went out of his bedroom, thinking that nobody was looking at him. Squall and Quistis noticed him and frowned, surprised. They didn’t want to spy him but they were worried so they decided to follow him discreetly.

Zell knocked at the door of the laboratory and entered.

“Hi Mister Valentine.”

“Oh! Mister Dincht. Can I help you?”

“Yes…I wanted to show you something.” He took the usb key in his pocket. On the same time, Quistis and Squall entered. Zell shivered, surprised. “Guys! You scared me! What are you doing here?”

“We saw you in the corridor and…” began to say Squall when he noticed Zell became pissed.

“Do you spy me now?”

“No, no…it’s not what you think…” justified Squall.

“So why did you follow me?”

“Stop overreacting whenever we try to talk with you, Zell! We’re worried for you!” said Quistis annoyed.

“I’m not a kid!”

“But you’re acting like a kid! I’m tired to argue with you every time I speak!” insisted the blond, firmly.

Zell looked down, ashamed. He knew she was right and he had enough to argue with them too. There was a time when he couldn’t hide anything to them…

“I’m sorry…you’re right, Quistis.”

She approached. “Zell…talk to us, please. Why did you come here again?”

He looked at her in the eyes. “All right…let me explain you.”

Valentine invited them to follow him. They sat around a table.

“I came yesterday to talk with Mister Valentine about Seifer…and he gave me the recordings of the sessions he did with Geyser. I viewed all the videos and I saw a strange file named “incomplete and partially erased memory”. When I viewed it, pictures were blurred. I only could hear gun shots and shouts. There was also a car in a white place…I came today to ask to Mister Valentine what it was…”

Chad crossed his arms. “I see…I should have explained to you yesterday.” He looked at Squall and Quistis. He told them he restored the videos that Geyser erased. “You know…My friend helped me to restore this file. I viewed it several times too but I couldn’t clear the pictures. I think it was like this even before Geyser erased it.”

“What do you mean? And why did he erase it if it was already damaged?” asked Squall.

“Geyser probably wanted to prevent any risk to be discovered…” guessed Valentine.

“But…why the video is damaged?” demanded Zell.

“I think it was a memory that Mister Almasy had partially forgotten. After all what he endured, his brain was probably injured and he forgot some events of his life…” suggested Chad.

“Can we see it?” asked Quistis.

“Sure.”

Valentine took the key and introduced it in his computer. He chose the file and played the video. Squall, Quistis and Zell fixed the screen intensely, trying to discern something but the scene was quick and blurry.

“That’s all?” demanded Squall.

“Yes…as I told you, I’ve tried to restore it but…”

Zell kept silent, thinking. He played again and again the video without saying a word. Valentine fixed him with a sad expression.

“This scene is incomplete Mister Dincht. I don’t wanna discourage you but you’ll find nothing…”

 “I know this place.”

“What?” blinked Squall.

“I know this place. We already came there…” repeated Zell.

“Where is it?” asked Quistis.

“I don’t know but I’m sure we’ve come there…” Zell played again the video. “Can we make a zoom here, please?”

“Sure…” said Valentine. He made the manipulation. “Did you see something special?”

“Enlarge this zone again, please.” Said Zell.

The picture was still blurred but they could discern something small. Valentine fixed the screen closer.

“I noticed this thing before but I couldn’t guess what it was…”

“It seems to be…a card.”

“A card? I thought about it when I noticed this thing but…”

“Yes. On the left, we can guess the beginning of a photo and…” Zell enlarged again the picture. “Don’t you see a seal?”

“Let me take a look.” Valentine observed the scene. “Maybe…but we can’t see clearly…”

“Do you have a pen please?”

The professor moved away. “Sure…” He held him a paper and a black pen.

Zell began to trace some lines on the paper and drew something. “I’m not sure about this…but it’s what I’m seeing…what about you?”

Squall borrowed him the pen and drew something completely different. “It looks like this for me…”

Quistis and Valentine did the same. Each of them had seen different things. Valentine shook his head.

“It’s what I told you…it’s not clear enough to discern anything.” He made a pause and looked at the paper, fixing what they had drawn. “But your motif reminds me something Mister Leonhart…”

“What?”

“Wait a minute…” he moved and took some documents with him. “I worked recently on another program and I made some researches in the archives. I already saw the seal you drew…” he checked all his papers. “I’ve got it!”

He approached and showed them the document. “Look! It’s pretty similar, don’t you think?”

The three friends fixed the seal, on the top of the document. The seal had a mention: “SRP.JAD”.

“What is “SRP.JAD”?” asked Zell.

“Scientific Research Program of Junction Abilities Department.”  Replied Valentine. “It was a group of scientists who worked on magic spells and junction abilities. We still use their researches to create some items and new magic spells…” He made a pause, embarrassed. “Doctor Geyser created it a long time ago. He reunited the best scientists in this program.”

 “But…it’s strange to see that in Seifer’s memory. We’re not even sure this is the same seal on the video…” said Squall.

“Is it the same group who performed experiences on him and other people on the “Project A”?” demanded Zell.

“No. The SRP.JAD had been dissolved before the Project A. Some of the scientists quitted…”

“Do you have the list of the scientists of this department?” demanded Zell.

“Definitely…I’m gonna check in the archives.” He tapped on his computer keyboard and opened the database. “To be honest with you, I don’t know them…It’s a shame because I use their researches…” he said laughing. “Here.”

The three friends approached and looked the screen. There was a long list with several names, maybe fifty or one hundred, in alphabetic order.

“There’s a lot of people…but what are we looking for?” asked Quistis.

Zell kept silent and noticed something. He turned his attention on Valentine again. “Do you know how many they were exactly?”

Valentine frowned. “Hum…it’s written there Mister Dincht.”

“I see, but it seems that two names are missing. Take a look.”

It was true. The list mentioned eighty six names, but there were two lines empty.

“It’s probably a mistake in the layout.” Guessed Chad.

“But what if it’s not the case? I mean…Geyser lied in the past. He could have erased it without anyone noticing…” replied Zell.

“That’s a possibility…but I don’t know why he had done that…I think it’s just a problem with the layout.” Valentine looked the screen again. “We can ask to the Professor Moje, if you want. He’s on the list and I’m still in contact with him. He gives me advices sometimes. He retired several years ago but he lives in Esthar.”

“Can you give me his address please?”

“Sure.” Valentine wrote something on a page and held it to the martial artist. “If I can do anything else for you, please, come again.”

“Thanks for the time you accorded us.”

Zell, Squall and Quistis left the laboratory. 

“Are you gonna visit him now?” demanded Squall.

“I should call him first.”

“Yes. It’s better.” Agreed Quistis.

Zell called the Professor Moje on the afternoon. He accepted to meet him the next day in the morning. Since he was living in the center of the town, the group had proposed him to come at the Presidential Palace. Squall and Quistis had informed the others about what they discovered. 

* * *

 

The next morning, everyone was waiting for the professor, in Laguna’s office. The children were with Kiros and Ward. Zell was a bit impatient, as always.

“What do you think he will say?” asked Selphie, looking at Squall.

“I don’t know. Valentine gave us a copy of the list. I hope he’ll help us.”

“I wonder what he did when he was in the “JAD”…” added Irvine.

“Valentine told us he was an honest man…Geyser is a bastard but it doesn’t mean that all of his co-workers are like him.” said Laguna.

After one hour, a guard knocked at the door and announced the Professor. Everyone got up. The soldier left and returned with the man by his side.

“Professor Moje? Laguna Loire, nice to meet you.”

“Mister President.” Replied Moje, bowing. “Good Morning everyone.”

The man seemed to be kind. He was short and a little plump. He had brown and grey hair with blue eyes. He wore a pretty thick beard the same color as his hair, which covered his mouth. He had a long and thin nose with large nostrils. He was wearing a long black coat with a grey sweatshirt, black pants and brown moccasins.

“Take a seat please.” Proposed Laguna.

The man nodded and sat. “So? Who is Mister Dincht?”

“I’m Zell Dincht. Nice to meet you, Professor.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. I was a bit surprised when you called me but since you know Mister Valentine, it’s okay. So what can I do for you? You talked about the research program of the JAD, yesterday, don’t you?”

“Yes…” Zell gave him the list. “We checked the names of the scientists who worked on this program but it seems that two persons are missing…maybe It’s just a mistake in the layout but I want to be sure. If you can take a look and give us some details about your functions at this time, it would be nice of you.”

“Sure. Let me see the list…” he read quickly, putting his glasses in his nose. “Yes, you’re right: people are missing in the list…Mr and Mrs Almasy.”

Everyone blinked in shock. Zell opened his eyes widely and couldn’t even talk normally.

“What…what name did you say?”

The professor raised his eyes to fix the martial artist. “Yes, since it’s in alphabetic order, they should be at the top of the list.” He noticed Zell’s expression and added some precisions. “Marcus and Ely Almasy. We were pretty close together.”

“Are you sure of what you’re saying, Professor? I never saw this name in the database or in the archives before…”

Moje blinked. “With all my respect, Mister President, you can’t be serious! The Almasy worked on the most important part of the researches about junction abilities and magic spells!”

Laguna went to his desk. “Valentine? Come in my office, right now, please.” He ordered on the phone.

“You mean the Almasy worked with Geyser?” asked Squall.

“Yes…at least until…”

“Until What?” asked Zell.

Moje scratched his head, embarrassed. “You know…it’s an old story and I’m not sure I should tell you about this…”

“Why? What do you hide?” questioned Zell.

“What do you insinuate Mister Dincht? I’ve never done anything illegal!” replied Moje annoyed.

Valentine arrived at the same time. “Mister President?” He blinked when he saw Moje. “Professor?”

The old man turned around and smiled to him. “Chad! How are you, son?”

“Fine. Thank you…but what are you doing here?”

“Mister Dincht called me yesterday and asked me to come here.”

“Oh…I see. I gave him your address and your phone number…I hope it didn’t bother you…”

“Not at all…until now.” He replied glaring at Zell, pissed.

“Okay, okay…sit down please, Professor. I’m gonna explain you everything, but first of all, I need to know if you ever saw the name Almasy on the database or in the archives, Mister Valentine.”

“Hum…just in the project A, but…”

“No, I mean, Professor Moje told us that Mr and Mrs Almasy were working with him on the research program of the JAD. Could you check it this please?”

“Are you sure about this, Professor? I never saw this name before…”

“I know what I’m talking about. I worked with the Almasy during twelve years!”

“Check it please, Mister Valentine.” Insisted Laguna.

“All right…” he left the room, waving at the professor.

“Go on please, Professor. You told us the Almasy were working for Geyser until?” Said Quistis.

“Hum…you should ask to Doctor Geyser…” replied Moje.

“He’s in jail.” Told Laguna.

“What? In jail? Why?”

“Because he did illegal researches and killed several persons about twenty years ago with his experiences…and he did bad things to a special person for us…especially for Mister Dincht…so please tell us what you know.” Explained Laguna.

“Illegal researches you said?” blinked Moje. He sat heavily in his chair. “Hyne! He did it…”

Zell fixed him. “You know what he did to Seifer?”

“Seifer? Geyser did something to him?”

“You knew him?”

“Of course! He’s Marcus and Ely’s son! I met him when he was a child. I was there when he was born…but I didn’t see him since so long…”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“When he was two or three…but I read his name in the newspapers when he became the sorceress ‘knight…where is he now?”

Zell looked down sadly. Fujin approached and put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Irvine broke the silence:

“Tell us what you know. It’s important. We’ll explain you everything later, but please, tell us first.”

Moje looked at them and sighted. “All right…I worked with Marcus and Ely on the same department. It wasn’t easy at this time because of Adel’s reign. Anyway, when she had been sent in space, the Almasy have had a baby. He was their first and only child…but the kid was born with a congenital deformation.”

“What kind of deformation?” demanded Linoa.

“A rare disease which affected his immune system. He grew up and developed different deformations and other health problems. With the time, things got worse and his state had deteriorated considerably. He had undergone surgery and took medication, but nothing really worked. When he was two, doctors stopped treatments and said he was about to die. They couldn’t do anything else to save him. The disease destroyed his cells and was killing him slowly…they tried everything to heal him, but it was useless…”

“Hyne…” sighted Selphie. “So, what happened?”

“Ely became depressed and cried all the day…it was really hard for her and for her husband, you know? Marcus couldn’t accept it so…in desperation he tried something…”

“What?” asked Zell.

“Have you ever seen an adamantoise?” demanded suddenly Moje.

“Huh?” frowned everyone.

“Yes…it’s a creature who is living on the sea. It looks like a giant tortoise…”

“What about it?” said Raijin.

“Adamantoises have a regenerating immune system. They can heal themselves with special abilities.”

“Yes, I know the ability “white wind”. I used it as my Limit break.” said Quistis.

“So? What is the point with Seifer?” asked Zell.

“We had samples of adamantoise’s cells. We collected monsters’ cells for our researches…and Marcus thought that maybe if he could implant some of these cells on Seifer’s immune system, he could heal himself…”

The group blinked. “You mean…his father performed experiences on his own son?” demanded Linoa in shock.

“I told you…they were desperate. The child was in the final stage of his disease. He was about to die…it was his last chance to save their son.”

“What happened next?” asked Squall.

“It worked…with the time, the boy felt better. After few months, he was completely cured…you know, it was the first time we did this experience. The Almasy and I were the only ones on the confidence. We didn’t know how people would react…and we weren’t sure yet about the consequences on Seifer, but he seemed to be okay. He didn’t mutate and kept all his human cells intact, so we decided to talk about this to Geyser…but we opened the Pandora ’s Box.”

“What do you mean?”

“Geyser became obsessed by this idea. He wanted to experiment this process. At the beginning, we thought using these experiences on condemned and terminally ill patients. Since the medicine couldn’t do anything else, we thought we could use magic abilities to save lives…but Geyser had other plans.”

“The project A?” demanded Laguna.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. What is it?”

“It’s a secret project that Geyser started twenty years ago. He used homeless people as guinea pigs and made transplant cells on them. Several people died at this time…and Seifer was one of these guinea pigs. He was also the one who survived with another teenager.” Explained Quistis.

“Hyne! It can’t be true…”

“You never heard about this?” questioned Laguna.

“No! The last program I did with Geyser was another one on the consequences of the magic spells on humans. We wanted to know how humans could protect themselves from the side effects of the magic…but I quitted after The Almasy’s disappearance…”

“Disappearance?” frowned Zell.

“Yes. As I told you, Geyser had other plans but Marcus, Ely and I objected. Other scientists joined us and we blocked his project. But at this time, we didn’t have a stable government and we just ended the war with Galbadia…so he took advantage of the situation in Esthar to do what he wanted. Marcus and Ely were threatened and one day…they disappeared. I’ve tried to look for them but I found nothing. I quitted few days later and the research program of the JAD had been dissolved…”

The group stayed quiet. The professor seemed to be really affected to tell them this story. The Almasy weren’t just co-workers, they were also his friends.

“Do you have a clue about what happened to them? Seifer had been sent in an orphanage when he was four…” asked Zell.

“To be honest with you, I’m practically sure they had been killed. I was surprised when you told me that Geyser used Seifer like a guinea pig with his experiences…”

“So, you think Geyser asked someone to kill Seifer’s parents?” demanded Raijin.

“Definitely. You know, Marcus and Ely were honest and engaged scientists. They worked hard every day to advance the medicine and people’s life.” He smiled sadly. “They were idealist. They thought they could change the world…and they couldn’t accept Geyser’s actions without doing something…”

“What about you?”

“I…didn’t accept it either…but when I understood that the Almasy had been murdered, I didn’t want to end like them, so I said nothing…” he looked down. “I know…I’m a coward…but I had no proofs anyway. Nobody would have believed me. Geyser was so respected…”

“Do you have an idea who killed them?” said Irvine.

“There was a special and secret detachment in the Estharian army named “Osis”. If the Almasy had been killed, it’s definitely by them, but the group didn’t exist anymore. Plus the identity of the soldiers was secret. You won’t find their names in the database…”

“Who managed this group?” demanded Squall.

“Adel, the army chief of staff, senior military officers…Geyser probably convinced the authorities that the Almasy betrayed Esthar giving information to Galbadia.”

“Why Galbadia?”

“Esthar and Galbadia were in conflict a long time ago…and it’s still the case today. Marcus was thinking to talk about Geyser’s experiences and projects to the newspaper The Timber Maniac. He knew he was threatened with his wife and their son…” Moje sighted and got up. “I’d like to help you but I know nothing more…I’m sorry.”

“You already helped us a lot, Professor. Thank you.” Replied Laguna.

Zell faced him and held his hand. “I’m sorry Professor if I hurt you earlier…”

Moje shook his hand and smiled. “The Almasy were my friends. I couldn’t work anymore after they disappeared. I should have talked earlier but I don’t have any proofs about what I told you…”

“We’ll find proofs.”

The old man looked at the martial artist intensely. “You seem to care about them. Did you know them too?”

“No…I just know their son Seifer…”

“He’s your friend?”

“My lover.”

“Oh…” blushed Moje. “Do you live with him?”

Zell sighted, depressed. “I quitted my job to live with him and our daughter…but something happened to him and he left…”

“What happened?”

“He mutated. Geyser made other experiences on him and transplanted him G-forces’ cells…it’s a long story…”

“He…mutated?”

“Yes…he’s a G-force now. Valentine told me we couldn’t reverse the mutation process.” Zell took a large breath before giving him explanations about what happened to Seifer during the War, with Ultimecia, his past and the last events. He also told him how they recognized the seal on the screen and found his name on the list of SRP of the JAD.

“It’s unbelievable…poor boy…” said sadly Moje.

 “There’s nothing else you can tell us, Professor? “ asked Laguna.

“No. I’m sorry. I supposed if the Almasy planned to leave Esthar, they had to take the train to reach the nearest city…there’s no other way, except by the air, that we can leave the continent…”

Zell suddenly remembered. “Salt Lake.”

“What?” said Quistis.

“I told you I knew this place…in the video, the white desert…it’s Salt Lake! I’m sure about this. It was the train station between Esthar and Fisherman’s Horizon.” Repeated Zell.

“I guess you’re right. So, they probably had been killed there when they tried to escape…” sighted Moje.

“But what happened to Seifer at this time? There’re so many questions without answers…”

Selphie approached. “Okay guys! Don’t give up! We already went so far. There’s no way to stop now!”

“Yes. Selphie’s right. We’ll do it!” agreed Linoa.

“AFFIRMATIVE!” confirmed Fujin.

Zell smiled and felt relieved. His friends were with him. Even if it wouldn’t change anything, he wanted to discover Seifer’s past, to know his family and what happened to them.

“Thanks everyone!”


	4. Remorses and shame

The group stayed in Esthar all the week. After what they discovered, Laguna had ordered an investigation to find Osis’s members. But Moje was right: since this group was a secret detachment of the army, they didn’t exist officially…and Kiros couldn’t find any members. He tried with Ward to ask to some of soldiers and seniors military officers but they didn’t learn anything new about this.

Zell decided to go in the town with Lulu, Raijin, Fujin and their son. Selphie, Linoa and Zack joined them, but Squall stayed in the Presidential Palace with Irvine and Quistis. They were with Laguna in his office when Kiros interrupted and entered.

“Kiros. Come in.” said Laguna. “Something new?”

“Not really…I checked the identity and the carrier of the soldiers but I didn’t find anything interesting. “

“I see…” sighted Laguna.

“Why do we look for them anyway? We already know what happened to the Almasy.” Exclaimed Squall.

“We do it for Zell, Squall. It’s important for him.” Said Quistis.

“But it won’t change anything for Seifer.” Agreed Irvine.

“We know it, but I think his family deserves justice…and Seifer saved us from Ultimecia with Lulu. We owe him that.” Replied Laguna.

“Hum…you know, I thought we could call some of the soldiers who retired.” Suggested Kiros. “Since we don’t have any clue, it would be a good start.”

“Yes. Let’s do it.”

The next day, Kiros, Ward and Laguna met few soldiers. They didn’t talk about it with the others because they wanted to find something before. During all the morning, they questioned former soldiers but they said they weren’t Osis’ members. Some of them were probably lying but they couldn’t prove it. Laguna was exhausted and got up to open the window.

“How many soldiers should we meet today?”

“Hum…” Kiros read his documents, thinking. “About ten men…”

“Oh…” sighted Laguna.

“And it’s just for today!” laughed Kiros.

“Thanks for your encouragement, guys!” replied sarcastically Laguna. “Who’s the next one?”

“Ren Azuma, a former captain. He retired about ten years ago.”

“Ok. Let him come in.” asked Laguna to Ward.

 Azuma followed Ward and entered in the office. He was about sixty, maybe more, with a long and thin figure. His hair was white like his long bear. He had green eyes and some freckles on his large nose. He was wearing a black sweatshirt with battle-grey pants and brown shoes.

“Mister President.” Bowing the man.

“Good morning Captain Azuma. Thanks for coming. Sit down please.”

Azuma sat in front of the president and fixed him. He crossed his hands and waited without saying a word. He seemed to be calm.

“I won’t waste any time Captain. Do you know “Osis”?”

The man blinked in shock. He opened his mouth to ask why but he stayed silent. Laguna and Kiros noticed his embarrassment.

“Captain Azuma?” asked Kiros.

“Hum…excuse-me, Sir.” Said the man uncomfortable. “I’m sorry but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Laguna stood up. “You’re lying.”

“Huh?”

“We noticed your expression when we said the word “Osis”. You know something and I won’t let you leave until you tell me.”

 “I…I don’t know anything Mister President…”

“Were you one of them?”

“No…”

Laguna approached. “Did you hear what happened to the Almasy?”

Hearing this name, the man began to panic and looked down. He tried to calm down, staying cool but he couldn’t fake.

“I don’t know…” he repeated.

“TELL ME!” shouted Laguna.

But Azuma stayed silent. Kiros approached and grabbed Laguna’s arm to talk with him. They moved away.

“He won’t tell us anything if you yell at him.”

“He knows something!”

“Yes, but even if he did something, you know we can’t do anything against him because of the prescription. “

“Yes, but…”

“Let me do this, please.”

Laguna scratched his head and agreed. “Fine…”

They went closer and Kiros fixed Ren, crossing his arms against his chest. “Captain Azuma, we need to know. We’re not here to judge you. You were a soldier and did your job, following the orders. You risk nothing because of the prescription, whatever you’ve done.”

The man was still hesitant. He wanted to talk but it was as if something kept holding him back. He avoided eye-contact with the two men.

“Were you one of the “Osis”?” asked again Laguna.

Ren sighted, depressed. “Yes…”

“All right. Then, do you know something about what happened to the Almasy?” demanded Kiros.

Azuma fixed them, embarrassed. “Why do you ask me? You should talk with Geyser…I just followed the orders…”

“Geyser is in jail and he refused to talk. It’s a long story…” replied Laguna.

“Oh…” frowned Azuma.

“You don’t seem to be surprised about this.” Noticed Kiros.

“I always knew he would pay for his actions…at least, I hoped it.”

“What do you know about him?”

“It’s a secret for nobody in the town that he used to make some strange experiences on humans…I don’t really know about this, I just heard some gossips…”

“Then, what can you tell us about the Almasy?”

He hid his head with his hands. “Please…don’t force me to talk about this…”

“Do you take part to this?”

He nodded silently. He finally broke the silence. “I quitted Osis after that mission. Why do you ask me this now? After so many years?”

“Almasy’s name had been erased from the database. We didn’t know they were working here and we discovered their existence by chance. We want to know what happened to them.”

“I see…”

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

“Hi guys!” Zell was with Quistis and Squall. “Sorry. Do we disturb you?”

“Oh…no, no…come in, guys!” said Laguna confused.

Azuma got up and waved to them. Kiros introduced him. “Captain Ren Azuma. He retired several years ago. He was about to tell us something important, don’t you, Mister Azuma?”

The man nodded and looked down, before returning to his chair. Zell fixed him with interrogation. He followed them and sat with Laguna, Ward and Kiros, facing the old soldier.

“Captain Azuma admitted he was a former member of Osis. He was about to explain what happened to Seifer’s parents.”

“Really?” blinked Zell, fixing the man. “Tell us, please! What do you know?”

Azuma stayed quiet, avoiding eye-contact. He was ashamed and embarrassed. It was hard for him to talk in front of so many persons. Plus, he didn’t want to recall this part of his life.

“Mister Azuma, I told you there’s no charge against you…” insisted Kiros.

The man sighted. “I hoped that I'd never have to tell you this…I was a soldier, I was in the war, but I never thought I had to do some of these things when I joined Osis. I thought I was serving my country…bullshit!”

“What do you mean? Did you participate to what happened to the Almasy?” asked Quistis.

“Yes…” He took a large breath before continuing. “My superiors sent me with four other soldiers. Geyser notified the authorities that a couple was planning to reach Galbadia to give some information about Esthar. We thought they were traitors…” He made a pause, hiding his eyes with his hand. “We found their car in Salt Lake, about ten miles away from the train station…and we shot them…”

The group kept silent. Zell tried to contain his anger but it was hard for him. He squeezed his fists harder. Squall noticed it and put his hand on the martial artist’s lap to cool him.

“We shot the car during several minutes…and when we stopped, a man covered with blood went out of the car with difficulties. He received so many bullets that I was surprised that he could still move. He was bleeding but he found the strength to beg us to not kill his family…but we finished him. When he fell on the ground, we approached to look for the others in the car, and a woman ran away with her child in her arms. A soldier shot her in the legs and she fell with the kid. She was near of a ravine and the boy rolled on the ground because of the steep slope and fell. She yelled, calling her son in despair. She crawled…searching the kid desperately, but we moved closer and shot her in the head.” He looked down.

“What happened to the boy?”asked Squall.

“We began to look for him. We received orders to come back with the child, dead or alive. We split up to search for him, and after few hours, I saw a small figure, curled up, hiding behind the skeleton of a monster. He was bleeding and injured…I approached slowly and he noticed me. He was shaking but he fixed me…I still can remember his piercing and green eyes.” He stopped and shook his head sadly. “I pointed my gun toward him but he kept fixing me in the eyes and…I couldn’t shoot. I thought his parents were traitors but the kid didn’t do anything wrong…he was innocent…”

“So? What did you do?” demanded Quistis.

“I couldn’t kill him, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to bring him back to Esthar. I knew Geyser would do something to him. Everyone in the town knew that he used to perform experiences on young children…so I turned my back and I joined the others. I told them a monster ate the child and I couldn’t do anything else…they believed me. We made his parents’ corpses disappear and we returned to Esthar.”

“You left Seifer there alone? How could you? He was just a kid! How could you?” yelled Zell angry.

“I couldn’t do anything else for him…I hoped he could have survived alone there…it was a better fate than to return to Esthar…”

“But Seifer had been captured in the streets in Esthar!” exclaimed Laguna.

“Oh? Really?” frowned Azuma.

“Yes. Geyser performed experiences on him when he was three. How could he be in Esthar if you left him in Salt Lake?”

“Maybe he got lost and returned to Esthar accidentally? Nobody went there after us. We forbade the access…” said the man.

“DAMMIT!” Zell stood up and kicked his chair with foot. “Why did you never tell this before?”

“At the beginning…I was sad for the kid but I thought his parents betrayed Esthar…but clearing the car, I saw a letter that his father wrote for the Timber Maniac. He didn’t have the time to post it. I kept it with me and I never mentioned it to anyone…and when I read it, I realized they used us…”

“Who used you?”

“Authorities, Geyser…everyone. They used Osis to kill innocent people.”

“What was written in the letter?”

“I discovered they were scientists and they used to work for Geyser. They explained the experience they did on their son to save his life and they hoped to save other lives in the future…but Geyser used research programs for another plans. They wanted to stop him, revealing to the world what kind of “genius” the professor Geyser was. They never betrayed Esthar…they just wanted to protect their son and draw the attention to the world on Geyser’s actions…” he sighted. “I felt so guilty after what I’ve done that I decided to quit Osis…I returned to Salt Lake the next day to look for the boy but I didn’t find him. I thought he died…and I saw him several years later with the sorceress Edea…I understand why he attacked Esthar and Galbadia now…”

Zell moved closer. “Who betrayed the Almasy? Who told Geyser where they were?”

“I know Geyser received an anonymous call…that’s all.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“That’s what I heard. I’ve no proof but nobody knew that the Almasy planned to run away to Galbadia…You should ask to Geyser himself.”

“That’s we’re gonna do now.” Confirmed Laguna. “Do you still have the letter that you mentioned?”

“Yes…I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

The man nodded and got up. “It won’t change anything but…I want to tell you that…I’m sorry. I feel guilty since this day…”

“I can see it, Mister Azuma. You followed the orders and even if you had done nothing in person, other people would have done it…” replied Laguna. “Thanks for coming.”

The man bowed and left the room. Zell was on his back and refused to look at him. He was furious and couldn’t accept his excuses. Squall approached and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Zell sighted. “No…but now, I know what happened. It’s not over because I want to find the one who betrayed Seifer’s family.”

“We’re gonna talk to Geyser this afternoon. I suppose he won’t say anything but we have to try.” Said Laguna.

“I’m gonna ask to Linoa. She can call her father. Since he’s in the army, he probably knows something about this.”

“Thanks.” Smiled Zell. “I appreciate what you’re doing for me, guys!”

 

On the afternoon, Zell, Laguna, Kiros, Ward, Squall and Irvine were waiting for Geyser in a small room. They sat around the table. The President asked to bring him in the Palace for his questioning. The prison wasn’t far away from here. After half an hour, two guards entered in the room with the prisoner. He was tied with chains. Laguna ordered them to leave. They closed the door behind them but stayed in the corridor. Zell was fixing Geyser with hatred and anger. He just wanted to jump on him and strangle him until the death but he contained his rage.

“Zo? What do you want Mizter Prezident? Did my favorite zubject come back?” joked the former professor.

“You find this funny?” glared at him Laguna.

 “You have no zens of humor, my dear!” he laughed again. “I’m a bit curiouz to zee all of you here…”

“Is that you who erased the name “Almasy” in the Database?” asked Kiros.

“What?”

“We talked with the professor Moje. He told us about the Almasy, but we didn’t find their name in the archives.”

“I zee…how did you dizcover it?”

“We checked the list of SRP of the JAD. You erased their name but you forgot to change the layout so we investigated.”

“Oh…I zuppose even the bezt make miztakez zometimez…”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you Bastard!” commented Irvine.

Geyser shrugged and ignored his insult. “Zo? If you already know everything, what do you want?”

“Who told you the Almasy were going to leave Esthar?”

“Oh, I zee…you want juztice for them, don’t you Prezident?”

“Answer me!” yelled Laguna.

The doctor laughed and bit his lips, smirking. “Zomeone from Galbadia.”

Zell and the others blinked. “From Galbadia? Why?” demanded Laguna.

“Who was it?” Asked Squall.

“I won’t zay anything elze…why zhould I help you?”

“You’re lying! You try to manipulate us like you did before.” said Irvine.

“I’m not lying. Nobody knew that the Almazy planned to leave Ezthar…but you can believe whatever you want.”

“Who?” asked again Squall.

“I won’t tell you. Go to hell, all of you!”

Laguna gave a glance to Ward. The tall man stood up and grabbed Geyser’s collar with his large hand, raising his hand in the air.

“Wanna punch me? Go ahead, my dear! I could ztay at the infirmary inztead of my prizon cell.” Said Geyser laughing.

Laguna raised his hand to stop Ward. His friend let the doctor fall on the floor unceremoniously. “It’s useless. Let’s go.” Sighted the President.

Everyone got up and went to the exit, except Zell who walked slower than the others. When the group was about to leave the room, the martial artist grabbed Geyser by the collar and pinned him against the wall. He was strangling his throat with his hands. When Squall and the others noticed, they ran toward them to stop Zell.

“Zell! Stop it!” yelled Squall, trying with Irvine to separate them.

Zell fought and didn’t release the doctor. “Fucking bastard! It’s your fault! All this mess is your fucking fault!” shouted the martial artist in rage.

Irvine grabbed him by the waist and pulled him away from Geyser. “Zell! Calm down…it won’t change anything now…”

Zell released him and stopped fighting. He glared at the doctor and spat in his face with contempt. “He wouldn’t want I do that…this is the only reason why you’re still alive.”

He turned his back to leave but hit geyser with his foot a last time before joining the others. Nobody stopped him because they would have done the same thing at his place.

“Let’s see what we can learn about it, in Galbadia.” Proposed Irvine.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Zell and Lulu left Esthar with the train for Deling City. He took contact with a former assistant of the last president of Galbadia, Winzer Deling. He agreed to meet Zell and the group at the Galbadia Hotel. Squall and the rest of the orphanage gang joined the martial artist and his daughter with the Garden. Fujin and Raijin took the train with their son, Zell and Lulu but they went to Timber. They had to go back to work. They had a small shop in the center of the town, where they repaired weapons and sold items.

 Linoa called her father to ask him about the Almasy but he didn’t know anything about them. At this time, he was just a captain in the army. She went to her home with Zack and Squall. The rest of the group stayed in the Garden. Zell took a room in the Galbadia Hotel, waiting for his contact there.

The next day, Selphie and Irvine joined him in his room. Lulu was playing with her bird when they arrived.

“Hello guys!”

“Irvy! Selphy!” welcomed Lulu with a smile.

“Hi sweetie! How are you?” asked Irvine, caressing her hair.

“Fine! Liny called. She said she’s coming with Squally and Zack.”

“Good! I bought some chocolate for you. Wanna taste it?”

“Yes! Yes!” jumped the little girl excited. “Thank you Irvy!”

“Hey! It was my idea! Don’t take all the glory for yourself” complained Selphie, slapping Irvine on the arm

“Ouch!”

“Thank you Selphy!” apologized the kid smiling. “That’s yummy!!!”

Zell smiled and came closer. “Hi guys. How are you?”

“Fine. What about you?”

“I’m okay…I think. Just a bit nervous.”

Someone knocked at the door. Zell went to open.

“Hi everyone. Are we in late?” asked Squall.

“Not at all. Come in.”

Linoa and Squall entered in the bedroom with their son. They sat with the others. During this time, the kids were playing with the bird and ate chocolate.

“Shouldn't be long now, though…” said Zell looking at his watch when the phone rang. “Hello?”

 _“Mister Dincht? Mister Rufin asks about you.”_ Said de receptionist.

“Give him the number of my room. I’m waiting for him.”

_“Yes, Sir.”_

“Thank you.” He hung up. “He’s coming.” Told Zell to the others.

Few minutes later, the man knocked at the door. Zell opened and welcomed him: “Mister Rufin? Thanks for coming.”

The man held his hand and entered. “Mister Dincht I presume?”

“Yes. Come in please.”

Zell introduced him to the others and the group sat. The kids went to the other room to play together. The martial artist proposed a coffee to the man who accepted it.

“So? What can I do for you? You told me on the phone it was about something when I was working with Winzer Deling but you didn’t tell me more. But since you’re a friend of Laguna Loire, I suppose I can trust you.”

“Yes.” Replied Zell, putting his cup of coffee on the table. “Is the name “Almasy” remind you something?”

Rufin frowned. “Almasy? The sorceress’ knight?”

Zell bit his lips. He hated when people referred to that talking about Seifer, but he knew he had to stay calm. “Not him…I mean a couple of scientist from Esthar. They were his parents. They wanted to leave Esthar for Galbadia.”

“Oh…let me think about it…” he crossed his arms and blinked. “Yes! I remember now. A couple contacted our authorities to request political asylum. Deling agreed to welcome them because he thought they would give us some information about Esthar…but they probably changed their mind because they never came.”

“They had been killed before taking the train.” Explained Squall.

“Really?”

“Yes…we supposed you knew something about it because we heard that Esthar received a call from Galbadia to denounce the Almasy…”

“I’m sorry but I don’t know anything about it. I was in contact with them to give the point of view of the president but I didn’t plan their departure or their arrival. Commander Oro was in charge of this.”

“Commander Oro?”

“Yes. The commander of the army at this time. He didn’t really approve this decision because he thought they would bring us trouble with Esthar. The last war was just ended and we weren’t prepared to fight again. But Deling thought they could give us some secrets and information about Esthar or, on the worst case that we could use them as a bargaining chip.”

“Do you know where we could find the commander Oro, please?” demanded Zell.

“I’m sorry but he died about two years ago.”

Zell sighted disappointed. The man noticed it. “But you can talk with the Major Caraway. He was his subordinate at this time.”

Everyone blinked in shock. “Are you sure about this?” asked Linoa.

“Yes. I met him several times to talk about this couple. He was sharing the same point of view that his commander and tried to convince Deling to not accept them in our territory.”

Linoa fixed Zell, disoriented. “He lied to me. He said he didn’t know anything about it…”

“What’s wrong?” asked Rufin.

Zell got up. “We’re gonna visit the Major Caraway. Thanks for your time Mister Rufin.”

The man stood up and grabbed his coat. “Okay…I wish I helped you…”

“You did. Thank you sir.”

The man shook Zell’s hand and waved at the others before leaving. The martial artist turned his back and fixed Linoa. “Can we go to your home now?”

“Sure. My father should be there now…let’s go.” She agreed.

They got on the first bus and reached the Caraway’s Mansion. Zell stayed silent during the entire road. Lulu noticed something was wrong but she didn’t say anything. She just put her hand on her father’s lap to comfort him. He smiled and caressed her hair tenderly. He knew he could count on her whenever he needed. She was still there for him.

When they arrived, they went immediately in the office of the Major, without wasting any time. Lulu stayed with Zack on the other room.

“Linoa?” asked the Major Caraway surprised.

“You lied to me!”

“What?”

“You said you didn’t know anything about Seifer’s parents!”

“I told you the truth.”

“Bullshit Caraway! We talked with Rufin. He told us everything!” said Squall, angry.

The Major walked away and fixed the window. “Does it make any difference anyway? I didn’t want to argue with you because of this.”

Zell approached. “You called Geyser to denounce them, did you?”

He turned around to fix him. He kept silent without avoiding Zell’s eyes. The martial artist went closer and faced him with anger. “I know it’s you.”

“They only would have brought us problems…They were no great loss for Galbadia or for Esthar either…”

“How dare you…” Zell was about to punch him when Irvine grabbed his waist and stopped him.

“You know I’m right. The fact this mutant became your lover doesn’t change anything.” Replied coldly Caraway.

“FUCK YOU!!!!”

Squall helped Irvine to restrain Zell. Linoa approached, still in shock.

“How…how could you do that?”she asked.

“I’ve done what I had to do. I did it to protect Galbadia.”

“Ah! The same way you did for Timber, maybe?” replied sarcastically his daughter. “You knew who he was when we were going out…that’s why you asked Squall and the others to kill Edea. You thought they had to kill him too. I understand now why you helped the Garden on this mission! You risked your career and everything you had to see him dead and far away from me, don’t you?” she yelled, furious.

“Don’t you remember what he did to you? You defended him but he was the one who gave you to Adel!” replied Caraway.

“He became an orphan because of you! You let him fall into Geyser’s hands…Even Winzer Deling was agreed to welcome them. HOW COULD YOU?”

“Deling was an idiot. He underestimated the situation. If the Almasy had come here, Esthar would have declared us the war again. We lost every time we fought against them, and so many people would had died. I couldn’t allow this just to save a couple of traitors and their mutant son!”

Zell burst in rage and released himself from Squall and Irvine’s grip. He punched the Major in the face before being stopped again by his friends. Selphie joined them to help.

“I’ve no regret…whatever you can think about me. I did the right choice denouncing them.” concluded Caraway.

Zell stopped to fight and calmed down. “I used to think Linoa was rude with you…but I understand her now. It’s a good thing after all that your wife died a long time ago…you would have disgusted her if she had known the real bastard you are…”

“How dare you talking about my wife?” replied with hatred Caraway, facing the martial artist.

“It hurts, do you?” laughed with irony Zell. “If you weren’t Linoa’s father, I would have killed you right now…” he turned his back and left the place without saying another word.

The rest of the group followed him, Linoa too. She stopped when she was just in front of the door. “I will never forgive you…”

She left and closed the door behind her. It was the last time she came here.


	5. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new character in this chapter.

Zell left Deling City early in the morning with Lulu. He didn’t want to stay any longer in this city after had heard what said Linoa’s father. He was furious but there was nothing he could do. He had all the answers he looked for…and in the end, it hurt him a lot. Since his birth, Seifer didn’t have any chance. He could have been happy in Galbadia if only he could had escaped with his parents this day…how could he had survived alone in Salt Lake? He probably got lost and returned to Esthar involuntary, and he had been caught by soldiers for Geyser’s experiences. He never found peace, love or happiness until he met Lulu and…until he realized his feelings for Zell.

Zell was with his daughter in the train to return to Winhill. He was looking out, through the window when Lulu sat at his side and put her hand on his lap.

“Are you okay Zelly?”

He smiled at her. “Yes, sweetie. I suppose you’re exhausted with this road by train…”

“No, I’m fine. I like traveling. “ she came closer and sat on his lap. “I’m just worried for you because you seem disturbed, even more so than usual.”

He sighted. “You probably know everything since you can read my thoughts, don’t you?”

“Yes…but I also heard you arguing with Liny’s father.”

“Oh…I’m sorry you heard that.”       

“Don’t. I’m angry against him too. He hurt Vivi…and he hurt you.”

She approached closer, smiling. “You’re kind, Zelly…” she hugged him tenderly. “I love you the same way I love Vivi…so don’t think that again, please. You’re a good dad.”

He kept silent, stroking her back gently. He knew she was probably referring to his discussion with Fujin. She took his face with her small hands and fixed him in the eyes.

“I know you miss him…me either, so please, don’t force yourself. Don’t pretend…”

“Lu, I don’t want you think that I’m not happy with you! I would be completely lost if you weren’t by my side…”

“But you miss him, like I do. We’re not complete without him.”

“Yes…”

“But we gave him happiness, even if it was just for a short time. He’s not dead, Zelly, he’s just different…”

“I know…but I’d like to hear his voice, to see his face again…I’d like to give you a real family, my angel…”

 

There were the last words they exchanged together before the accident. The train suddenly hit something on the rail between Timber and Winhill before rolling onto the left side. Some of the wagons broke and crashed violently on the ground. People were shouting in pain. Most of them were severely injured. Fire started at the beginning of the first wagons. People began to go out of the broken train with difficulties, in a widespread panic.

Zell opened slowly his eyes. He was injured on his arm and his head. He blinked, trying to understand what happened but he looked for Lulu first.

“Lulu? Are you okay? Sweetie?”

He couldn’t see her properly. His vision was still blurred. He crawled on the floor.

“Lulu? Lulu? Sweetie! Where are you? Talk to me!!”

“Zelly?” whispered Lulu.

“Lu! You’re okay?” he reached her body. She was just knocked and shocked.

“Yes…what happened?”

“Dunno…we had an accident. Can you walk?”

“Yes…”

“Let’s get out of here…”

“Zelly! You’re bleeding!”

“It’s okay, sweetie…nothing serious. Let’s go.”

He took his daughter in his arms and began to search a way to go out when they heard someone calling help. They went to the shouts and saw a woman injured, blocked under heavy debris.

“Help me! My son…” begged the woman.

Zell put Lulu on the floor and went to her. He was on his knees, trying to help her.

“My son…my son…where is he?”

Lulu searched in the rubble and finally saw a little boy curled up, unconscious and injured. “I found him.” She approached and touched his face. “He’s alive…just knocked. Don’t worry, Miss…”

“Thanks Hyne…” sighted in relief the woman.

“Don’t move, Miss…your injuries are severe…” He turned around to check the boy. “Okay, he’s fine…Lulu, stay with him and cast a cure spell.”

“Yes.”

He returned to the woman. “It’s all right, your son is safe. I’m gonna help you…” He searched something in his pocket. “Drink it…it’s a potion.”

The woman drank slowly and breathed with difficulties. She was looking at her son, worried, without thinking about her injuries.

“Mister…take him away from here…please…”

“I won’t let you. Help should be along soon…your boy is fine, don’t worry.”

The woman grabbed Zell’s hand. “I…know you. You’re one…of the heroes…who killed the sorceress, do you?”

“Yes…don’t talk. Save your energy.”

“My son…”

“I told you he’s okay, don’t worry…”

“His name is Clad…” she said smiling. “You will take care of him…do you?”

Zell touched her face gently. “Please Miss, don’t talk…you’re weak and you’ve lost a lot of blood…”

“What…’s your name?”

“Zell Dincht…”

“Nice…to meet you, Mister Dincht…I’m…Karen…Gilian…”

“Okay Karen, I’ll stay with you…try to breathe slowly…” He turned his head to look for Lulu. “Do you have a curaga Lulu?"

“Yes, I’m coming.”

But the woman squeezed Zell’s hand firmly. “No! Keep it for Clad…”

Lulu stopped and fixed the mother, sadly.

“Alright, Karen, let me help you.”

“Mister Dincht…”

“Call me Zell. What is it?”

“Promise me…to take care of my son…please…”

“You’ll be fine.” Reassured the martial artist but Karen insisted.

“Promise me…”

“I don’t need it because you’re gonna be here for him…”

She sighted. “Zell…I’m a doctor. I was working…in the main hospital in Timber…I know…I know I won’t survive…”

“Don’t say that!”

“Zell, listen…I’ve lost too much blood…my cervical vertebrae and my spinal column are injured…when I’ll move…I’ll die…so please…promise me…”

Zell kept silent, in shock. He didn’t want to hear that. He was still an optimistic man. He couldn’t renounce and accept this without doing everything he could.

“Karen…don’t give up. You’ll live!”

“Is she your daughter?” she asked looking at Lulu.

“Yes.”

“So, you’ll know how to take care of Clad. I’m sure…you’ll be a good father for him…”

“Don’t you have any family?”

“No…my husband died before his birth…I’m…alone…” she began to cry. “I wanted to visit Winhill with…Clad. I worked…so hard to go there…with him…it was supposed to be our fist travel…”

“Karen…”

“My bag…I can see it under the rubble…there…can you give it to me…please?”

Lulu went to search the bag and held it to her.

“Thank you…Lulu?”

“Yes ma’m…”

“You’ll be nice with Clad?”

“Sure…I’ll protect him.”

“Thank you sweetheart.” She fixed Zell again. “There’s…a book…and a pen inside…take it, please…”

Zell did it and opened the book, taking the pen. He understood she wanted he wrote something for her.

“Okay…write this please: “I undersigned, Karen Mira Gilian…bequeath to my only son..Clad…Oran Gilian…all my properties…” she made a pause to breathe. “…and choose Mister Zell Dincht as his legal tutor…” She held his hand. “Let…me sign it…”

Zell approached the book of her hand, allowing her to sign the page. Her hand was shaking hard but she managed to do it.

“Karen…”

“It’s okay, Zell…I trust you…I’ll be happy to know…that my son is with someone like you…you’re kind…”

“Karen…please, don’t die…” Zell started to cry. “Please…”

“Don’t cry…Zell…take care of him…”

“I will…”

“And…tell him…how much I love him…protect him…”

“I will…I promise I will, Karen…” said Zell taking her hand with his. “I’ll stay with you…until the end…”

“Thank you…Zell…”

Lulu covered Clad with her vest and enrolled her arms around his waist to warm him. Karen looked at her with kindness. She understood the little girl was nice and she felt relieved to know that her child would grow up in a good family. Zell never left her side…and after several minutes, waiting desperately for help…Karen died.

 

Twenty persons died in this accident. All the victims were brought to the main hospital in Timber. Zell carried Clad in his arms. Lulu followed him, keeping silence. In the ambulance, the martial artist didn’t say any word, Lulu neither. Both stayed quiet until they arrived to the hospital. Doctors and nurses checked their injuries and brought them in the same room.

Few hours later, the orphanage gang, Raijin, Fujin, Edea and Cid went to the hospital. Squall heard about the train accident and called the hospital to know if Zell and Lulu were ones of the victims. After had asked his room to the secretary, they went directly to his door.

“Come in.”

The group entered. “Zell! Lulu! How are you?” demanded Squall, worried.

“We’re fine, it’s okay.”

“Laguna and Quistis are on the road with the Ragnarok. They’re gonna bring your mother with them.” explained Edea.

“Okay…”

“What happened?” asked Linoa.

“Dunno…the train derailed and probably hit something…”

Lulu was sleeping peacefully. Her bird was with her on the pillow. He hadn’t been damaged during the accident. Selphie approached and saw a little boy sleeping by her side. He was blonde with hair in ears.

“Who is the boy?” asked the brunette.

Zell sighted. “My future son…”

“What?” blinked the group.

“Yes…” he took the book and held it to Irvine. “I’ve tried to save his mother, in the train…but before dying, she asked me to take care of him. It’s mentioned on her will…”

Irvine read it and confirmed to the others what was written on the page. Zell closed his eyes and grabbed his head with his hands.

“She thought he would be happier with me because I was a hero…she recognized me as one of the people who defeated the sorceress…she made me promise to protect him…”

“Zell…” whispered Edea rubbing his back gently.

“I’ll do my best. I promised her…”

“What’s his name?” demanded Linoa.

“Clad. Clad Gilian.”

 

* * *

Zell, Lulu and Clad stayed few days in the hospital. The group took care of administrative formalities for Clad’s adoption. Zell became his legal tutor. The child was young. He was three, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was a bit afraid to be alone and was searching his mother. He didn’t understand when people explained him that she was gone. He didn’t say a single word to anyone, waiting for the return of his mother. It was hard for Zell to deal with it. He thought he wasn’t a good father for Lulu since Seifer’s mutation, but now, he had two children…he didn’t know if he could take care good of them but he promised to Karen.

They left the hospital one week later, after Karen’s funeral. Quistis and Laguna returned to Esthar.  The rest of the orphanage group went back to Balamb. Zell’s mother stayed with the little family and accompanied them to Winhill with a rented car. Zell didn’t want to take the train to not scare Lulu and Clad. She stayed with them several days before returning to Balamb. During all this time, Clad didn’t talk. He stayed quiet and calm. Zell understood that he hadn’t realized yet what happened to his mother…he needed more time. But the child seemed to be close to Lulu. His face changed of expression when he was with her. She comforted him with kindness and patience, as if he was her younger brother. In fact, that was what Clad became when Zell adopted him…Clad trusted her but he was still hesitant with Zell.

On the afternoon, Zell was at his home, preparing the dinner. Clad was sleeping upstairs. Lulu joined her father in the kitchen.

“Can I help you Zelly?”

“Oh, sweetie! I thought you were sleeping…”

“I woke up but Clad is still asleep.”

“Hum…I see. Well, if you wanna help me, can you give the eggs in the fridge, please?”

“Sure.” She opened the fridge and grabbed the eggs before giving it to Zell. “Something bothers you, do you?”

Zell smiled. “I think you already know what’s wrong.”

“Yes…I wished you could tell me first but…”

“I’m sorry Lu…you know how I’m.”

“Yes. That’s why I’m not mad at you. You always try to resolve your problems alone.”

“Looks like I’m not really good…”

“I’m not better than you. I just have an advantage since I can read people’s thoughts when they're linked to you and Vivi.”

“Hum…”

Lulu approached and sat on a chair. “You know…Clad begins to understand.”

“He didn’t say a single word since we left the hospital…”

“I know, Zelly…he needs more time.”

The tattooed man turned over to look at her. “You lost your father and your grandfather at the same age, don’t you? You should understand his pain better than anyone…”

“You know, it’s hard to say but I wasn’t sad when my father died. I didn’t see him often since he was a soldier…he died before my second birthday. But when Popy died one year later, I felt so bad…he was living with us, I saw him every day, so I couldn’t accept his death…it doesn’t mean that I didn’t love my father or my mother, but I didn’t know them. It was different for Popy…”

“You don’t have to tell me this, honey. I understand. You know, I don’t remember my parents so I can’t cry for them…but if something happened to Ma, I know I would feel very bad…”

“Yes…” she made a pause before continuing to speak. “I think Clad understood now she’s gone…”

“He seems to feel at ease with you.”

“He doesn’t love me more than you, Zelly.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I know it’s what you’re thinking, and I don’t like it.”

“Lulu…”

“Zelly, listen: you’re a good father. I love you and when Clad will understand, I’m sure he’ll love you too, so stop asking yourself if you’ll be able to take care of us because it’s stupid. Of course you will!” she said exasperate.

The martial artist laughed and stroked her hair. “You know, honey, it’s embarrassing when you read my thoughts all the time…”

She blushed. “I don’t…at least, only when you’re feeling bad.”

“That’s what I said: all the time…”

“No! Not every time…” she smiled. “You know, sometimes, I can feel you think about Vivi, remembering good times with him, so I don’t do it…”

Zell blushed. “What…what do you mean?”

“Why do you think I didn’t sleep with you two when you came to visit us?” she replied with malice.

“Lulu!”

“What? I know you gave pleasure to each other…even if I didn’t really understand how and why you had to be naked for that…”

Zell became completely red. “Stop it! You’re too young to…anyway, I don’t want to talk about it!”

“It’s exactly what Selphy and Irvy said to me when I asked them what you and Vivi did on the bed…they just explained that you gave love to each other…”

“Okay, okay…let’s stop. It becomes weird.”

“I’m not stupid you know? I understand that you can do this only with Vivi.”

The martial artist sighted. “Yes, you’re right…” he thought suddenly about what happened in the cavern.

She went closer and took his hand. “I know you asked me to not read your thoughts all the time…but you don’t have to feel guilty about what the nasty people did to you…”

Zell tried to contain his tears, breathing heavily. He was so ashamed that he wanted to disappear in a hole. Lulu saw him this day…the little girl grabbed Zell’s waist and hugged him tightly.

“Vivi has the same kind of thoughts when he recalls what people did to him too…it’s hard to find words to comfort you two when you think about it…but please, don’t blame yourself.”

The martial artist put a knee on the floor and fixed Lulu in the eyes. “You shouldn’t have seen that, sweetie…I’m sorry.”

“I want to help you…”

“You do. But nobody can help me for this thing. I can’t forget but with the time, I’ll bear with it.”

“Okay.” She rubbed Zell’s back with her soft hand. “Zelly?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you feel something when we had the accident in the train?”

Zell frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…I felt something. I’m not sure but…”

“What? Tell me.”

“I think I felt Vivi.”

“Seifer?”

“Yes. As I told you, I’m not sure but I think he protected us when we were in the train.”

“Oh…why don’t you ask him?”

“I’ve tried, but I couldn’t find him. You know, sometimes he disappears without saying a word and I can’t talk with him or hear his voice.”

“So, he didn’t reply lately when you tried to call him?”

“No. He never admitted but I know it hurts him when we talk together because he misses us. He’d like to see you and me but he’s afraid to scare us with his appearance.”

“Can you summon him?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think he would appreciate. If he didn’t reply when I called him, it’s for a good reason.”

“You’re probably right.” Zell turned around and went to the fridge to take the milk. “You should wake Clad. It’s already late.”

“Okay.”

Lulu left the kitchen, letting the martial artist alone. Zell was thinking about what his daughter said. He closed his eyes, exhausted, sighting.

“Seifer…”


	6. Hope and denial

Few months later, things went well with the little family. Clad became close to Zell and Lulu. People in Winhill accepted him. They had been touched by his story and the death of his mother. When the little kid went to school, the children welcomed him. Zell found his confidence again. His kids helped him a lot. Lulu reassured him telling him that he was a good father, even if he was alone, without Seifer by his side.

Early in the morning, Zell finished to prepare his baggage.

“Clad, Lulu. We’re gonna be in late!”

“Coming Zelly!” replied the little girl, walking down the stairs.

“Where’s your brother?”

“He’s coming. He’s looking for his teddy bear.”

Zell rolled his eyes. “Clad! Hurry please! We have to take the boat at 11 and the road is long.”

The kid joined them. “Sorry Zelly. I’m ready.”

“Did you find your teddy bear?”

“Yes!”

“Okay! Everyone in the car.”

The children left the house and ran toward the car with the little bird, Chickie. Zell closed and locked the door behind him. They planned to visit his ma, in Balamb, but they didn’t take the train. Since the accident, Clad and Lulu were a bit afraid so Zell bought a car and they took the ferry to reach the little island. It was better for everyone.

The martial artist told the Mayor he would leave with Clad and Lulu for two weeks, so the two seeds who used to stay in the entrance of the village, took Zell’s place during his absence. When Seifer was living with Lulu, the seeds left the place but Zell knew them so he asked to his friends to take care of people. Everyone knew them in the town so they trusted the two soldiers.

After few hours on the road, the little family arrived in Timber and took the ferry just in time. The kids loved to travel by boat. They enjoyed to see the beach and ran everywhere. Zell was happy to travel with his children. Clad became closer to him and considered him as his father. Sometimes, he called his mother when he made a nightmare but the martial artist comforted him. With the time, Clad accepted his life changed but he seemed to be happy with his dad and his sister. Even if his children gave him joy and happiness, Zell couldn’t stop thinking about Seifer. It was as if the little family was incomplete without him, and deep in his heart, he never accepted it. He put his elbows on the balcony to fix the horizon with nostalgia. It was practically two years that Seifer mutated and he missed him every single day. Plus, since the accident, Lulu couldn’t find him. He never answered to her when she called him, and she didn’t want to summon him if they weren’t in danger. Lulu and Zell were worried for him but they couldn’t do anything else. The little girl didn’t feel he was in danger. She could still feel his strength but for some unknown reasons, Seifer avoided her.

At the end of the afternoon, Zell and the kids reached Balamb and went to the center of the town to visit Ma. She was so happy to see her grandchildren that she prepared cakes, bought candies, chocolates and so many other sweet things. The children jumped with joy in her arms to kiss and thank her. They shared good moments during the dinner. Clad and Lulu couldn’t stop laughing and talking. Ma spoiled them this night so they were so happy they couldn’t stay in the same place more than twenty seconds. They followed Zell’s mother everywhere, talking with her about school and other things, but at the end of the dinner, they began to be tired. Zell prepared their bath and took them to the bed before joining his mother in the living room.

“Are they already asleep?” asked Ma.

“Yes. The road exhausted them but they love boat trip.”

“I suppose it’s safer for them…Clad seems to be fine.”

“Yes, but he makes nightmares sometimes. He’s very close to Lulu so he’s okay.”

“His mother was right. You take care of him very well. He told me you went to the beach last week and you taught him how to swim.”

“I was a bit scared but I thought it was important for him.”

“Are you still afraid of the water?”

Zell sighted and looked down. “A little bit but…I’m okay now.”

His mother noticed he became sad suddenly. “Zell? What’s wrong, honey?”

“It’s just…”

“Tell me.”

He sat on the sofa, closing his eyes. “When I was in Deep sea with Seifer and Lulu, we used to swim together. At the beginning, I didn’t want to join them but Seifer pulled me in the water with him…” he smiled sadly. “I remember I yelled at him all the day, but he said he knew I was afraid of the water since we were in the orphanage and he just wanted to erase all my fears.”

“Zell…”

“I didn’t recall why I was so scared of the water until he told me I used to like swinging before a big wave knocked me one day. I practically drowned myself and since this day I never went back to the sea anymore…he reminded this about me whereas I completely forgot…”

“Honey, don’t be mad but you have to turn the page.”

“I know, but I can’t.”

“It has been already two years, Zell. I think you should try to meet someone…”

“Mom, please…”

“It was what Seifer wanted…”

“Stop talking as if he was dead!”

“Excuse-me…” she looked down.

Zell bit his lip, ashamed. “No, mom…I shouldn’t have said that…I’m sorry.”

“I understand what you feel, darling. I miss your father everyday…”

“I miss him too. I wished he could have met his grandchildren…”

“Yes. I’m sure he would have been proud of them…and of you too.”

He hugged his mother in his arms. “You tell me to meet someone else but you stayed single after dad’s death…”

“Who told you I’m single?”

Zell blinked. “Did you meet someone?”

“Maybe…”

“Tell me! Who’s he? Someone I know?”

“Hum…this is recent. I don't want to get ahead of myself but I’m seeing someone lately…”

“Tell me!!!” asked again Zell, impatient. “Who’s it?”

“Rina…”

“Rina? Rina Wallace, the fisherman?”

“Yes. He invited me for dinner about three weeks ago and we went out on town sometimes…”

“Really? Why did he wait for so long?”

“You know, he said he was embarrassed because of people’s gossips in the town and he was afraid about his daughter’s reaction. He lost his wife about three years ago, so he didn’t want to meet someone…”

“And?”

“And…one night, we met at the port and he invited me…” She blushed a bit and fixed his son in the eyes. “Does it bother you?”

“Of course not! I’m happy for you. Does his daughter know about you two?”

“Yes. She’s fine with it.”

“Good. I hope it will work between you and him. He’s a nice guy.”

“Yes…he was a bit scared about your reaction.”

“Huh? Why should I oppose to your happiness? If you two are in love, I’m okay. Bring him here next time.”

“Sure…”

She rubbed Zell’s back with her soft hand. “You know, his daughter Sarah is single and…” but his son cut her.

“Mom, I told you I don’t want to meet someone else.”

“Zell, it’s not good for you to stay alone.”

“I’ve Lulu and Clad with me, I’m not alone.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to love anybody else.”

“Darling…”

“Ma, please!” Zell crossed his arms to hold himself. “Please, it’s already hard enough…”

“I just want your happiness…”

“I know. I appreciate your concern but Seifer is the one who can make me happy. It’s not because we aren’t together now that things will stay like this forever…”

“I…don’t understand you…”

Zell scratched his head and took his mother‘s hand. “I keep hope. He’s not dead, Ma…”

“Darling, living in denial will hurt you.”

“But hope is the only thing I have. I prefer to live in denial rather than crying for the rest of my life. I’m not as strong as you…I don’t understand how you managed to bear with dad’s death, but I can’t. I believe things will change one day. Maybe it’s just an illusion, maybe I’ll suffer but I feel it so strongly that I can’t turn the page. So please, don’t tell me to forget him in the arms of another person…”

She sighted, defeated. “You’re stubborn. Even if I try to convince you, you’ll do what you decided…”

“You know how I am.”

“Yes…” She kissed his forehead. “You should go to bed, it’s already late.”

“You’re right. Goodnight Ma.

“Goodnight Darling.”

 

* * *

 

One week later, Squall and Linoa went to see the little family in Balamb. The Garden planned to leave the small island for Esthar. Laguna organized a giant meeting to celebrate Ultimecia’s death, in the technological city. People were coming from every continent and every Garden. For this special occasion, Laguna invited authorities’ representatives of each continent, including the new President of Deling City. Esthar and Galbadia were still opposed but not in a war conflict anymore. The relations with the two cities were complicated but since the world lived in peace, Galbadia accepted Laguna’s invitation. At the beginning, Zell didn’t want to go but Winhill's Mayor asked him to come. Plus, Squall, his mother and the others insisted so he finally agreed.

“So? Are you coming with us?” demanded Linoa.

“Yes, but I have to buy tickets for the boat…” replied the martial artist.

“You can come with the Garden.” Proposed Squall but he realized he shouldn’t have said that when he noticed Zell’s expression.

“No…I prefer to go by my own.”

“It’s a long way to reach Esthar…”

“I’ll leave earlier so I can arrive in time with the kids. The ceremony is in two days after all.”

“Yes, but there will be a lot of people in transport.” Said Linoa.

“I know…”

“Oh!” blinked Squall. “I can ask my father to send us the Ragnarok.”

“You don’t have to. I don’t want to bother him…”

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I’m gonna call him right now. Maybe you can leave tonight? You could stay with Quistis until the ceremony. She’s a bit busy since Auron’s birth but she will be glad to see you with Lulu and Clad.”

“That’s a good idea. Let’s do this.”

“Good. I’m gonna join you with the Garden tomorrow.”

 

The Ragnarok arrived at the end of the day. Zell, Lulu, Clad and his mother left Balamb. They reached Esthar in the middle of the night. They stayed with Quistis, Laguna and their son Auron. The next day, the Garden left the small island and arrived in the afternoon to Esthar. The continent was now accessible for the Bgu so it could stay on the continent. The ceremony was planned for the next day but there were already a lot of tourists in the big city. All the hotels were complete. Trabia and Galbadia Gardens were also on the continent.

The group met in the Presidential Palace. Squall, Linoa, Selphie, Edea, Cid, Laguna, Quistis, Kiros, Ward, Zell and the children were already there. Irvine had been sent in a mission at the last moment, in Deling City but Selphie had to take him with the Ragnarok. She proposed to Raijin and Fujin to pick them in Timber since it was on the same road.

“Selphy? When are you gonna take Irvy?” asked Lulu.

“Tomorrow morning.  Since the ceremony starts in the afternoon, we have all the time.” Replied Selphie, caressing her hair.

“Can I come with you?”

“Sure…but you have to ask to your father first.”

Lulu ran toward Zell. “Zelly? Can I go with Selphy tomorrow morning?”

The martial artist seemed to be hesitant. “Lu…it’s a long way. I’d like to stay with Quistis a bit longer until the ceremony, you know…”

“But you can stay here with Clad and Ma. I can go with Selphy…”

“Hum…I don’t know…”

Selphie approached, annoyed. “Do you insinuate that I can’t take care of Lulu, Zell?”

“No, no! It’s not what I mean! It’s just…I don’t like to let her alone…”

“She won’t be ALONE! I’ll be with her!” She insisted.

Zell laughed. “All right, all right…but be careful!”

“I promise!” she jumped in joy and took Lulu in her arms. “We’re gonna travel together Lulu!!!”

“Yes! It’ll be fun!!”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Selphie and Lulu left the Presidential Palace early in the morning to go to the airfield. Zell accompanied them and said them goodbye. He was a bit worried for his daughter but he trusted Selphie and he knew if something happened to Lulu, Seifer would protect her.

The Ragnarok arrived at Timber later in the morning and picked Raijin, Fujin and the little Seifer. They went finally to Deling City to take Irvine who was waiting for them outside of the city.

“Hi guys!”

“Irvy!” said Lulu, jumping in his arms.

“Hello sweetie! How are you?”

“Fine! I’m glad to see you.”

“Me too.” He gave her a little kiss on her cheek and joined the others. “Raijin, Fujin. Long time no see…hello Seifer!”

“ ‘Vine!” said the little boy hugging the cowboy in his arms.

“How was your mission, Darling?” asked Selphie, kissing her boyfriend.

“Fine…just boring as always.” He turned around to see Raijin and Fujin. “What about you guys? I thought you were already in Esthar.”

“No, we had to make the inventory before closing the shop, so it took a long time, ya know?”

“I see…”

“The ceremony starts in the afternoon. We have all the time.” Added Fujin.

“Yes! Let’s go guys!” concluded Selphie.

Everyone sat and the Ragnarok left Galbadia Continent. Lulu was playing with the little Seifer and her bird when she felt strange. Fujin noticed something was wrong.

“Lulu? Are you okay?”

“Yes…” the little girl shook her head. She was breathing heavily.

“Are you sure? You look pale.” Said Raijin.

Irvine approached and touched her forehead with his hand. “Are you feeling bad, sweetie?”

“No…just tired.”

“You should rest a bit. Go to lie down on the bed and try to sleep.” Suggested Fujin.

“Yes…”

“I’m coming with you.” Proposed Irvine.

“No Irvy, it’s okay. I know where the room is. I woke up early this morning…so I’m just tired. See you later!” the little girl waved at them and left the main room. She entered in the first bedroom and sat on the bed.

“Vivi? Is that you?”

No answer. She tried again.

“Vivi…I can’t feel your presence anymore. Where are you?”

Seifer didn’t reply.

“Talk to me. There’s a long time since I didn’t hear your voice. Why do you avoid me?”

She began to cry. Seifer didn’t talk to her since she had the accident. It was as if he disappeared, but at this time, Lulu could feel his presence and his power. She suddenly felt disjunctionned with him.

“Vivi…where are you? I miss you so much…please say something. You asked me to not read your thoughts so I did it but…you promised me you would be there for me. I can’t feel your presence anymore...”

Lulu understood something was wrong, so she tried to think. She put her hands on her ears and concentrated. After a short time, she blinked and stood up abruptly. She left the bedroom and ran toward the others.

“Selphy!” she yelled.

The group jumped hearing her shouting. “What’s wrong Lulu?” asked Irvine worried.

“Let’s go to Deep sea!” she said.

“What?” blinked Selphie. “What for?”

“Please Selphy! Bring me to Deep sea!” she asked again.

Fujin and Raijin went to her. “What is it Lulu?”

“I can’t tell you now. I’m not sure about this but I’m begging you! Bring me to Deep sea!”

“Lulu…we can go another day if you want. It’s a long way and we’re gonna be in late…” said Irvine.

“Irvy, I know it’s far but…please, I’m begging you. I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. I felt something but I can’t tell you…please, bring me to there!” she fixed the cowboy with her big blue eyes.

“Selphie?”

“Hum…”

Fujin put her hand on Lulu’s shoulder. “We should go. Lulu’s never wrong. If she felt something, we should check it.”

The little girl turned around to see the woman. “Thank you Fujy…”

“Okay…” agreed Selphie. “Irvine, call the others and tell them we’ll be in late.”

“Should I tell them about what Lulu felt?”

“No…find a good excuse. We don’t need to worry them if it’s nothing.”

“All right.”

 

Selphie pushed the Ragnarok to the most of it speed and reached the research center in few hours. They were practically arrived at the destination when Lulu looked through the window, trying to perceive something on the sea. The ship landed on the water, against the platform. The group went outside. Lulu was the first to leave the aircraft. She was running to the exit as an arrow. Everyone followed her without asking question. The door of the ship opened. The light was bright and blinded everyone when they noticed a figure. The group blinked with shock, mouth wide open. The little girl couldn’t contain her tears anymore and ran outside.

“VIVI!!!!!!”

She jumped in his arms and hugged him tightly. 

“Lulu…I missed you so much, sweetie…” whispered Seifer, caressing her hair and kissing her forehead. “Let me look at you…” He was smiling and crying and the same time. “You’re so beautiful…you grew up so much…”

“Vivi…where were you? I called you so many times but you never answered me…”

“It’s complicated, sweetheart…how did you know I was there?”

“I felt I was disjunctionned with you, I thought you came back here because it was there you were happy with Zelly…I’ve tried to read your thoughts when I couldn’t feel your presence anymore but it was hard. I just could read Deep sea…” she held him again, pressing her little body against his strong torso. “I missed you…I knew you would come back…”

“Lulu…”

The others approached slowly. They joined the gunbladist and his daughter, but they had some difficulties to recognize Seifer.

“Sei…Seifer?” asked Raijin.

At the beginning, the little kid raised his head but he understood his father was talking to the man.

“Guys…I’m happy to see you again!”

Selphie jumped in joy. “WELCOME BACK SEIFY!!!!!”

“Thanks…”

“Damn…what happened to you?” asked Irvine. “You’re skinny…and what are you doing here? How Lulu knew that you were here?”

“It’s a long story…but don’t worry, I’m gonna explain everything…”

Fujin stayed quiet, still in shock. When Seifer noticed she didn’t say a single word, he got up, still holding Lulu by the hand and fixed her. “Fuu…”

She began to cry and fell on his arms. “It’s…really you…Seifer…” she murmured crying against his chest. She held him so tightly that it was hard for him to breathe, but he didn’t protest and hugged her back.

“Yes…it’s good to see you again…”

After a long moment, she released him. Seifer took Lulu in his arms and hugged her. He didn’t want to let her go. It was the same for her. His appearance was really different: he was thinner and half naked. He just wore his black pants, and had no shoes. His hair was particularly long, reaching the end of his back.

“Zell isn’t with you?”

“No…he’s at Esthar with the others. We celebrate the anniversary of Ultimecia’s death and Laguna organized a giant ceremony, but on the road, Lulu asked us to go to Deep sea so we came…” explained Raijin.

“We should leave now. We can be in time for the ceremony.” Said Selphie.

“All right, let’s go.”

The group didn’t waste any time and returned in the aircraft. The Ragnarok was already in the air to reach Esthar. On the road, Seifer began to explain them what happened to him.

“When Lulu and Zell had this accident in Timber, I realized that I could use my power without Lulu needs to summon me…”

“You protected us, did you?” asked the little girl.

“Yes…I felt something would happen to you so I casted a protection spell…but it wasn’t enough powerful to protect everyone…I’m so sorry for Clad’s mother…”

“Do you know why the train derailed?” asked Fujin.

“No…I think it was a technical problem. I just felt Lulu and Zell were in danger…”

“What happened next?” demanded Irvine.

“After that, I’ve trained to control my power and I started to recover my human form on some parts of my body. It asked me a lot of energy so I was exhausted…” he stroked Lulu’s hair, smiling. “I wasn’t sure I would be able to become human again so I didn’t want to give you false hopes…that’s why I didn’t reply when you called me and why I didn’t want you read my thoughts, sweetie…I’m sorry…”

“I held my promise. I didn’t do it…”

“Yes…I hope you’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not…” she kissed his cheek.

“Thank you…then, I continued to train every day and I finally did it. It took me a lot of effort to recover my human form entirely but I didn’t waste my time…”

“When did you make it?” asked Selphie.

“I did it completely yesterday but I wasn’t sure I could do it again. I’ve tried several times and now I can transform myself whenever I want. I managed to break the junction with Lulu but I couldn’t talk with her anymore, even if there’s still a strong bond between us…”

“But what were you doing there?” demanded Irvine.

“I used to live there when I became a g-force because it reminded me good times I shared with Zell and Lulu, and it was a good place to train…but when I recovered my human form, I was too exhausted to transform again to leave this place. I was waiting to find some strength again…and you came to pick me.”

“It’s all thanks to Lulu!” exclaimed Fujin

“Yes…it’s always thanks to her…it always had been thanks to you, honey…” Said Seifer smiling.

She let Seifer’s hand go and grabbed the leather strap she wore on her fist. “I kept it for you…” she gave him the present she made for him and tied it around Seifer’s wrist.

“Thanks…”

“Zelly will be so happy to see you again! He was so sad to be without you…”

“I know Lulu, I felt the same…” He got up and went to Selphie. “Hum…is it possible to stop at Winhill first please?”

“Why? Don’t you want to see Zell?” asked Selphie surprised.

“Of course I want to…it’s just…I don’t want he sees me like that…I’m ugly…”

“Don’t say that Vivi! You’re beautiful!”

“You’re so kind, angel, but I don’t think he would recognize me…and I want he finds the same face he has known.”

“We don’t have to stop there. We can cut your hair and there’s a shower in the Ragnarok now.” Said Irvine.

“But…I’ve no clean clothes to wear.”

“We’ll find you something.” Raijin grabbed his arm. “Time for shower, man! Hurry!!!”

Fujin and Lulu followed them and found uniforms in the main room.

“Here! We found something which suits you…” said Fujin laughing. She showed the uniform of Esthar Army to him.

Seifer blinked. “What the hell? I’ll never wear this!!!”

“You said it earlier. You’ve nothing else to wear…”

“I’d rather be naked than wearing this ugly uniform! No way!!”

“Come on Seifer! You will be beautiful…” laughed Raijin.

 

* * *

 

On the same time, the others were in Esthar. The ceremony was about to start soon. Zell was particularly worried for Lulu. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and he began to imagine a lot of things. Irvine told him that The Ragnarok didn’t want to take off again after Selphie picked him at Deling City, but he didn’t believe him. He knew they were hiding something but Irvine promised nothing happened to Lulu or to anyone.

“Zell, calm down. I’m sure it’s nothing serious…” tried to reassure Squall.

“I received a message from Fujin. She says they’re on the road, don’t worry, Zell.” Added Linoa.

“Okay…but I’m sure they didn’t tell me the truth!” replied the martial artist pissed.

“We’ll ask them when they’ll arrive. We should join Laguna, Kiros and Ward in the main room.” Said Quistis. 

Zell agreed and followed Quistis, her son Auron, Squall, Linoa, Zack and his Ma. They sat just behind the lectern. Laguna was reading a last time his documents. Kiros and Ward were on his left, looking at him with a smile. Kiros betted with everyone that Laguna would probably embarrass himself saying something stupid, as always so the group was waiting for this crucial moment. The President looked his sons and his wife, waving at them before checking his micro.

“ All right everyone, please take a seat…” proposed Laguna.

There were a lot of people in the main room: politicians, businessmen, seeds, headmasters and instructors from each Garden and influential people. Everyone sat and waited for Laguna’s speech. Zell was looking for Lulu in the room but he didn’t find her. He was more and more worried. Clad noticed it. He was sitting on his lap.

“Zelly?”

“Yes honey?”

“You’re strange…”

“Oh…it’s nothing. I’m just worried for your sister. She should be there with Selphie and the others now…”

Zell’s Ma took his hand. “Irvine said they would be in late, don’t worry. They’re probably on the road.”

“Yes…”

Squall smiled at his friend, trying to reassure him when he saw a little group entering in the main room. They were a bit far away from the platform where he was with Zell and the others but he could recognize Selphie with her yellow dress. She was with Irvine, Lulu, Raijin, Fujin and their son Seifer. He frowned when he noticed that they were accompanied by an estharian soldier in uniform.

“Look, they just arrived.” Said Squall pointed Selphie and the others with his fingers.

Zell fixed the small group and waved at them relieved. “But…why this soldier is with them?” asked the martial artist to Quistis.

“I don’t know. Maybe someone they know?” suggested the blonde with her son in her arms.

“I should go with them.” Zell was about to get up when his Ma stopped him.

“Laguna’s gonna start his speech. We can join them later.”

“Yes, you’re right…” he made a sign to his daughter and noticed she replied waving her hand.

 

 

“I can’t believe you forced me to wear these ridiculous clothes!!!” muttered Seifer behind his cask.

“These clothes form perfectly to the shape of your body…you’re gorgeous like that!” joked Selphie.

“I look like a clown!”

The group laughed at him. “It were the only clothes we had anyway…”

“We could have stopped to Winhill or in the commercial center to buy others…you did it on purpose!!” added Seifer, pissed.

“We would have been in late. Laguna’s gonna start soon…”

Seifer fixed Zell with the others. He smiled when he saw his lover. He just wanted to run toward him and kiss him but the ceremony was about to begin. He noticed the little boy on his lap.

“Is it Clad on Zell’s lap?” asked the tall blonde to his daughter.

“Yes. Zelly adopted him after the accident…”

“I see…” He fixed again his fiancé. _“Zell is even more beautiful than in my memories…”_ he thought.

 

 

Laguna cleared his throat and started to speak:

“Welcome everyone. Thanks for coming to Esthar to celebrate this special day. I’m happy to see all of you here today. I’d like to thank every authority’s representatives of each continent to be there, especially the president of Deling City as well as the headmasters of Trabia, Galbadia and Balamb Garden to have joined us.”

People applauded. Selphie took the opportunity to make a sign to Seifer.

“You can remove your cask if you want that Zell notices you.”

“I will but let’s Laguna finish speaking first.”

 

 

Laguna waved at everyone and continued to talk:

“We’re living in a peaceful world now. Time has come to stop fighting. Too many people lost lives because of the wars and it wasn’t just Ultimecia’s fault. Esthar and Galbadia don’t need to be in conflict anymore because our common enemy has been finally destroyed once and for all. I come from Galbadia…I was a soldier in Galbadia army, but I’m also the president of Esthar. People accepted me knowing where I came from because of Adel. At this time, they forgot the war with Galbadia to concentrate their anger against their only enemy: the sorceress. Several years later, they trusted other people coming from all around the world to destroy the new threat named Ultimecia. When we joined forces, we succeeded. The sorceress used Galbadia, its government, its Garden to make war…so let’s stop blaming each other. Let’s write another page of our story together…”

Some people got up to applaud Laguna. Everyone agreed with the president and approved what he was saying about the war…about the peace.

“If we can stop fighting, to forget and forgive, I also ask you to do the same thing with someone who isn’t here today…Seifer Almasy, better known as the former sorceress’ knight.”   

Everyone stayed quiet, with surprise when they heard this name. Some of them started to murmur, frowning. Laguna understood the sudden embarrassment of everybody and explained:

“A lot of people judged him responsible of the atrocities, the deaths and the crimes during the last war, but not many of you know what really happened…”

Seifer kept silent, thinking about this time and about what he did when he was under Ultimecia’s control. He felt Lulu’s hand squeezing his. The little girl was smiling to comfort him.

“He was just a teenager when Ultimecia used him as her knight…and believe me or not, he suffered and paid more than you could imagine. I know what I’m talking about to have seen what he endured. Some people here will agree with me. I can’t tell you because he wouldn’t forgive me to say it, but I can confirm you that he tried to help us; he tried to save us from this threat…but he wasn’t strong enough to defeat her alone at this time. She controlled his mind and forced him to commit all these crimes but he never had been a monster…”

Seifer sighted sadly. He was relieved that Laguna didn’t talk about what Ultimecia did to him at this time. He fixed Matron who was sitting near of the platform with her husband Cid. He was holding her hand to comfort her.

“We thought we killed Ultimecia…but she didn’t die this day. She used Edea Kramer and Linoa Heartilly’s bodies but also Seifer Almasy’s mind to keep herself alive. She finally managed to release herself about two years ago to come back. Her power increased and we thought we were lost. We weren’t prepared enough to defeat her…but we did it again…and she disappeared definitively.”

Everyone clapped hands to celebrate the sorceress’ death with joy. Zell was smiling sadly. He fixed Lulu and the soldier in uniform, still wondering who he was.

“I say “we” but in fact, we couldn’t do anything against her…It’s all thanks to Seifer Almasy and his daughter that we are still alive today.”

People blinked and fixed the president with interrogation. Laguna made a pause, giving a glance to Zell and spoke again: “About two years ago, when Ultimecia appeared again, she used Linoa Heartilly’s body to fight us. She took back all of her strength stealing Edea Kramer’s powers too, but a little girl released them from the sorceress and she fought against her with her adoptive father, Seifer Alamsy. These two persons are the only ones who saved us from Ultimecia. We owe them our lives so I hope you would consider this man as a hero and not as the former sorceress’ knight anymore. I talk about him in the past tense not because he’s dead but because he disappeared about two years ago…”

Zell closed his eyes, trying to bear the pain he felt. His mother gave him support putting her hand on his shoulder. Seifer fixed his lover with sadness.

“I’d like to read you a letter written about twenty years ago. It was supposed to be addressed to the newspaper The Timber Maniac but his author never had the time to send it…” Laguna took the letter and began to read:

_“To Mister Alan Loons, director of the Timber Maniacs._

_Mister Loons, I took the liberty of writing you, hoping that I could draw the attention of your readers, and to alert everyone on something important about what is happening right now in my country. My name is Marcus Almasy. I am a scientist and I work with my wife Ely in the Junction Abilities Department, in Esthar. I used to work with Doctor Geyser and other scientists on magic abilities. You probably consider the Doctor Geyser as a genius but this man is dangerous. I discovered he was the one who convinced Adel when she was running Esthar to capture the children in Winhill. She was looking for a young girl named Ellone who had strange powers but Geyser used the other captives as guinea pigs for his experiences. We blamed Adel during all this time but in fact he was behind this massacre since the beginning. I never participated to these experiences and I didn’t know anything about this until today. I stole and kept all the documents to prove what I say. But there’s more…He has other plans. I can’t stop him alone. A lot of my colleagues share my point of view about this but as you know, our political situation is a bit complicated since Laguna Loire sent Adel in space. We don’t have any representative yet and Geyser uses this situation to perform illegal and terrifying experiences on humans. I wrote you to inform the world about this man. We have to stop him and we need international opinion for this._

_Not so long ago, we were working with a colleague on another experiment treatment when we discovered we could help and change people’s lives with a new medical process. It consisted on transplanting some cells of a creature named adamantoise on immune systems of ill and incurable patients. This creature had the faculty to regenerate alone so we thought maybe it could work on humans. It was the first time we tried this experience and I did it with our colleague with the utmost secrecy. The miracle occurred and the patient who received this treatment healed after few days. He survived despite the fact he was about to die. I suppose you find this strange and maybe terrifying but I can tell you that this person is perfectly normal and didn’t mutate. The patient was actually a little three years old boy who had_ _a rare disease which affected his immune system. He grew up and developed different deformations and other health problems since his birth. The doctors tried everything to save him: surgery, treatments, medicine and even cure spells. Nothing worked. He was about to die when we decided to perform this experience on him_. _He kept all his human cells and heals himself without medicine. He didn’t develop special abilities or powers._

_It was a fantastic discovery for us and we thought we could save lives with this new process, so we informed Geyser. We made a terrible mistake saying that to him because he became obsessed by this idea but not in a good way. We had no bad intention at the beginning. We just wanted to save lives and give hope to other people as this little boy who suffered because of incurable diseases. But Geyser wants to perform these experiences again with other cells of creatures…and dangerous ones. I’m scared about his plans, that’s why I opposed to him but now I’m threatened with my family. If we stay in Esthar, we’ll be killed soon. Your government accepted to welcome us in Deling City._

_I’m not a traitor. I love my country…but my wife and my son are my first priority. Help me to stop Geyser. Tell to the world what kind of fool he is. Tell to the world what kind of genius he is: a dangerous and perverted scientist who uses human, especially young children as guinea pigs._

_I know our countries are in conflict. I hope the war won’t start again. So many people already lost life. We can live together in the same world. Some of your compatriots helped us to get rid of Adel. Laguna Loire, Kiros Seagill and Ward Zabac are heroes in Esthar. They never betrayed Galbadia and they saved us when our army captured them. It means that Esthar and Galbadia could get along well. I wish and I pray for the peace between our countries. I hope these three heroes would help us to pacify our relations. You can be proud of them._

_I trust your opinion and wish that you could help me to inform the world about Geyser’s experiences. I read often your newspapers. I believe in your judgment and your impartiality. Don’t look at me as a traitor, or just as an estharian…but only as a husband and a father who wants to protect his family. Please Mister Loons, help me. I’ll give you all the documents to prove what I’m saying. Accept my best regards. Marcus Almasy.”_

People in the room stayed quiet and calm. It was the first time for most of them that they heard about the Almasy and they didn’t really understand why the President Loire read this letter today.

“As you can understand, Marcus and Ely Almasy were Seifer’s parents. They never reached Galbadia because they had been murdered in Salt Lake, just before taking the train. Their son, Seifer was just a kid at this time and he survived. He had been kidnapped and Geyser performed experiences on him with other people. I told you his story to make you realize what we’ve done to this man in the past. When I say “we”, I talk about Esthar and Galbadia. Estharian army killed the Almasy but they had been denounced by someone, who'll remain nameless still living in Deling City. We are responsible of their death. We’ve made an orphan and he had endured terrible experiences which changed him forever…” Laguna looked at Zell sadly. “As I speak now, Seifer Almasy disappeared after he fought against Ultimecia about two years ago, letting his daughter and his lover alone. We don’t know where and how he is. I want all of you know what we owe him, what we’ve done to him…the name “Almasy” must be cleared, as their honor. They weren’t traitors, but heroes. They wanted to help people with their discoveries and researches, but they had been killed for that. They didn’t deserve it, as their son didn’t deserve your contempt or your hatred. So, if we can celebrate Ultimecia’s death today, it’s all thanks to them. Never forget it please.”

Laguna finished his speech in front a quiet assembly. People kept silent for a long time when the new president of Deling City got up and applauded. Other people followed him. Everyone stood up and applauded with fervor and respect. Laguna turned around to see Kiros and Ward, then Zell and the others.

“I was wrong this time. He was pretty good today.” Whispered Kiros to Ward who laughed.

Zell got up, putting Clad on the floor and fixed Laguna with gratitude. He was glad that people finally understood who Seifer was really. The martial artist gave a glance to his daughter before hugging his mother in his arms.

Lulu released Seifer’s hand. “I think you can remove your cask now, Vivi.”

“Yes…” the tall blonde did it and smiled to his daughter with kindness.

He was waiting for Zell’s reaction but the tattooed man was on his back. Laguna was the first one who noticed Seifer. He blinked and rubbed his eyes to be sure. Seifer waved at him and thanked him with his head for his speech. Quistis joined Laguna and looked in the same direction when she saw the tall blonde too. She was frozen and seemed to be highly surprised. Linoa was the third and grabbed immediately Squall’s arm to show him his ex-rival. Squall frowned and blinked several times before recognizing the gunbladist. Zell’s mother was still hugging her son when she saw Seifer too.

“Zell…” she whispered softly.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

“The…the soldier with Lulu…”

“What?” Zell turned around and fixed his daughter when his eyes met Seifer. It was as if somebody slapped him on the face. He had his mouth open like an idiot. He was completely lost in his thoughts wondering if he was dreaming. He looked at his friends and his Ma to be sure of what he was seeing. He noticed their surprised look and understood he wasn’t alone to see the same thing. Seifer smiled at him and made a sign with his hand to his lover.

“Seif…Se..Seifer?”

Zell began to run toward him so quickly that he pushed some people on his way without realizing. The tall blonde stayed on the same place, waiting for his lover. The tattooed man didn’t waste any time, wondering if he saw correctly. He was scared to have imagined Seifer’s presence. He hoped that the tall blonde would still be there. When Zell finally arrived on the first floor, he ran faster to reach Seifer’s position. The tall blonde was still there, wearing an estharian uniform. He jumped in his arms and hugged him tightly. Seifer caressed his hair tenderly, smelling his scent.

“Are…you..r..real?” asked Zell, pressing his head against his lover’s chest.

“Yes…I’m back, honey…” he kissed his forehead and covered his back with his strong arms. “I missed you so much.”

Zell was trembling so hard that he couldn’t speak. He fixed Seifer and touched his face with his shaking hands. “Tell me…tell me…this is real…”

Seifer kissed him with passion, grabbing the martial artist by the waist. Zell kissed him back hungrily, as if he was devouring him.

 _“It’s him…his taste, his scent…it’s him…”_ thought Zell when he was kissing his lover back.

Seifer released him, smiling. “You’re still so cute my little chocobo…” he held him tightly against his chest. “It took me a long time to come back…I’m sorry, but I won’t ever leave you again.”

Zell began to cry. Seifer rubbed his back softly to comfort him. “Zell, don’t cry…”

But the tattooed man couldn’t stop crying. Seifer wiped his tears, kissing his forehead but he couldn’t help him to relax. Zell cracked up.

“Zell…please, don’t cry…” said again Seifer caressing his cheeks but Zell couldn’t stop. He grabbed his lover by the hips and pressed his body against his, hiding his head on his neck.

“Where were…you all…this time? Idiot!!” Zell started to slap his shoulders and his torso with his hands, still crying. “Where were you???Why? Why didn’t you come back earlier???”

“I wanted…but I couldn’t.” Seifer grabbed his hands with his. “I would have done anything to come back earlier…”

“Why did you never come to see me??? I needed you! Where were you???”

Seifer grabbed Zell’s hands and forced him to look at him. “Zell…please, listen: I never came to see you because I knew it would have hurt the both of us. I’ve trained all this time to recover my human form, that’s why I wasn’t there with you.”

“Idiot!! You should have told me!!”

“But I wasn’t sure I would succeed. I didn’t want to give you false hopes.”

Zell hugged him tightly, still crying. “You’re still an idiot, Almasy!”

“I know.” Seifer stroked his hair gently. “But that’s why you love me, right?”

“Hum...you better not leave me again or I’ll kill you!”

“Such a nice way to welcome your fiancé!”

Zell suddenly remembered something and released himself. He took his rings on the chain around his neck and held one to Seifer. “It belongs to you.”

“Yes…I thought you sold it.” Joked the tall blonde.

“As if I could have done this, dumbass…”

“Hey! Don’t be so nasty, will you? I was just kidding.” Complained Seifer.

“It’s not funny…” Zell cried again.

“Zell…”

“How could you joke with this? If Lulu hadn’t be there for me, I would have…” but Seifer cut him in the middle of his sentence.

“Shut up! Don’t ever think about it” He took his face with his two hands. “I won’t forgive you if you ever think about this again, understood?”

“I missed you so much…”

“I missed you too, honey…I’ll be there, now. You won’t be alone anymore.”

The two lovers hugged each other, forgetting everything around them. People were looking at them but they didn’t care. They waited for this moment for so long that nothing really mattered at this time. The orphanage group, Fujin, Raijin, Ma, Laguna, Kiros, Ward, Edea and Cid joined them. Nobody disturbed the two blonde, staying at distance to let them share this moment of happiness in privacy. Clad was in Ma’s arms and asked her who was the stranger with Zell. Laguna finally approached and welcomed the tall blonde.

“Welcome back, Seifer.”

“Thanks for your speech, Laguna. It means a lot to me.” Said Seifer holding his hand.

“I’m sorry for what everyone had done to your family…and to you.” Added Laguna. “But…what are you doing here? How did manage to recover your human form and…”

“All right…I think we have a lot of things to explain.” Replied Seifer. He moved closer and smiled at Clad. “Hello Clad. I’m Vivi. Nice to meet you.”

The little boy hugged Ma tightly and blushed. He was a bit scared of the stranger but Seifer understood and stroked his hair gently.

”I know I’m a stranger for you but we have all the time to know each other.” He turned his back and took Zell’s hand. “Let’s enjoy the party. We’ll talk about this later, fine?”

“Okay! Let’s celebrate!!” agreed Selphie.

Everyone rolled the eyes, because Selphie never had enough to have fun. She took every opportunity to party and sometimes the gang had some difficulties to follow her.

“Just a question before please: what the hell are you wearing this???” asked Zell.

“It’s their fault! I told them to stop at Winhill first to let me change my clothes but they refused and forced me to wear this!!” complained Seifer.

“What? It’s nice!” replied Selphie.

“Then, I’ll give it to you to extend your short dress!” joked the tall blonde.

“Hey!”

The reunion was a great moment for everyone. Winhill’s mayor went to talk to Seifer and was really happy to see him again. Some of villagers came with him and welcomed the tall blonde with joy. During all the day, Zell never left Seifer’s side. His lover was finally back. After the ceremony, Seifer had explained how he managed to recover his human form and the way he could control his power. The little Clad was a bit troubled about Seifer’s presence, so he never left Zell’s side, fixing the stranger with interrogation.

 

Later on the night, Seifer, Zell and their kids went to rest to their bedroom in the Presidential Palace in Esthar. Lulu and Clad had their own bedroom, directly adjacent to their parents’ room. After a shower, Seifer joined Zell in the bed. He lay down at his side, kissing him, caressing his cheek gently.

“You know, I almost forgot how gorgeous you are…” said Seifer smiling.

Zell held him tightly, burying his head on his chest. “I missed you so much…I kept hoping you would come back one day but…it was so hard sometimes…”

“I know, Zell. I’m sorry. I thought about you and Lulu all the time. But now, we’re finally together again.”

“You better not leave again or I won’t forgive you!”

They were interrupted by a knock. “Vivi? Zelly?”

“Lulu! Clad! What’s wrong?” asked Zell, turning around to see them.

“Can…we sleep with you two tonight? I’m so happy Vivi’s back that I’d like to stay with you…and Clad didn’t want to sleep alone.”

“Sure! Come in.” agreed Seifer.

The kids joined. Clad stayed near of Zell. Lulu went directly to Seifer, holding him with her little arms. The two blondes looked their kids and smiled, waiting for they fell asleep.

“Looks like we have to wait a little longer to have some privacy together…” whispered Zell.

“Yeah. Goodnight Honey.”

“Goodnight Seif…and welcome back.”

“Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you i was a romantic girl, guys!  
> (not a masochist one all the time! ^_^)


	7. Fear

On the morning, Seifer woke up first. He was looking at his little family with tenderness. Zell was hugging Clad in his arms and was facing him. Lulu was pressing her little body against Seifer’s strong chest when she opened her eyes slowly.

“Morning Vivi…” she whispered.

“Morning sweetie. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. I’m so happy you came back. I hope you’re not mad at me?”

“What should I be mad?”

“Because…I know you wanted to stay with Zelly yesterday.”

Seifer smiled. “Lu, don’t feel that way. It’s all thanks to you that I’m here today. We have all the time we want with Zell, don’t worry.” He replied kissing her forehead.

“Yes…I missed you so much.”

“Me too, angel.”

They looked each other keeping silent during several minutes when Clad woke up. He was still shy toward Seifer but not afraid since he knew Zell and Lulu trusted him.”You should go with the others to take your breakfast with Clad. I’ll join you after.”

“But why don’t you come with us?”

“I want to be there when Zell will be awake. I’ll see you later, okay?”

 “Okay.” She agreed and got up with Clad, silently to not wake up Zell.

When they left, Seifer came closer to his lover and looked at him sleeping peacefully during one hour. Zell seemed to be exhausted, but when he felt Seifer’s arms around him, he held him tightly, without opening his eyes. The tall blonde understood the tattooed man was awake.

“Morning love.”

The little blonde didn’t reply, faking to be asleep.

“Zell? I know you’re awake. Come on! The kids and the others are probably waiting for us.”

But he didn’t move. Seifer began to be pissed.

“Zell! Wake up now. It’s already late.”

“Don’t wanna…” murmured Zell softly against his chest. “Don’t wanna wake up…”

“You’re already up!”

“I don’t want to open my eyes.”

Seifer frowned. “Why?”

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because…you’re gonna disappear again if I open the eyes. You always do this…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Each time…I see you, I wake up and you disappear. But this time looks like so real…”

“It’s real. You’re not dreaming. I’m with you.”

“You said the same thing the last time…”

Seifer sighted. He realized how much Zell had suffered from his absence. He wanted to comfort him, to reassure him saying that he would never leave his side again anymore.

“Zell, I’m with you. I won’t leave, I promise. Please, open your eyes. I’ll be there. Trust me.”

After a short time of hesitation, Zell finally opened his eyes and faced Seifer. He felt relieved to see his green eyes and his comforting smile.

“See? I’m still here.”

“Yes…” smiled Zell, relieved.

“I’m sorry to have caused you so much pain.”

“It’s okay. This is the past. I just need more time to realize you returned.”

Seifer put his hand on Zell’s cheek and kissed him deeply. “Yes. After all, I’m yours.”

“Me either.”

 

* * *

 

Few days later, Zell and Seifer returned to Winhill with Lulu and Clad. It was the first time Seifer came back to his house with his family. The road had exhausted them and they went immediately to the bed. Even if Seifer really wanted to have sex with his lover, he didn’t do anything. In fact, he remembered what happened in the cavern before his mutation and he felt guilty. They didn’t talk about it but he guessed Zell wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t want to go too fast.

When Zell woke up, he was surprised to see he was alone in the bed. He began to panic and looked around him to see Seifer. He got up quickly.

_“Don’t tell me…it was just a dream?”_ he asked to himself.

He left the bedroom and ran in the stairs calling Seifer’s name when he arrived in the kitchen. His lover was with the kids, preparing the breakfast.

“Zell? What’s wrong?”

The little blonde was still in shock, breathless. Seifer approached and touched his face gently. He noticed Zell was panicked.

“Honey? Something happened? You’re trembling.”

“I thought…I thought you left when I didn’t see you in the bed with me. I’m sorry…”

Seifer sighted. “My love…I woke up before you and the kids needed to take their breakfast before going to school. You seemed to sleep so peacefully that I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“I know…I’m sorry. I overact all the time…”

“It’s okay.” Reassured Seifer kissing Zell tenderly. “It’s okay…” he hugged him against his torso. Zell seemed to be reassured but he couldn’t help to be afraid losing Seifer again. His lover understood and tried to comfort him the best way he could. “Wanna have your breakfast with us now?”

“Sure…” Zell released Seifer and went to kiss Lulu and Clad. “Morning you two. Did you sleep well?”

“Hi Zelly!” replied the two kids together.

The little family, reunited, took the time to enjoy this moment, laughing and talking. Clad was still a bit distant with Seifer since he didn’t know him but he had a strange way to fix him. He was fascinated by the tall blonde. He wasn’t scared at all, just shy. On the same time, Seifer was trying to get close to him. He didn’t know why but he felt something familiar in Clad. He couldn’t describe this feeling but there was something, for sure. After their breakfast, Seifer and Zell helped the kids to prepare their stuff before going to school. When Clad and Lulu left, saying goodbye to their parents, the two blondes stayed together, walking on the small village, holding hands. They went to the workshop.

“Whoa! There’s a long time you didn’t clean the place!” exclaimed Seifer, entering in the workshop for the first time in two years.

“Yeah…sorry. You know I’m a bit clumsy.” Replied Zell, embarrassed.

Seifer turned around and smiled, dragging his fiancé against him. “Hey…don’t apologize all the time, okay?”

“Hum…” agreed Zell hugging him.

“I should have waked you up this morning before leaving the bed. I didn’t want to fear you.”

“It’s my fault. I told you: I overact every time when I don’t see you by my side.”

“I know you had hard times. I wished you could have found someone else when I left but…”

“But what?”

“But…it’s selfish to say that but, I’m glad you didn’t and you waited for me.”

Zell kissed him passionately. “I even didn’t think about it.”

“Thanks.”

They stayed at the workshop all the day. Some of the villagers came to visit them and ask for help. Even Winhill’s mayor came. Seifer took this opportunity to ask him about Clad’s adoption and he proposed him to come at his office the next day, to let him the time to prepare the documents. At the end of the day, the two lovers left and were waiting for their kids in front of the school. Seifer seemed to be thoughtful.

“Seif?”

“Hum?”

“What are you thinking about? You don’t look fine…” said Zell, worried.

“I’m fine, it’s okay.”

“You’re lying.” Replied Zell. “Again…”

Seifer turned around and faced him. “I’m not lying!”

“Then, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong? You don’t trust me?”

“Of course I do! Why do you ask me that again?”

“Because I hate when you hide me something. You have no secret with Lulu because she can read your thoughts but you don’t tell me everything. It hurts…”

Seifer felt ashamed and took him in his arms. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I don’t wanna worry you for nothing and I know you’re gonna react badly if I tell you.”

“Let me decide it by myself. Tell me.”

“Alright…if you really want to know, I’d like to go to Esthar.”

“What for?”

“To talk…with Geyser.”

Zell blinked. “Wh…What? Why???”

“There’s something I need to ask him.”

“About your parents?”

“No…it’s about my power, and…Clad.”

“Clad??”

“Yes. You know, I’ve got a strange feeling when he’s with me and I think it’s the same thing for him. I can’t explain because I can’t understand myself why and what is this feeling but there’s something I can’t describe.”

“But what is the point with your power? And why Geyser would know about this?”

“I think he has the answers.”

“But why him? And why should you believe in him? Don’t you remember what he did to you?”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you what I was thinking! I know you would react this way!”

“How it could be different? After all what he did?”

“Don’t you think I’ve got more reasons than everybody to hate him? He killed my parents, he transformed me in a monster and I had to leave my family during two long fucking years!! Of course I hate him!!” replied Seifer angrily. Zell looked down, ashamed. When the tall blonde calmed down, he realized he shouldn’t have yelled at him this way. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t want to yell at you. “ he said kissing him.

“I know…” Zell looked at him. “But I don’t want to let you see him. He hurt you enough…”

Seifer stroked his hair gently, before kissing his forehead. “Have you realized how things happened to me strangely?”

The martial artist frowned. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

“I mean…the way I met Lulu and now Clad. It was as if it wasn’t a coincidence. I mean: how many chances did I have to meet Lulu in this world knowing that she was Celes’s daughter?”

“Okay…it’s strange but it was probably the fate.”

 “I don’t believe in fate, Zell.”

“Then, just a coincidence. But what about Clad?”

“I had the same feeling when I met Clad that when I saw Lulu for the first time. There’s something which is attracting me to them. I don’t think it was just a chance.”

“But you didn’t know Clad, or his mother…”

“Then, why do I have this feeling with him? Didn’t you notice the way he’s looking at me all the time?”

“He’s just a kid, Seifer. He needs more time to accept you. He did the same with me at the beginning.”

“You don’t understand, Zell. I know that. But, he’s not afraid of me anymore. It’s not the fear of the stranger he’s feeling. I can’t describe it but there’s something more…maybe I knew his mother in the past? Who knows?”

“Does her name recall you anything?”

 “No…”

The kids started to leave the small building. Seifer and Zell saw Lulu and Clad running toward them. Zell gave a quick glance to his lover.

“Okay…”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, if you want to talk with Geyser but I’m coming with you.”

Seifer smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thanks my love. You’re right: we shouldn’t have secret between us. I won’t hide anything from you anymore, promised.”

“Alright.”


	8. Connection

Two weeks later, the little family went to Esthar. They didn’t say anything to Quistis or to Laguna and pretended to visit them. It was a good thing for the kids because they could play with their friend Auron, Quistis and Laguna’s son. The Bgu was near of Centra at this time, so Squall and the rest of the gang decided to join Seifer and Zell few days later on the presidential Palace. Seifer and Zell wanted to take the boat, because Clad and Lulu were still afraid with the train, but Laguna insisted to send them the Ragnarok. It was the faster way to reach the Estharian continent. They arrived few hours later. Squall called Zell and told him they would be there the next day, until they finished their mission in Centra.

“Welcome guys!” said Laguna with joy when the little family arrived in the presidential palace. He was with Kiros, Ward, Quistis and Auron.

“Hi everyone. How are you?” asked Zell.

“Fine. Thanks for visiting us.” Replied Quistis, hugging Zell in her arms. “What about you?”

“Same for us! Hi Quis! Happy to see you again.” Replied Seifer, hugging her.

“Hello Seifer. You seem to be in good form but still too thin. I’m surprised you didn’t take more weight. I thought Zell forced you to eat…” she joked.

“I do but he never listens to me anyway!” complained the martial artist.

“I’m trying to restrain him or I will be horribly fat!” laughed Seifer.

 

During all the day, the group stayed together, talking about their children, the recent events and other things. Quistis was relieved to see Seifer healthy and Zell so happy. She never stopped worrying for her friends but now, everything was back to normal. At the middle of the afternoon, when the kids had a nap, Seifer asked something to Laguna in his office.

“Can I disturb you just a minute please?” asked the tall blonde.

“Seifer! Sure. Come in. What can I do for you?”

He entered and stayed on his feet. “I was wondering if I could talk with Geyser please?”

Laguna frowned. “Geyser?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, I won’t cause any troubles or hurt him. I just need to ask him something.”

“Is it related to your power?”

“Yes.”

“In that case, you can ask to Mister Valentine.”

“No offence but Mister Valentine isn’t enough competent to answer about this. I mean, he didn’t work on these researches.”

Laguna crossed his arms. “You’re right but…”

“You can come with me if you’re not at ease. Or you can ask Ward.”

“It isn’t the point. I’m not sure you should trust him.”

“I don’t trust him. I just need to confirm something.”

Laguna was thinking, stroking his long hair when he finally agreed. “Alright. I’m gonna come with you if it doesn’t bother you.”

“You’re welcome. Thanks.”

 

They left Laguna’s office with Kiros and joined Quistis and Zell who were waiting for them in the corridor. Zell already explained everything to Quistis so they were just waiting for Laguna’s answer. They went first to visit Mister Valentine. Seifer asked to talk with him alone and promised to Zell he would explain everything to him when they would meet Geyser. Zell understood and nodded without complaining even if he wondered why Seifer acted this way. He quitted his laboratory just few minutes later.

After that, they reached the prison. They sat in the waiting room. Zell was particularly nervous. But Seifer was strangely calm. He noticed Zell was uncomfortable so he grabbed his hand and smiled to him with kindness. It seemed to work because Zell relaxed after that. After a short time, a guard arrived in the room with Geyser. The ex-doctor was particularly surprised to see Seifer in front of him. 

“Oh! Mizter Almazy?! What a zurprize!” exclaimed Geyser.

Zell bit his lip and was about to insult him when Seifer squeezed his hand to cool him. He turned his attention to Geyser again.

“Sit down.” Ordered Laguna with authority.

He sat and fixed Seifer with insistence. “Zo? How did you manage to recover your human form? What can I do for you?”

“Karen Gilian.” Said Seifer. “Does it remind you something?”

Zell blinked. Why Geyser would know Clad’s mother?

“Why?” asked Geyser.

“Answer me.” Replied Seifer calmly.

“Why zhould I?”

“Because after all what you did to me, you owe me answers.”

Geyser smirked. “Yez. I remember her. Zhe waz working for me before we ztarted the project A. And zo?”

“I know that. Valentine told me she quitted. What I want to know is : what did you do to her?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I adopted her son Clad with Zell. I felt something with him, something similar that what I felt with Lulu the first time.”

“And what I’m zuppozed to know about thiz?”

“I became the monster that I’m because of you. You’re the one who can understand my power since you’re at his origin. Tell me why I’m feeling this toward Clad.”

Geyser kept silent during several minutes when Zell lost his patience and slammed the table with his wrists violently.

“DAMMIT FUCKING BASTARD! ANSWER US!!”

“Zell, calm down.” Said Seifer, grabbing his arm.

“Alright…I think I owe you thiz.” Agreed Geyser. “At the beginning, Mizz Gilian waz working with me. Zhe tought we were trying to cure people with new experimental treatmentz. But when zhe underztood what we really did, zhe gave her rezignation.”

“So, I met her in the past? I don’t really remember…what happened next?” asked Seifer.

“Zhe waz about to leave Ezthar, zo we uzed her az a guinea pig. Zhe waz a good zample becauze zhe waz healthy contrary to the other onez.”

“You performed the same experiences on her?”demanded Quistis.

“Yez.”

“But we didn’t see her name in your report. Besides, she was living in Timber when she met Zell.” Added Laguna.

“I didn’t mention her in the report. Zhe ezcaped with the complicity of other zcientistz. I didn’t know what happened to her after that.”

“What did you do to her? And to Celes?”

“You know it, Zeifer. You were there.”

“There’s something more. I need to know.”

Geyser smirked again. “They weren’t az ztrong az you. They couldn’t handle the experiencez. They didn’t receive the zame cells than you, zo I managed to make them more…reziztant.”

“How?”

“Uzing your own cells, Zeifer.”

Everyone blinked.

“You mean…you transplanted my own cells on Celes and Karen?” asked Seifer shocked.

“At the beginning, I thought to tranzplant adamantoize’z cellz on her but in your organizm, theze cellz already mutated and worked very well. Zo, after that, they began to endure the treatmentz much better.”

“So…Lulu and Clad have my DNA?”

“Their motherz gave them a part of their cellz, giving them birth, zo yez. I zuppoze that iz why you felt a connection with theze kidz. Your power draggz them to you becauze they have the zame abilities than you.”

“You mean…they’re gonna become like me?”

“I don’t know. Not necezzary. Your power zeemz to rezpond to your emotionz, zo I guezz it’z the zame thing for the children.”

“What does this shit mean?” demanded Zell, furious.

“When Zeifer iz calm, he only can uze a part of hiz power. But he becomez ztronger when hiz emotionz change: look what happened to him when he zaw you the lazt time in Trabia.”

Zell blushed and looked down, avoiding eye-contact with everyone. His lover just wanted to kill Geyser to have mentioned this event. He put his hand on Zell’s lap to comfort him and when he felt his fiancé seemed to feel better, he smiled and turned his attention on Geyser again.

“You’re crazy. Ultimecia was a real bitch but compared to you, she was almost an angel.” Said Seifer sadly. “Have you ever wondered how many lives you broke with your stupid experiences? And for what? Nothing…”

“You zhouln’t zay that Zeifer. Thankz to theze experiencez, you’re ztill alive, even if you had been zhot.”

 “I shouldn’t have become this monster…and I don’t want to see my kids become like me.”

“They are already like you, Zeifer. You can’t change anything.”

The tall blonde jumped on Geyser and grabbed his collar. “Bloody bastard!”

Laguna and Kiros stopped him. “Seifer! No!”

The blonde calmed down and apologized. “Sorry. I lost my cool.”

Zell took Seifer’s arm with a worried look. Seifer reassured him. “It’s okay. Let’s leave this place.”

Laguna called the guard and ordered to bring Geyser back in his cell. The group left and returned to the Palace. The kids were already up and were waiting for them. Seifer and Zell joined them in their room.

“Zelly? Vivi? Where were you?” asked Lulu.

The tall blonde approached and caressed her head gently, before turning his attention on Clad. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go for a ride together.”

“Yes!!!” replied Lulu with joy.

 

The family went on the city to visit the commercial center. Lulu and Clad were playing and running after Chickie. The two lovers were walking, holding hands. Zell noticed even if he was smiling, Seifer seemed to be really sad. He took the opportunity that the kids were a bit far away from them to talk with his lover.

“Don’t be like that. I hate when you make this face.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This sad expression on your face…you know I hate it.”

“I’m smiling.”

“Yes, but you look like you’re gonna cry.” He put his head on Seifer ‘s shoulder. “Please, never say that again.”

“What?”

“You’re not a monster. Stop saying that.”

“Zell…what if Lulu and Clad become like me?”

“Why should they?”

“Because they have my power. If it reacts to their emotions, they will mutate. I don’t want they have to live the same thing...” sighted Seifer. “Each second far away from you seemed to be a year. I thought I would never see you again until I could recover my human form…”

“But you’re here now. This is the most important thing.” Zell kissed him with kindness. “I felt the same when you weren’t by my side.” He took Seifer’s hands with his. “I love you with all of my heart, whatever you are, same for Lulu and Clad.”

“I love you. I still wonder how you could love me so deeply after all what happened…I hurt you so much.”

Zell rolled his eyes. “We already talked about it! Stop blaming yourself please.”

“You know…I went to Timber few times when I was going out with Linoa before the war. I never met Karen there…”

“Maybe you just don’t remember?”

“Maybe…so, nothing would have happened if I didn’t discover my power and my origins…”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Karen never felt the need to go to Winhill before. Lulu wasn’t a different child. She had just a good feeling with people. But after the war, I suppose my power started to work in me and, unintentionally, I woke up Lulu and Karen’s power on the same time. That’s why I dragged them to me…that’s why Lulu’s abilities grew up, and that’s why Karen wanted to visit Winhill.”

“You think…Karen felt your power?”

“I guess. I don’t think she really understood this feeling but she just needed to go there. She probably felt a connection with me and with Lulu…”

“But…if Karen had a part of your power, why did she die? I mean, she could have healed herself like you did, don’t you think?”

“People didn’t react the same way I did to Geyser’s experiences. Celes died too when she gave birth to Lulu and she had a part of my cells, like Karen. They weren’t resistant enough to survive and to heal themselves…I don’t know…”

“Let’s stop talking about this.” Zell grabbed Seifer’s hand and smiled. “We can’t go back in the past and change things. Our kids are…a bit different, but it doesn’t matter. We love them the way they are and we will help them to control their power in the future. If you managed to do it alone, there’s no reason they wouldn’t do it too.”

Seifer hugged him tightly, whispering to his ear. “I love you…”

“I know Seifer. Me too.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, Squall and the rest of the gang came to Esthar. It was the first time since the last ceremony when Seifer came back that everyone was reunited. It was a nice and happy day. Linoa brought Zack with her. Lulu, Clad and Auron were glad to see him and played all the day with him. At the evening, after the dinner, Seifer whispered something to Selphie. Zell frowned, wondering what he was saying to her, especially when the little brunette gave him a glance, smiling. He joined them.

“What kind of plot do you have in mind, you two?” asked the tattooed man.

“What?” demanded Selphie with an innocent look.

“I saw you talking together. Let me know too.”                                                                                   

Seifer began to laugh. “Don’t tell me…you are jealous??”

“No! Of course not! I’m just curious.”

“Of course, he’s jealous! He’s completely red!” joked Selphie.

“I’m not! Anyway, if you don’t have anything to hide, you can tell me, right?”

“Aahh…so you don’t trust us? Well, I’m gonna prove that your lover isn’t interested in me even if I know how much I am irresistible !” replied Selphie, grabbing Seifer’s mouth and kissing him deeply.

Everybody froze, especially Seifer who didn’t imagine this, when Zell burst in rage and separated them.

“HEY!! What the hell???” yelled the martial artist.

“See? He didn’t kiss me back so he’s not interested!” concluded Selphie, smiling.

“Who gave you the right to kiss MY lover?” complained Zell, yelling at her when he turned around to argue with Seifer. “What about you? Why didn’t you push her back?”

“What? I didn’t kiss her! She surprised me!” answered Seifer, innocently.

“You didn’t seem to mind!!”

“Zell, you’re completely silly! It was just a joke! Okay…a bad one, but only a joke!” said Seifer.

“Then, you’ll sleep on the couch tonight!” replied angrily Zell, leaving.

Seifer sighted and glared at Selphie. “Well done, Selphie! He’s mad at me now!”

“Don’t worry, he’s gonna calm down tomorrow.”

 

Seifer actually slept on the couch last night. Zell was so furious that he refused to let him sleep in the bed. When everyone was up, the next morning, except the kids, the atmosphere was a bit heavy. Zell was still angry. Seifer tried to talk with him but, he didn’t want to listen. Selphie began to feel guilty. Seifer couldn’t support it anymore and broke the silence during the breakfast.

“For God’s sake, Zell, stop being like that! You’re annoying everyone!!” complained the tall blonde.

“I’m so sorry!! I should be happy to see my lover kissing another person than me??”

“You overact, as always! It was just a joke!”

“So, I suppose if you have been in my place, you wouldn’t have reacted this way??”

“Of course I wouldn’t have! This is absurd! You’re acting like a teenager!”

Zell became really exasperated. “Then, let’s see what you two will say!!” He grabbed Irvine’s collar and kissed him deeply. The cowboy froze but didn’t push Zell back. At the beginning, there was just a small kiss; the two men were just pressing their lips. Seifer was a bit bothered by it and tried to fake. He was too proud to admit Zell was right.

“See? Selphie and I don’t mind at all because we know it’s a game.” Said Seifer.

But Zell didn’t release Irivne. On the contrary, he kissed him more passionately. Everybody was looking at the scene. Linoa and Quistis had to hide their mouth with their hand to laugh because they could see Seifer wasn’t at ease at all. Laguna and Squall were really embarrassed but didn’t say anything.

“Zell, you’re ridiculous. It doesn’t work, so stop wasting your time and your saliva.” Added Seifer.

The kiss was really ardent and the group could guess they were using the tongues. Selphie stayed calm, and even enjoyed the view, smiling.

“Okay, we understood. You can stop now.” Admitted Seifer.

But it wasn’t enough for Zell who grabbed Irvine’s hands and put it on his ass when Seifer lost his control and yelled, grabbing his lover by the arm forcing him to stop.

“THAT’S ENOUGH NOW!!”

Zell smirked and returned to his chair, licking his lips. “Fine!”

Irvine recovered his mind and made his hair again, smiling. “I never thought you kissed so well, Zell!” he said when Seifer glared at him with a furious look. The cowboy felt suddenly afraid and began to leave the room. “I should go to take some fresh air…”

“Yeah…you should!” confirmed Seifer, fixing him with rage.

“Alright! Let’s stop this little game, guys!” concluded Quistis. “Come back Irvine.”

Zell laughed, seeing his lover so jealous and grabbed his chin to kiss him. Even if Seifer was still upset, he smiled back and he laughed too. He admitted his defeat. He loved Zell too much to be angry against him.

* * *

 

The little family returned to Winhill two days later. Zell and Seifer still didn’t do anything. Something stopped them. They just couldn’t touch each other. The desire was still there but Seifer felt guilty after what happened to Zell and he didn’t know how to talk with him about this. On the other side, Zell felt disgusting. He knew he didn’t cheat on his lover but he couldn’t stop thinking he betrayed him when these bastards raped him. He was too ashamed to talk about this to Seifer. Besides, it was because of that Seifer mutated and had to leave during two long years. They needed more time.

Everybody went to bed. Zell was sleeping peacefully in his lover’s arms when Seifer opened the eyes and moved to turn the lights on. Zell woke up.

“Honey? What’s going on?”

“I think I heard Clad crying.” Replied Seifer.

“Ah? Are you sure? I didn’t hear anything…”

“I’m gonna take a look if everything is alright. Go back to sleep.” Said Seifer, kissing Zell’s forehead.

Zell nodded but stayed awake. Seifer entered in the kids’ room. Lulu was sleeping deeply, but Clad was hiding behind his blanket, trembling. Seifer approached and sat at his side.

“Clad? What’s wrong?” he whispered.

Zell joined him. The kid sat and fixed his parents without saying a word. He was crying. Zell went closer.

“What is it, Clad?” Asked the martial artist.

“Nigh..nightmare…” murmured Clad.

Seifer smiled and rubbed his back gently. He turned around to look at Zell. “It’s okay. I’m gonna stay with him. Go back to sleep.”

Zell understood Seifer was trying to get closer to Clad so he agreed and kissed his boy and lover before letting them alone.

“Would you like to drink a hot chocolate with me?” proposed Seifer.

The kid nodded. Seifer took the boy in his arms and left the room with him. He also took the blanket with him in the case of Clad would be cold. They went on the living room. Seifer prepared the hot chocolate and put a marshmallow inside before holding the cup to his son. The boy grabbed the cup and tasted the hot liquid. He played with the marshmallow with his finger, still keeping silent. Seifer enrolled his arm around his little shoulders.

“Are you still afraid of me?”

The boy drank, making a pause before answering.”I’m not afraid…”

“But you’re not at ease with me, right?”

Clad kept quiet. Seifer stroked his hair gently. “I understand. I’m still a stranger for you.”

“No…”

“Hum?”

“You…You’re not a stranger.” He said holding his cup.”Lulu talked to me about you often…and Zelly was sad when you weren’t with us.”

“I know…”

“But he’s happy now, like Lulu…so I’m happy too.”

Seifer kissed his head. “Clad, I love you as I love Zelly and Lulu. I wish one day you’ll look at me the same way as them.”

“I’m…it’s just..there’s something in you, something different that I don’t feel with Zelly.”

Seifer understood it was probably related to the fact that they shared the same DNA and the same power because of Geyser’s experiences.

“Don’t you feel it with Lulu too?”

“Yes…but it’s different with you. I’m…not scared but…it’s strange…”

“I know Clad. I feel the same…” he didn’t want to explain to him why he had these kind of feelings. He was too young to understand anyway. “But I’ll be there for you whenever you’ll need me. I’ll protect you.”

The child hugged the tall blonde in his arms. “Thanks Vivi…”

The next morning, when Zell woke up, he was alone in the bed. He got up and went to wake up Lulu. Clad wasn’t in his bed either. Lulu followed him and they went downstairs. When they reached the living room, they looked each other smiling; Seifer and Clad were asleep in the couch, cuddled against each other under the blanket. Zell grabbed his cell phone on the table and took a photo before sending it to his mother.

“They begin to get along, don’t you think Zelly?” asked Lulu, whispering.

“I guess you’re right. Let’s them sleep. We’re gonna prepare the breakfast during this time.”

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Weeks passed. The daily routine continued in Winhill. The kids went to school and the two lovers were working together in their workshop. It was a simple but a happy life. Seifer proposed to Zell to train the kids. He wanted to teach them how to use their powers. Besides, he wanted to be junctionned with them in the case of they would be in danger. Zell refused to be junctionned with him. He wasn’t at ease with this idea. Seifer understood but he wanted Lulu could summon him if she needed him. Clad didn’t seem to have any powers even if he had the same cells that Seifer and Lulu. Seifer didn’t want to push him. He was relieved to know that Lulu and Clad were pretty normal. He was afraid they could mutate like him.

 

On the afternoon, on Sunday, they went to the beach to fight some monsters. The creatures weren’t strong in this zone and it was a good training. Since Clad couldn’t use magic, Zell taught him how to fight. Lulu was fighting some monsters with Seifer. Since the tall blonde was junctionned with her, she could use his abilities. She also could use her magic spells without the junction but it was just simple spells like fire and ice. Seifer gave her his powerful spells since he could create it with his new abilities. Lulu’s power was essentially a sensitive one. She could read people’s emotions and thoughts when they were related to Seifer. Her power grew up since the last time she fought. She could also feel weaknesses and strengths of her enemies.

“Okay guys! I think it’s enough for today. Why don’t we go back to home?” proposed Zell.

“All right.” Agreed Seifer.

They were on the road to return to their home when a ruby dragon appeared.

“Whoa! What is he doing here?” yelled Zell.

“Be careful!” warned Seifer. He threw him several blizzards but the creature was really powerful. “Lu! Summon me!”

“Yes!” replied the little girl.

She crossed her hands and summoned Seifer. Since they were junctionned, the tall blonde wanted she used his power, been summoned. His appearance started to change in a giant creature. He didn’t change much since the last time they saw him fighting against Ultimecia. Clad was completely fascinated. It was the first time he saw Vivi this way. Zell was a bit scared but he trusted his lover.  The fight began between the two creatures. After few minutes, Seifer killed the dragoon but before dying the creature summoned a last magic spell. Seifer already took his human appearance again when he realized the creature threw a meteor spell on Clad and Zell.

“Zell! Clad! Watch out!!”

Zell took Clad in his arms to protect him. The spell hit them but didn’t hurt them. When they opened their eyes, Seifer had deployed his large wings to protect them and had received the damages of the spell at their place. He raised his head to check if they weren’t injured and fell on the ground, on his knees.

“Seifer!!! Are you alright?” asked Zell panicked.

“It’s…okay…I shouldn’t…have taken my human form so fast…are you hurt?”

“No, we’re okay.” Zell helped him to sit. “Hyne! Your back and your wings are bleeding!”

“It’s nothing…”

Clad started to cry and jumped in Seifer’s arms. “Don’t die Vivi!!!!”

Seifer smiled and caressed his hair. “Easy…easy Clad! I’m not going to die. It’s okay…”

“But…”

“I’m gonna heal myself. I just need more time. I promise I won’t die. Don’t be scared…all right?”

“Let me cure you Vivi!” said Lulu, casting a curaga.

“Thanks…”

After few minutes, Seifer recovered his strength. “I’m fine now. We can go back.”

Lulu was tired so Zell carried her on his back. Seifer took Clad in his arms. The two kids fell asleep. During their walk, Seifer noticed Zell’s bad mood.

“Zell? What’s wrong? You don’t look well.”

“You scared me…”

“Honey, i’m okay, don’t worry…”

“I know…but I’m still shocked. Your injuries were so big…”

“I endured worse. As if a ruby dragoon could kill me!” he said with irony to light the mood but Zell didn’t respond to his joke. “Zell, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry that much.”

“I’m sorry…” cried the martial artist.

Seifer stopped in the middle of the road and grabbed his chin to kiss him. “Don’t cry. I’ll never let you alone again, so don’t be afraid.”

“Yes…I’m a crybaby after all!” he said smiling.

“Yeah, but a lovely and cute one!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you liked this chapter, please tell me.  
> To answer to your previous question Bellissimo (Moonguardian): what happened in the train was actually an accident, but the fact Lulu, CLad and his mother were in the same place wasn't a chance. Staying with Seifer, Lulu's abilities changed and grew up. The same way, Karen felt more and more attracted with the time to Seifer and Lulu, that's why she decided to visit Winhill for her first travel with Clad. The important thing there isn't the way they met but the fact that Seifer, Karen, Clad and Lulu were intended to meet one day. Seifer went to Winhill without realizing at the beginning so he unintentionally ran to Lulu. She did the same when she escaped and got lost near of Winhill, and they finally met Karen and Clad in dramatical circumstances. 
> 
> And for the kiss between Selphie and Seifer, and with Zell and Irvine : it was because i remembered a funny scene in Desperate housewives so i wanted to use it.  
> bye!


	9. Union

It was a morning like the other ones. Seifer and Zell woke up in each other arms, still without have had sex the last night. They took a shower and went to wake up their children, before preparing the breakfast. Seifer had returned to his home with his family since two months. Raijin and Fujin came to visit them the last week with their boy. The little Seifer became really close to Lulu and Clad. The family didn’t stay a long time, just two days, which gave the opportunity to the tall blonde to meet his posse again. He confessed to Fujin he was particularly worried about Zell because even if he was by his side, the martial artist was really overprotective with him and he never let him go somewhere alone. It was as if he was scared that Seifer could disappear again. His fiancé tried to reassure him saying he was and would be there forever, but even if Zell always agreed, he couldn’t stop worrying for nothing. Fujin suggested him to let Zell deal with his fear alone; he had to understand by himself that he was wrong to act this way.

After the breakfast, the kids took their stuff to go to school. Zell noticed this morning that Lulu and Clad seemed to be a bit different; a bit too excited and joyful. They never stopped fixing Seifer with an accomplice smile, but when Zell asked them what was going on, they lied, pretending there was nothing. Actually, it hurt Zell. The tattooed man felt a bit left out. Lulu and Clad had the same DNA that Seifer so they were practically his biological children. Besides, they shared the same power…but Zell was different. It was a good thing at the first place, but in this situation, he felt lonely. He had the impression their kids preferred Seifer. He wasn’t jealous at all but he was feeling weaker and began to think he wasn’t a good father for them. He couldn’t protect them as Seifer did; he couldn’t understand their power and help them as Seifer did; he didn’t share their blood…as Seifer did. He was feeling useless…

Lulu had read his thoughts and felt hurt to know that Zell was thinking this way about himself. She went to talk with Seifer about this. She knew Zell would probably feel betrayed if she said she had read his thoughts but she couldn’t stay there without doing anything for him. She loved him the same way she loved Seifer. The tall blonde asked her to keep their conversation for her and he promised to do something…and he did. But for that, he needed help: the orphanage gang, Zell’s mother, Matron, Raijin and Fujin, Laguna, Quistis, Kiros, Ward and all the villagers of Winhill. He requested their help and everyone agreed with joy and pleasure.

 

 

Zell and Seifer brought their kids to the school and went to the workshop. Zell was repairing a car when the phone rang. Seifer took the call:

“Hello?”

_“Hi Seifer. I’m at Timber.”_

The tall blonde moved away and talked softer. Zell frowned wondering who it was when he came back.

“Something’s wrong?” asked Zell.

“It was your Ma. She’s at Timber.”

“Ma? What is she doing there?”

“She wanted to visit us but all the trains for Winhill had been cancelled, so she’s stuck at Timber. She can’t rent a car since there’s no vehicle available anymore for today and the taxi is too expensive to reach Winhill. You have to pick her there.”

“She didn’t tell me she was coming.” Said Zell washing his hands.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. It’s a good thing. Don’t you think? There’s a long time I didn’t see her and the kids will be happy.”

“Sure.” Zell grabbed the keys and turned around to face Seifer. “Are you ready to go?”

“Hum…but you don’t need me to go looking for your mother, right? You know the road.”

“But…I thought you were coming with me?”

“There would be no one in the village if I come with you. If there’s an emergency or something, they couldn’t ask to anyone.”

“But we can ask to the seeds. You know, the ones who come sometimes…”

“They are at the Garden and they come to Winhill only during their holidays.”

Zell looked down. He knew Seifer was right but he didn’t want to go by himself. Letting his lover alone during several hours was something impossible for him. “I’m sure everything would be alright, and if something in the village happens, Lulu could summon you and you will come back, right?” proposed Zell.

Seifer sighted. He approached, moving closer to his fiancé. ”I think it’s time to talk about this, Zell.”

“What?”

“You know perfectly what I mean. Since I came back, you’re not yourself. You’re acting strangely…and I don’t like it.”

“I’ve no idea what you are talking about…” lied the martial artist.

“This is not you.”

“Hum?”

“The Zell I know is confident and strong. He’s always joyful and he can give happiness to anyone just with his smile. He fears nothing and no one…this is not you.” Seifer grabbed his face with his hands. “You don’t fight anymore. You could have defeated this ruby dragoon by yourself the last time but you didn’t. You lost your confidence. You refused the junction with me but you used g-force before, more than once. I know you don’t want to use my strength to protect me. You’re afraid that I could be hurt during a fight…but you’re overprotecting me. You never let me do something alone.”

Zell blushed and bit his lip nervously.

“Don’t look down and keep your eyes on me, Zell.”

He did it, still embarrassed.

“Don’t misunderstand: I love to be with you all the time. If it was by pure pleasure, I wouldn’t mind, on the contrary, but I know it’s also and above all because you’re afraid that something could happen to me again and that I could disappear. I know it’s because you’re worried and I can’t support it.”

“I’m sorry…”

“And for God’s sake, stop apologizing all the time!” added Seifer annoyed.

The little blonde tried to restrain his tears but Seifer could see how it was hard for him. He wanted to make him stronger, to find the Zell he loved.

“Honey, look at me.” He stroked Zell’s cheeks gently. “I love you. There’s nothing strong enough in this world to take me away from you again. I want you to trust me. You’re a good fighter, better than I am. You’re a wonderful lover and the most loving father that Clad and Lulu could wish.”

“Seif…”

“Zell, listen: Lulu loved you at the first time she met you. She trusted you because she saw how much you loved me. Karen trusted you and asked you to take care of the most important person she had in her life: Clad.”

“But…”

“Your mother chose you at the orphanage because you were the cutest and the most adorable child. Your friends always treasured your friendship because you’re sincere and loyal…”

“Stop it…it’s embarrassing!” said Zell blushing.

“And I always liked you.”

“You…liked me?”

Seifer smiled. “At the Garden, even if I never showed it to you, I always had affection for you. You were just too cute.”

“R..really?”

“Yes. People love you because you’re amazing. There’s no bad in you, Zell. Your soul is pure and even if you’re not a child anymore, you’re still the same lovely and innocent boy. I could talk hours to tell how wonderful you are and how I’m lucky to have you by my side but it’s useless if you can’t believe in my words.”

“I believe in you.”

“Then, believe in yourself and stop running yourself down.”

Zell laughed. “But hearing you, I look like the perfect man.”

“I never said that.” Joked Seifer. “You talk in your sleep, you snore, you eat shit, you have bad taste choosing your clothes, you never know when to shut up, you’re clumsy, you never put enough salt in your cook…”  

“Okay, okay, I’ve got it!” said Zell rolling his eyes. Seifer took his fists.

“But you’re just the most incredible and adorable little blonde I ever met, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Me neither…”

“Zell, I really love you. Your happiness is all I want and I’ll do everything to give it to you. So please, try to relax and stop being so unconfident.”

“I used to tell you the same, remember?”

“But I listened to you. I turned the page after the war. I learned to be happy and to accept what I am…or at least I’m trying. I’m doing it for you and the kids because you made me realize life is worth living.”

“You’re right…”

Seifer smiled kissing him tenderly. “You’re feeling insecure for me and not for you. That’s what I hate the most because you put me in the first place without ever thinking about you first.”

“I don’t want people hurt you again.”

“Same for me. So, let me protect you. Let me help you.” He stroked his hair softly. “Timber isn’t far away. You’ll be back in few hours. I can stay alone during this time but if you’re not at ease, let me be junctionned with you. This way, you could summon me if there’s something…and I’ll be there for you. Okay?”

“Fine…”

“Thanks Love. You should go now. Your mother is waiting for you.”

“Hum…”

“Let me give you my power first.” Seifer closed his eyes and put his hand on Zell’s heart. The martial artist shivered with the new sensation. There was a long time since he hadn’t been junctionned and it was the first one with Seifer’s power.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good…I just need to be accustomed to your power but it’s alright.” Reassured Zell.

“Be careful on the road and call me if there’s anything wrong or if you wanna talk, ok?”

“Alright.” Zell kissed him, taking his keys and waved at his lover before leaving the small village with his car.

Seifer waited until he couldn’t see him anymore to take his cell phone. “Selphie? Zell left. You can come.”

_“Alright. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”_

 

* * *

 

On the road, Zell was thinking about his conversation with Seifer. He knew he was right: he completely lost his confidence after what happened in Trabia. It wasn’t just because of the rape, it was also because he was feeling responsible of Seifer’s state. It was his fault if he became a g-force. He came back and recovered his human form, yes, but it took him two long years.  Seifer and their children were different. Zell was just an ordinary human. He shook his head, trying to erase these bad thoughts from his mind. He continued to drive until he finally reached Timber. He was surprised to not see his mother in front of the entrance of the city, so he called her.

_“Hello?”_

“Ma? It’s me. I’m in Timber. Where are you?”

_“Hi honey. I’m at the hotel. Could you join me there please? I need to pack my bags.”_

“At the hotel? But why? I thought you just arrived?”

_“We’ll talk when you’ll be there. Join me. My room is the number 58.”_

“Okay. I’m coming.”

Zell parked the car at the entrance of the city and reached the hotel. He demanded the room of his mother and went there. He knocked at the door and entered.

“Ma?”

“Zell! Come in.”

“I’m so happy to see you but why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” he asked kissing her.

“I wanted to make a surprise to you but as I told to Seifer at the phone, all the trains and the bus for Winhill had been cancelled.”

“But why did you take a room? I thought you arrived today?”

“No, in fact, I arrived yesterday late on the night. The ticket train was less expansive for that day. I planned to reach Winhill today…”

“But why didn’t you call us yesterday?”

“It was already late in the night and the train arrived past midnight. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You never bother me. Thanks for coming. Seifer and the kids are gonna be happy to see you.”

“Me too.”

“Are you ready to go? Let me carry your baggage.”

“Hum…yes, but just a minute please. “ replied Miss Dincht, disappearing in the bathroom. She came back with a suit cover.

Zell frowned. “What is it?”

“Open up.”

He did it and recognized the uniform his grandfather used to wear when he was in the Army. “That’s…grandpa’s uniform?”

“Yes. I remember you always liked it, right?”

“Of course! But why did you bring it today?”

“I’d like you wear it.”

“What? Now?”

“Yes. Please.”

“But…why?” wondered Zell. “I can wear it when we’ll arrive at Winhill…”

“Yes, but I’d like to see you with it now, please. Besides, I want Seifer could see you in this uniform when we’ll be back…” she smiled at him. “Just for my pleasure, please?”

Zell sighted. “I can’t refuse you anything…”

“Thanks! Go and get changed.”

Zell was a bit surprise by the sudden request of his mother but he loved her so much that he couldn’t say no. Besides, it would be a good thing to be elegant for his fiancé. He wondered what Seifer would say when he would see him with it. When he finished, he went out of the bathroom and faced his mother. She also brought him a pair of black leather shoes.

“How am I?”

She put her hand on her mouth and smiled, almost crying. “Beautiful…”

“Thanks. Can we go now?”

“Sure.”

They left the city and took the car to come back to Winhill. Zell talked a lot during the road. He needed to evacuate his stress to have let Seifer alone for so long, but he was feeling better to have his mother with him. They talked about Lulu and Clad. The martial artist explained to her that Clad became really close to Seifer with the time and things were going pretty well with his lover…even if they still didn’t have sex. But he didn’t say a single word to his mother about this…even if she guessed it.

 

 

When they arrived, it was almost the middle of the afternoon. Zell noticed the Ragnarok at the entrance of the village.

“Oh! Quistis and Laguna came to visit us?” he said.

“Really?”

“Yes. This is the Ragnarok. Everyone is full of surprises today!”

Miss Dincht smiled. _“And it’s just the beginning…”_ she thought silently, looking at her son.

When they entered in the small village, Zell was surprised to see nobody in the streets. He parked the car in the public square and went outside. His mother joined him.

“I wonder why it’s so calm…” he said.

Miss Dincht checked her cell phone and smiled again. “Come with me.”

“Hum? But Seifer is probably waiting for us at the workshop and…”

“Trust me. Follow me.” She dragged him by the arm and walked fast toward the city hall.

“Ma? Where are we going? And why are you walking so fast?” asked Zell, more and more concerned.

She didn’t reply and continued to walk when they arrived at the city hall. The square behind the small building had a beautiful view on the flower fields and on the landscapes. But it wasn’t the view which surprised highly Zell but to see all the people there, waiting for him. All the villagers of Winhill, but also Cid, Matron, Xu, Nida, some of his friends at the Garden, Raijin and Fujin with their son Seifer, the Forest Owls, Quistis, Laguna, their son Auron, the orphanage gang, Linoa with her son Zack, and most important of all, Seifer with their children, Lulu and Clad. The square had been decorated with flowers and balloons everywhere. Everyone was wearing elegant clothes. Seifer was waiting alone, in front of the Mayor, with Raijin, Fujin, Laguna and Quistis by his side. Squall and Linoa were on the other side, near of Selphie and Irvine, waiting for Zell.

“Wh…What…” whispered Zell when her mother took his arm.

“We planned this day about weeks ago. Seifer asked us to help him to organize a ceremony. They needed time to prepare everything so that’s why I asked you to pick me at Timber. You had to be far away or the surprise would have been wasted.”

“You…knew?”

“Of course! Everyone was in the confidence.”

Lulu and Clad approached and hugged Zell in their arms. “Zelly!!!”

“You knew too, right?” asked Zell to his children.

“Yes!! We were so excited!!” exclaimed Lulu with her little bird on her shoulder. She was beautiful with a white dress covered by pink flowers.

“Can I have your ring Zelly, please?” asked Clad. He was so cute with his little costume.

“My ring?”

“Yes. I need it.”

Zell nodded and removed his ring before giving it to his son. Clad smiled and ran toward Seifer. He held it to Fujin and went behind his father, waiting for Zell.

“Hyne…I can’t believe you…” said Zell with tears in his voice.

“I’m so happy, darling. I couldn’t support to see you so sad…but now, you’re gonna marry. It’s all matter.”

“Ma…”

“Let’s join them. Your fiancé and your witnesses are waiting for us.”

“Yes…”

Zell’s mother held his son by the arm. Lulu took Zell’s other hand and walked with them, smiling happily. Everyone was looking for them. The martial artist could feel his heart beating faster in each step he made. Seifer was fixing him, smiling tenderly. He was beautiful. He was wearing the former cadet uniform he used to wear at the Garden. Actually, he never wore it when he was at the Bgu because he preferred to dress with his own clothes, even during the seed exam. But he decided to wear it for this special day. When they reached the group, Miss Dincht looked at Seifer.

“He’s yours now, Seifer. Take care of him.”

“I will. Thank you.” He replied.

Zell contained his tears and hugged his mother tightly before grabbing Seifer’s hand. He faced him with happiness and emotion.

“You’re beautiful.” Said Seifer.

“You too…” replied Zell. “Hyne…I can’t believe you did this…”

“I chose your witnesses at your place but I figured out you wouldn’t have chosen anyone else than the members of the gang…and since I couldn’t decide, I chose everyone. Is it alright for you?”

“Better than alright…”

“Fine. So let’s do it.” Concluded Seifer before facing with Zell the Mayor.

The man cleared his throat and began to speak: “My dear friends, welcome to everyone. We’re reunited here today to celebrate the union of two special persons: Zell Dincht and Seifer Almasy. A lot of things happened since the day these two men arrived in our village. But regardless to the suffering their love endured, they never gave up on each other. We’re happy to see them together reunited with their children and we hope that nothing will ever separate them again.”

The Mayor turned his attention on Seifer. “Mister Seifer Almasy, do you consent, in the presence of your witnesses, Raijin, Fujin, Laguna and Quistis, to take as your husband, Mister Zell Dincht, here present?”

Seifer made a pause and gave a glance to Zell, smiling before answering solemnly.  “I do.”

The Mayor fixed Zell and repeated his question. “Mister Zell Dincht, do you consent, in the presence of your witnesses, Squall, Linoa, Selphie and Irvine, to take as your husband, Mister Seifer Almasy, here present?”

“I do.” Said quickly the martial artist. His voice was trembling with the emotion. He just wanted to burst in tears and hug Seifer in his arms.

“Did the witnesses hear it?”

“Yes.” Answered the group.

“Now we'll have the exchange of rings.” Fujin approached first and held Zell’s ring to Seifer. The tall blonde turned around and grabbed it before putting it on Zell’s finger. Then, Squall moved closer and held Seifer’s ring to Zell. The martial artist had some difficulties to put it to Seifer’s finger because his hands were shaking.

“Want some help?” joked the tall blonde to help his lover relaxing.

“Not my fault if you have so big fingers…” replied Zell pissed when he realized what he said was a bit embarrassing and confusing. Seifer began to laugh and was about to answer with a lewd joke when Zell put his hand on his mouth to shut him up. “For Hyne’s sake…just shut up and don’t say it…”

Everyone laughed. Seifer had to bite his lips to not burst in laugh because Zell was really too cute when he was embarrassed…and he embarrassed himself alone at this time. The atmosphere became less tense and serious. Zell finally put the ring to Seifer’s finger.

“Now, I officially pronounce you joined in marriage. Ladies and gentleman, I’m honored to present you Mister and Mister Dincht-Almasy.” Concluded the Mayor.

People got up and applauded.

“You can kiss each other.”

Zell literally jumped in Seifer’s arms and kissed him passionately. Seifer grabbed his husband by the waist and kissed him back, carrying him. The two lovers were enjoying their happiness forgetting everything around them when people threw flower petals on them. They broke the kiss and smiled to each other, happily.

“We’re married…” whispered Zell.

“Yes. Happy?”

“Happier than never…I’m not dreaming, right?”

“No, silly! You’re not dreaming.” Laughed Seifer. He turned his attention on the group and all the people. “Okay, guys! Time to celebrate!!”

 

 

During all the day, people enjoyed the festivities. Selphie really worked hard with the rest of the gang, the villagers in Winhill and Seifer to make the best party. Guests and friends were sharing Seifer and Zell’s happiness, congratulating them. In the middle of the dinner, Irvine requested the silence, tapping his glass with his knife.

“May I have your attention, please?” Everybody looked at him, remaining quiet.

“Thank you. Alright, time has come for our little speech but I’ll leave it to Squall.” He pointed the tall brunette with his finger and asked him to come near of him to speak on the micro, but Squall hid his face with his hand, blushing, shaking his head with embarrassment. Zell and Seifer couldn’t restrain to laugh because they knew Squall wasn’t at ease in this kind of situation and Irvine clearly did it to piss him. Everyone insisted, calling his name to force him when he finally gave up and came at Irvine’s side. He glared at him with a furious look and grabbed the micro.

“You’re gonna pay for this later, cowboy…” warned Squall. “Alright…hum, sorry but I didn’t plan I had to speak so I think I’m gonna improvise something…” began to say the man, blushing. He tried to be serious and continued to talk. “First of all, I’d like to congratulate our new couple and wish them the best…” People applauded.

“Zell, Seifer: you two are my friends and I’m glad to see you so happy together…even if I have to admit I would never have believed you two, married, with two kids. For the people who know you, everyone will agree with me that it’s probably the most unexpected thing that we would have imagined for the both of you!!”

Some people laughed.

“But this is also definitely the best thing it could have happened to you. Seifer, thanks to you, Zell is bit less impulsive and he tries to think before running now…”

Zell made an annoyed face and complained, muttering. Seifer whispered something to his ear and kissed his cheek. People laughed again, looking at the little blonde with tenderness.

“And Zell, you helped Seifer, breaking his shell of arrogance and giving him a loving family and a home. “

People applauded. The new couple smiled to each other, holding hands.

“You never gave up on him, even if everyone lost hope to see Seifer come back and…” Squall made a pause, obviously troubled before finishing his sentence: “…all of us are relieved because now you're happy. We were really worried to see you so depressed. We felt so helpless…” Squall seemed to suffer to remember this painful time. “Now, let’s wish you happiness and health.” He concluded.

People got up and applauded, smiling and waving at the two men. Seifer and Zell got up too and thanked Squall and everyone for everything. They enjoyed the rest of the day, dancing and eating. The kids were playing together and all the guests shared Seifer and Zell’s happiness. The small town was festive.

 At the end of the day, people began to leave. Zell turned his attention to his mother and his friends when he saw she was talking with Laguna and Quistis.

“Ma, guys! Are you gonna come to home with us? We can have a last drink.”

“No honey, we have to go back. Squall and the others work tomorrow. Laguna and Quistis are gonna depose me to Balamb.” Replied his mother.

“What? You’re not staying with us? But the kids are gonna be disappointed…”

Lulu and Clad joined them. “We’re leaving with Ma to Balamb!” explained Lulu.

“What? But…”

Miss Dincht approached and dragged her son a bit far away from the group to have some privacy. “It’s your wedding night, darling. I think you and Seifer need some intimacy, don’t you think?”

Zell blushed. “Yes, but…”

“It’s okay. You can join us later. Alright?”

“Fine. Thanks…”

Seifer was saying goodbye to the orphanage group, thanking Squall for his speech and the others for their help, especially Selphie. He hugged Matron in his arms.

“Thanks for coming, Matron.”

“I’m glad for you. Come to visit us more often please.”

“Okay.”

Quistis approached and kissed Seifer on the cheek. “I hope everything will be alright tonight. You know, Zell never talked about this and…”

“I know Quistis. I’ll be kind with him, don’t worry. I’ll wait until he’s ready.”

“I have no doubt about it. Take care.”

“Thanks. Have a nice trip.”

Seifer and Zell turned their attention on their kids. “Be nice with Ma, okay guys?”

“Promised!”

 

 

Then, everyone left and the two men returned together in their home. Zell was the first to enter.

“Whoa! The house seems so empty without the children…”

“Yes.” Said Seifer closing the door behind him. “Wanna take a bath with me?”

“Sure…” nodded Zell, blushing. He really seemed to be uncomfortable. He felt guilty to be like this. After all, he didn’t have to be ashamed in front of Seifer. He was his husband now. The other man noticed his embarrassment. He planned to talk seriously with Zell.

They reached the bathroom. When the bath was ready, Seifer entered first, waiting for Zell. The martial artist stripped, avoiding eye-contact with his husband and joined him, pressing his back against Seifer’s chest.

“It was a nice day. I can’t believe you did this…” said Zell.

“What? You thought I couldn’t organize it?” asked Seifer a bit hurt.

“No! It’s not what I mean! But you should have told me. I’ve done nothing. I could have helped you.”

“Selphie and everyone helped me a lot. Everyone was really glad to do it…and I wanted to surprise you.”

“You did!” Zell turned his head and kissed him quickly.

They talked about everything, still enjoying their bath, but without having sexual intentions. It was just a peaceful moment. Seifer wanted to put Zell at ease because he had a lot of things to say.

“I’m a bit cold. What about you?” asked Seifer.

“Me too.”

Seifer went out of water first and put his bathrobe, before holding Zell’s to him. Zell dressed quickly, still discomfited to appear naked in front of his lover. Seifer grabbed another towel to dry his hair. Zell left the bathroom and went to their room. He sat on their bed, clenching his fists, trying to relax.

 _“Okay! There’s no need to be so scared. It’s Seifer! My lover, my husband. It’s not our first time…”_ thought Zell. _“But we didn’t do it since he came back. I wonder what he’s thinking about me…maybe he finds me disgusting?”_ He shook his head.

 _“No, he wouldn’t think this way about me. I mean, he married me. It’s not just for the kids, I know he loves me…”_ But he couldn’t stop feeling afraid.

 _“Why should I do? I don’t think I’m ready yet…but if I refuse, he’s gonna feel guilty or disappointed. I’m so scared…”_ he suddenly felt a gentle touch on his cheek. He was so self-absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Seifer joined him in the room.

“Honey?”

“Yes?” blinked the little blonde.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes, yes…I was just thinking. I’m fine.” Zell was completely red. His hands were shaking hard. Seifer sat at his left and enrolled his arm around his shoulder.

“I think we need to talk.”

Zell turned around and sat on Seifer’s tights, kissing him. “Don’t you think we have better things to do? It’s our wedding night, after all.”

But the other man wasn’t convinced at all by Zell’s seduction. He knew he was forcing himself. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Forcing yourself this way. You’re clearly freaking out. Your body is tense and your hands are shaking.”

“No…it’s not true…” lied Zell.

“Look at me.”

Zell lifted his eyes and faced his lover. Seifer was caressing his cheek. “We don’t have to do this tonight, so relax.”

“Don’t…don’t you want me?”

“Of course I do. But I want to be sure you’re ready for this and, it’s obvious you’re not.”

“I am. I wanna do it…”

Seifer took Zell’s hands and kissed his palms. “Talk to me.”

“About…what?”

“About your desires, about your fears and…about what happened in the cavern. Talk to me.”

Zell shivered thinking about this. It wasn’t as if he forgot but he never talked with anyone about this and he really didn’t want to, especially with Seifer.

“Seif…I’m okay…”

“Don’t you think I can understand better than anyone what you can feel?”

“Yes…”

“Look at me.” Seifer was calm, even if talking about these events was hard for him either. “I know this feeling. You remember how I was when we were in Deep Sea center?”

“You’re stronger than me. You suffered more than me and you never complained. You dealt with your pain alone even if it happened to you so many times…”

“You’re wrong Zell. I just fake better than you. You’re expressive, that’s why your pain is more noticeable. But it doesn’t mean that I handle it better than you. Lulu will tell you.”

“It’s not similar. It happened to me just once…”

“What does it change? It’s not a contest to know which one of us had suffered the most!”

“I know…but I’ve no right to complain compared to you.”

“Zell, I’m not as strong as you think.” Seifer closed his eyes, trying to remain calm. “I cried…I cried every night since the end of the war, thinking about what they did to me. I started to develop a mysophobia washing my hands and my body all the time. I couldn’t erase the feeling of being dirty and soiled. Sometimes, I even ripped my own skin thinking I could clean myself this way…”

“Seifer…stop it…” Zell shook his head. He didn’t want to hear these things. But the other man continued.

“I couldn’t eat anymore. I puked every time I was thinking about this. I saw these scenes all the time when they forced me to suck their dicks, their semen on my body. Each time I saw a monster, I remembered Kronos raping me…”

“Enough please…”

“Sometimes, I hurt myself to make me forget the shame and these horrible memories. I believed if I felt physical pain, I couldn’t think about this. I couldn’t face my reflection on a mirror again, without talking about touching myself. I stayed practically one year without masturbating. I was forced to do it because it started to be painful and I felt disgusting when I did…”

Zell put his hands on the ears to stop listening what Seifer said. It was too painful. His husband grabbed it and forced him to hear him.

“I thought about suicide more than once, not just because of the rapes, but also because everybody hated me. I wanted somebody needed me, loved me. I felt Raijin and Fujin became more distant every day until they finally left. I was homeless…if I haven’t met Lulu, I would have killed myself because I couldn’t stand it anymore…”

“Seif…”

 “But even if she gave me a reason to live, she couldn’t help me with this. I waited she felt asleep every night to cry, but she kept coming to comfort me…”

“I know. She told me she came to sleep with you to help you. She thought if she was by your side, you wouldn’t think about it.”

They smiled thinking about their wonderful daughter. “She’s so cute…”

“Yes…”

“As I told you, she helped me a lot. She saved me. But you’re the one who healed this part of me.”

“I did nothing…”

“Yes you did. You loved me despite of our past and you gave me a chance to love you back. You made me feel desired. I found pleasure again with you.” Seifer made a pause, looking down sadly. “I prayed you would have never lived it too. I should have protected you…but I wasn’t there.”

“Hey! It’s not your fault!! I should have been more careful and…”

“Yes it’s my fault and you know it. Would it have happened if we haven’t had been together?”

“Don’t think that…”

“See, you even don’t blame me for this.”

“How I could I blame you? I love you.”

“But you’re blaming yourself.”

“What?”

“I know you feel guilty because…you think I find you disgusting.”

“Seif…please…”

“Zell, you didn’t betray me. You didn’t cheat on me, so let me help you. I love you. I love you with all of my heart.”

“I love you too.” Zell felt the tears coming to his eyes. “I know I’m weak…but I felt I was about to die. I thought I would never see you again with Lulu and…”

Seifer held him tightly against his chest to comfort him, still listening to his lover.

“I couldn’t fight back. They casted alteration spells on me and I was tied…”

“I know Zell.”

“But…as long as you were safe and far away with Lulu, I felt relieved…and you appeared. I was so ashamed…and when they shot you, I thought…I thought you died…and…”

“Shhh…it’s okay.”

“I know you’re not them but…I’m scared…I’m…”

“I will erase your pain. It will take the time that it will be necessary. I’ll wait for you until you won’t be afraid anymore.”

“But…what if I can’t…”

“You will. You won’t forget but you’ll manage to live with it. I know it’s hard, but I’ll be here. Every time you’ll want to talk, I’ll listen to you. Every time you’ll cry, I’ll comfort you. So, please don’t hold on. Let me help you.”

“You already help me…” smiled Zell. He finally stopped crying and met Seifer’s eyes. “Clean me...“

“Huh?”

“Do me. Your hands, your scent, your taste…I wanna feel every part of you. Erase the marks they made on my body. Just…just replace it by yours.”

“Are you sure it is what you want? I can wait and…” But Zell kissed him to shut him up.

“No. We have waited long enough. Seifer, touch me…please.”

Seifer stared at Zell to check if he was really okay. Something changed in his eyes. He smiled, kissing him tenderly.

“You’re back.” said Seifer happily.

“Then, what are you waiting for?” replied Zell seductively.

The two lovers kissed, before falling on their back. Seifer was on the top of Zell and opened slowly his bathrobe, revealing his naked and gorgeous body.

“Beautiful…” whispered Seifer fixing him with desire. He let his hands running along his muscular torso. His skin was cold, shivering under his touch. He couldn’t resist anymore and kissed his neck, licking his delicious flesh. “Tasty as always…”

“Teasing as always…” replied Zell laughing.

Seifer put his hand on Zell’s hips before licking and biting gently his left nipple. He let his tongue moving down to his belly button until he reached his pubic hair. He spread his legs. He felt glad to see Zell was reacting pretty well to his touch. He was already hard like a rock.

“Hey Seif…it’s unfair. You’re still fully dressed…” complained Zell.

“You’re right.” Seifer lifted his body and opened his bathrobe. Zell raised, sitting, to depose few kisses on his stomach, still fixing him in the eyes. Seifer touched Zell’s hair and push him on his back again. His hands returned at their previous spot and grabbed Zell’s organ. One of his hands was caressing his testicles when the other was stroking his hard penis. Then, Seifer opened his mouth and swallowed his cock, moving his mouth up and down.

“Aaahhh…yes! Seif…” moaned Zell, scratching Seifer’s hair with his nails. “More…more…”

On the same time, Seifer let some of his saliva pouring along Zell’s genitals to reach his entrance. He rubbed it softly with his fingers still sucking him. Zell was struggling. The pleasure was so intense that it was hard to contain himself anymore.

“Seif…com..ing…” he hissed when he released in his mouth. “Sorry…”

“Good…”

“Huh?”

“I almost forgot you tasted so good.” said Seifer licking his lips and swallowing the semen.

“Can..I do it for you?”

“Sure.” Seifer went above his head but lied down on the opposite side to suck Zell again. The little blonde didn’t waste any time and began to suck Seifer with hunger. The other man was busy to tease him down there, spreading his legs wider to have a better access to his entrance. He licked the small hole and pushed his tongue inside to wet it before fingering him. Zell’s body tensed when he felt the intrusion, even if it didn’t hurt. Seifer continued to stimulate him, adding two other fingers when he felt he couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Honey? Can I?”

“Yes…” whispered Zell who released him.

Seifer returned in his previous position, kneeling between Zell’s legs and prepared to enter him. He gave a last glance to his lover to check if he still wanted it. Zell nodded, silently, spreading his legs wider for him when his husband thrust him slowly.

“You’re alright?”

“Of course…don’t stop. It’s good…”

Seifer continued to push his cock deeper inside of him when he completely thrust in all the way. Zell gasped because of the sensation but without pain. They made a pause, breathing fast. The petite blonde looked between his legs and smiled, relieved.

“What?” demanded Seifer.

“You’re…you’re inside of me…” He laughed. “Welcome back…”

Seifer chuckled, kissing him tenderly when their eyes met again. “Can I move now?”

“Please!”

At the beginning, the two of them were a bit hesitant. There was a long time since they didn’t touch each other. But after few minutes, all their reflexes came back and they found the perfect rhythm. Zell was moving his hips, still asking more to his lover.

“More! More…harder!!!”

“Don’t be so impatient, honey…” told the tall blonde moving faster.

“Seif!! Good! It’s so good…”

Seifer flinched and went slower. “Zell! Don’t squeeze your ass that much, it hurts!”

“I can’t…I can’t control myself!!” He scratched Seifer’s back with his nails which made him gasp in surprise.

“Are you trying to kill me? It fucking hurts!!” complained Seifer. He bit Zell’s neck in return. “Bad little kitten!!”

“Come…make me come…please!!”

“I’m close…”

“Inside…please…”

Seifer moved faster and pushed deeper his organ inside before reaching the orgasm on the same time as Zell. “Aaaaahhh!!! Zell!!”

“Coming….Coming!! Seif!! Aaaah!!! So gooooodd…” moaned loudly Zell coming, his sperm gushing on his stomach. “Ah…I love you…”

“Me too. I love you.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Zell woke up first. He lifted slowly his head to see his husband sleeping peacefully. He was cuddled in his arms, his head on Seifer’s chest. He could hear his heartbeat. Zell smiled happily. He was contemplating his ring on his left hand when Seifer moved in his sleep, whispering.

“Morning love.” Murmured Zell to his ear.

“Morning Mister Dincht-Almasy…”

Zell grinned and couldn’t resist kissing him. “Sounds good huh? Mister and Mister Dincht-Almasy!”

“Yes…so? What my beloved husband would like to do today?”

“Nothing. Just staying in your arms is enough.”

“Well, we can do that. I asked to the seeds to stay at Winhill for a week, during our honeymoon, so where do you want to go?”

“Honeymoon?” frowned Zell.

“What is it so surprising? Don’t we have the right to get one?”

“Of course we have. I don’t know where to go. What about you?”

“Maybe we can pick the kids to Balamb tomorrow and take the boat to go somewhere? I’d like to return to Dollet and to visit Horizon.” Proposed Seifer.

“Fine for me. Maybe we could also visit Raijin and Fujin, since Timber isn’t far away from Dollet?”

“Good, but now…” Seifer pushed Zell on his back and attacked his neck. “Time for breakfast!”

“Breakfast? What kind of breakfast you mean?”

“Hummm…dunno. I’d like to cover your whole body with whipped-cream and lick it. That would be nice, don’t you think? Or with honey? Oh yes!! Honey and whipped-cream!!”

“You know, you’ve got strange fantasies!”


	10. Happiness is ephemeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> First of all, i'd like to apologize in advance for this chapter, especially to Moonguardian...  
> Second, i know you're gonna think i'm a cruel person but for the people who are still interested to read this story, please don't drop it...  
> and third...sorry again.  
> See you ^_^

The two lovers took the first train for Balamb two days after their weeding. They stayed the whole day with Ma before leaving for Dollet. They took the boat early in the morning. Zell made a reservation at the hotel for the little family. They really had a great time in the small city, going to the sea, making shopping or having dinner at the restaurant. They even bought some souvenirs for Ma. They stayed three days in Dollet then they visited Raijin and Fujin at Timber the last day, before taking the boat for Horizon. It would had been faster to take the train but Clad and Lulu liked so much the sea that their parents couldn’t refuse anything to them. They passed the rest of their honeymoon there, fishing and swinging. Zell even met a former acquaintance in the city: the old fisherman. He met them the first time with Squall and the rest of the gang when they arrived the first day.

Seifer and Zell became closer and talked more. The way they made love changed. There was no fear, no shame, no pain anymore. Seifer helped Zell a lot, making him talk and putting him at ease. Zell found his confidence again slowly.

 

* * *

 

Two months later.

It was a peaceful day in Winhill. The kids and their parents were at home and just finished their lunch when someone knocked at the door. Seifer looked at Zell, frowning.

“Are you waiting for someone?”

“Don’t think so…”

“Ma?”

“No. I called her yesterday. She said she will visit her sister in Horizon.”

Seifer shrugged and went to open the door. “Oh! Squall! How are you?”

“Hi guys! Did I interrupt something?”

“No, come in!”

Zell, Lulu and Clad went to welcome him. “Hi Squally!”

“Hi man. Nice to see you. How did you come here? The others aren’t with you?”

“No I came alone. The Garden deposed me before leaving for Deling city.” He went in the living room and sat. “Actually, I’ve got something to ask to you, guys…”

“I figured out…” said Seifer smirking. “…or you would never have come alone. So?”

“Hum…well, I need to go to the island closest to hell. I’m looking for some rare items to repair my Lionheart but the Bgu can’t land on the island and I can’t ask the Ragnarok. Laguna and Quistis went to Shumi village this morning so…”

“So?” asked Zell.

“Since Seifer can fly, I thought he could bring me there?”

“Don’t you have any g-force?” demanded Zell.

“I’ve got Shiva, Taurus and Tomberry. I gave the other ones to Irvine and Selphie. They are in charge of the seed exam today and we need to give g-forces to the cadets for their mission.”

“But…” Zell seemed to be uncomfortable with this idea. “The island closest to hell has powerful monsters. It’s dangerous…”

Seifer got up. “Fine for me. It could be a good training after all.” He went to his husband to reassure him. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t be alone and I promise to leave immediately if it becomes too dangerous, alright?”

“Hum…you would go anyway. It’s useless trying to convince you.” Replied Zell. “But you’ll be careful, okay?”

“Always!”

Squall smiled, staring at the two lovers. “I’m sorry to bother you but my sword really needs to be restored.”

“Make sure to come back in one piece.”

“Of course! Let’s go Squally-boy!”

Squall rolled his eyes but followed Seifer. They went outside. “I’ll take my g-force form outside of the village. I don’t wanna scare people there.”

“Sure.”

“See you later, honey. Clad, Lulu, be nice, okay guys?”

“Yes!!”

“Take care of you guys.” Zell kissed Seifer and winked at him.

 

 

Squall and Seifer left the city. When they were on the land, Seifer took off his shirt, staying half-naked, and his shoes. Squall frowned.

“Why are you stripping?”

“I would rip my clothes if I transform without taking off.” Seifer closed his eyes to change his form. His human appearance disappeared to let place to a big creature with large wings. The last time Squall saw Seifer’s form was during their last battle against Ultimecia. He noticed the creature was taller and bigger than the last time. There were new black marks on his chest. His horns were larger and his claws longer. But strangely, the lower part of his body practically kept a human form because he conserved his pants. But his webbed feet were also larger than the last time.

Seifer lowered his body to let Squall climbing on his back and they left the land, flying toward the island. They reached it few hours later. Seifer took his human appearance back.

 

“You know, you’re pretty heavy Leonhart!”

“Shut up!” Squall took his gunblade and looked around him.

“So? What are we looking for?”  

“Hexadragon, mostly.”

“Okay!” Seifer was excited. He took Hyperion with him so he was impatient to fight. Squall noticed it.

“Why are you so eager?”

“Well, most of the time, I fight weak monsters. It will be good training.”

“Why don’t you go with Zell to train in other areas since you can fly?”

“Because the kids are too young to fight powerful monsters. Besides, Zell…isn’t really at ease fighting with me now.”

“Why?”

“He’s afraid that something could happen to me. He doesn’t like when I go far away alone. I suppose he’s gonna hate you for this!” said Seifer laughing.

“Do you think so? I’m sorry; I didn’t want to cause trouble between you two.”

“It’s okay. I talked with him lately. He agrees with me, so I’m trying to escape from his radar sometimes. He needs to find his confidence again, and I want he trusts me. So, it’s a good thing you asked me to bring you there.”

“I see…” Squall seemed to be reassured, but still uncomfortable. He was worried for Zell. “How is he?”

“Hum?”

“I mean…it’s not my business, I know, but I was worried for him during your absence about…”

“About his mental state after what happened in Trabia?”

“Yes. I shouldn’t ask you this, sorry…”

“No it’s fine. I’m thankful you care about it. To tell you the truth, he’s better than the first day when I came back, but he still keeps a lot of things for him. It’s hard to make him talk. He opens himself slowly, so I suppose it’s gonna take more time.” He gave a quick glance to Squall. “We finally did it just after the wedding. He was scared at the beginning but I reassured him explaining that we didn’t need to do it that night, so we talked, and he became more confident. I know he’s not completely at ease when we’re making love but he’s better.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

“Enough talking! Let’s go back to business!”

 

* * *

 

Zell was cooking with Lulu and Clad. He decided to make Seifer’s favorite meal for tonight. He wondered if Squall would join them. He hoped so. Since the weeding, they didn’t see each other a lot, but they called often. Zell really treasured his friendship with him and the other members of the orphanage gang. He knew he could count on them, even if he wasn’t alone anymore. Now, Seifer was back and the family was complete again.

“Zelly?” asked Lulu.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Do you think Squally will stay with us tonight?”

“I don’t know. He told us the Garden was near of Deling city. Maybe the others will join us tonight? I’ll call Selphie later.”

“Great!” She smiled happily. “Can I help you?”

“I wanna help too!” added Clad.

“Alright. Bring me the chocolate powder on the cupboard, please.” He requested to Clad. “Lulu? Can you take the eggs in the fridge and break it in a salad bowl?”

“Sure! How many?”

“Three. I think it will be enough.”

They finished preparing a chocolate cake with hazelnuts; a beef roast with garlic mashed potatoes. They let the dinner simmer slowly and returned in the living room.  Zell was thinking about Seifer but he was relieved to know that he wasn’t alone. Squall was with him, so nothing could happen. They were playing cards when someone knocked at the door.

“Oh? Maybe Irvine and Selphie?” wondered Zell, getting up.

He walked toward the door when Lulu felt something was wrong. She couldn’t describe this but she had a bad feeling, so she followed Zell. Opening the door, they saw a stranger.

“Can I help you?” asked Zell.

“Are you Zell…Almasy?” demanded the stranger.

“Yes. What I can I do for you?”

“I just came to present my condolences.”

Zell blinked. “What? Who…Who is dead??” he asked, panicked.

“You.” Then, the stranger moved his arm which was hidden behind his back during their brief conversation. Zell and Lulu never had the time to realize what happened. They hadn’t been fast enough to react.

 

* * *

 

After several minutes of fights, Squall found the items he was looking for but Seifer insisted to stay a bit longer to train. Squall also missed training so they stayed.

“Fuck! This damn malboro is hard to kill!!” complained Seifer.

“Yes! I’d like to have Quistis’s limit break now!”

“Which one?”

“Degenerator. This bastard never stops casting pain.”

They finally defeated it. They sat on the grass to recover. They were breathing heavily but they weren’t injured or something, just tired. Seifer was about to talk when he felt something strange. He put his hand on his heart.

“Seifer? What’s wrong?”

The blonde closed his eyes, trying to concentrate but he failed. “Damn! I’m not junctionned to anyone!”

“What?”

“Usually, when I leave Zell and the kids alone, I stay junctionned with one of them. Most of the time, it’s with Lulu, but I forgot when we left Winhill.”

“It’s okay. I don’t think they’re in trouble there.”

“No…”

“What?”

“I feel…I feel something strange. I’ve a bad feeling.” He replied worried.

“Can’t you call Lulu?”

“Not when I’m not junctionned with her…Something is wrong…” he continued to say. “We should go back.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

They got up immediately. Seifer was about to transform when he stopped, putting his hands on his ears. He could hear Lulu’s voice on his head.

“Lulu? Is that you?”

_“Vi…v..i…com…”_

“Lulu? What’s going on? Tell me!!” yelled out loud Seifer.

_“Co…m..e b..ac..k..Viv..i..pl..ea..”_

“Lulu? Lulu??” shouted Seifer but she lost her. He tried to call again, in vain.

“What was it? I thought you couldn’t communicate with her if you two weren’t junctionned?”

“I thought so…but she managed to do it. Something happened! We have to go back! Hurry!!!”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know! Her voice was so weak and she asked me to come back…” Seifer didn’t waste any more time and transformed again. Squall went on his back and they left the island quickly.

 

* * *

 

The seed exam ended. The candidates were welcomed by the Cid and their instructors, Selphie, Irvine and Linoa when the secretary entered in the office.

“I’m sorry to disturb the ceremony, Headmaster, but this is an emergency.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Winhill’s Mayor is on the phone. He said he couldn’t wait.”

Cid stared at Irvine, Selphie and Linoa, surprised and decided to take the call. He grabbed the phone and answered, letting the new seeds waiting.

“Hello?”

_“Headmaster Kramer? Mayor Mire’s speaking. We couldn’t find Vivi…something terrible happened!”_

“But Zell isn’t in Winhill, right now? What’s wrong?”

_“Mister Kramer…it’s actually about Zell…He…he had been shot with the kids…”_

“WHAT???”

_“We heard shots and when we arrived at their home…we found Zell, Clad and Lulu…dead…We don’t know what to do and we can’t find Vivi anywhere. Some villagers saw him leaving the village with Mister Leonhart earlier…”_

“Oh my God…tell me…tell me it isn’t true…”

_“I’d like to say it…I’d like it so much…can you come to Winhill please?”_

“Yes…we’re in Deling City. We’ll be there in few minutes…”

_“Thanks…”_

“If Seifer comes back before us, try to contain him until we arrive. Don’t tell him immediately.”

_“I’ll try but it’s not like we could hide it…”_

“I know but…we’ll be able to restrain his rage. His friends will know what to do.”

_“Alright. I’m waiting for you.”_

“Is there anybody who touched anything? We could take finger prints…”

_“We just entered to check their pulse…but we didn’t move or touch anything else.”_

“Okay. We’re coming.”

_“Thank you…”_

Cid hung up and sat heavily. He took a short time and fixed his attention on the secretary. “Tell to Nida we’re going to Winhill. Ask him to reach the town as fast as he cans, please.”

“Yes, headmaster.”

“I’m sorry for you, but the ceremony is cancelled. We have an emergency, right now. Dismissed.” He said to the new seeds. They left, letting Irvine, Selphie and Linoa alone with Cid.

“Sir? What’s wrong?” asked Irvine.

“I’m still in shock…I can’t believe it…” said Cid, sadly. Tears were coming to his eyes. “Hyne…Seifer will be devastated…”

“Sir! What happened?” demanded Selphie, worried.

He took a large breath and faced the three friends with sadness. “Zell and the kids…have been murdered…”

“NO!!” cried Linoa, covering her mouth with her hand. “No! It can’t be true…”

“No! Zell! It’s impossible!!” shouted with despair Selphie.

“…Lulu and Clad too?” asked Irvine.

“Yes…apparently, they had been shot by a stranger. Winhill’s mayor told me they found their bodies at their home…”

“No…” cried Linoa.

Irvine hid his face with his hand to cry. Selphie buried her face to his chest. “No…no…”

“Seifer isn’t back yet. I hope we’ll arrive before him because he’ll need your help…” said Cid. “Can you call Quistis please? I need to announce it to my wife.”

“Sure…should we call Zell’s mother?” demanded Irvine, wiping his tears.

“Later…I think we should deal with Seifer first.”

“Understood…”

They left the office slowly, as if they had been knocked. Zell was dead…he had been killed with his children…and Seifer didn’t know anything yet.

 

Fortunately, they arrived before Squall and Seifer. The Garden stopped in front of the town. Selphie, Irvine, Linoa, Edea, Cid and Kadowaki ran toward the small village and reached Seifer and Zell’s home quickly. Quistis and Laguna were on the road when they called them, so they arrived practically on the same time, just few minutes later. When the first group got there, they saw several persons, crying and talking in front of the house. Mister Mire went to them.

“Thanks for coming.” He said, holding his hand to Cid. His eyes were red so he probably cried, like most of the villagers.

“Show me…” said Cid.

They were about to follow him when Quistis and Laguna joined them, running. “Guys!” yelled Quistis.

“Quis…” whispered Selphie, still crying.

“So…where are they?” asked Laguna.

“Follow me.” told Winhill’s mayor. They walked slowly toward the small home. People moved away to let them pass. Three white sheets were disposed on the floor, covering the bodies. Irvine and Laguna approached and removed the first sheet, reveling Zell’s dead body, shot several times on the head and on the chest. There was blood everywhere. Irvine closed his eyes, to endure the painful vision. Laguna looked away with disgust. Edea moved closer and shouted when she saw Zell. Cid had to take her away from this vision of horror. Linoa and Selphie were crying harder, hugging each other. Despite her pain, Quistis managed to walk toward the two other sheets and put down the first one. She saw Lulu, on her stomach, eyes closed, shot on the head and on the back. Then, she did the same for the last one, revealing Clad’s little body. The boy hadn’t been touched in the head but on the chest; he was on his back, head turned on the left. Quistis couldn’t hold it anymore and covered their bodies again, leaving the room immediately. She needed to have some fresh air, but she also didn’t want to explode in front of everyone. She couldn’t stop crying. Selphie and Linoa joined her outside, still in shock.

“It can’t be true…who could have done that?” wondered Selphie.

“Definitely someone who is devoid from humanity…” replied Quistis.”Killing a man and two young children defenseless is the most coward thing I ever saw in my life.”

“Why? Zell never had any enemies…” added Linoa.

Quistis wanted to answer but she suddenly noticed two figures running toward them. She recognized quickly Seifer and Squall. “Hyne! Seifer is back!” she went back to the house. “Irvine! Laguna! Seifer and Squall are back!”

“Oh God! Seifer shouldn’t see that…keep him outside!” said Laguna. The two men joined their wives outside and waited for the two gunbladists.

When Seifer reached his home, followed by Squall, he noticed there were a lot of people in front of the place. Laguna and Irvine went to him.

“What’s wrong? Where is Zell?” asked Seifer.

“Seifer…please…” started to say Laguna but Seifer tried to pass.

“Where are my kids? Where is Zell??” asked again Seifer.

Nobody could answer but the tall blonde understood something terrible happened. He didn’t waste any time and rushed toward the house but Laguna and Irvine blocked him.

“No! Seifer! You can’t!!”

“OUT OF MY WAY!!!” yelled Seifer.” LET ME PASS!!”

Cid went to help them. “Seifer, please…let us explain it to you first…”

Linoa grabbed Squall by the arm and moved away with him to tell him. Squall froze and practically fell on his knees when Linoa finished. Seifer observed him and everyone…Matron, Linoa, Selphie, Quistis, crying; Irvine, Laguna and Cid restraining him…villagers around his home and no trace of Lulu, Clad or Zell.

“TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND? WHERE ARE MY KIDS???” He didn’t wait for their answer and pushed everyone on his way. He ran toward his house.

“SEIFER! NO!!” cried Irvine and Laguna.

The tall man reached his home…blood everywhere. Bullets on the floor. White sheets covering something…he noticed blond hair under the first one and he began to realize slowly what this mess meant…

“No…” he immediately crawled on his knees and went to the first body, removing the sheet. Zell’s face was turned on the right side, shot two times in the forehead. He blinked several times and reached the two other bodies, discovering Lulu and Clad. “No…no…no…” he whispered.

Laguna and Irvine stayed back. Squall joined them and could see by himself the terrible truth. He covered his mouth with his hand to support the horrible picture. Seifer was in the middle of the room, between Lulu and Zell’s bodies, on his knees, back to the others. He couldn’t see clearly anything around him. Tears were already dripping on his cheeks without he even realized.

“No…no…NO! NO! NO! NO!” yelled Seifer shaking his head violently. Quistis approached with Laguna when they felt something was changing in the air.

“Seifer…” she murmured.

She put her hand on his shoulder when he pushed her away. She moved back, afraid. Seifer raised on his feet. He was trembling and breathing deeply. He lifted his head slowly. Everybody froze. His face was covered by blood. Actually, he cried tears of blood. His look was terrifying. He was struggling harder, arching his back and yelling, as if he had been injured physically. Everyone around him didn’t know what to do and was in fact afraid to approach.

“What is happening?” asked Selphie, scared.

“I don’t know…” replied Irvine. “Seifer…talk to us…”

But Seifer couldn’t. He was fighting with himself, from the inside. He shook his head harder and faster, screaming loudly.

“AAAAARRGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!”

“Doc! What is wrong with him???” asked Squall to Kadowaki.

“The shock, I suppose, but there’s something wrong with his physical reaction…I think he’s mutating again…” answered Kadowaki.

Then , a violent blast pushed away everyone. Quistis, Linoa and Selphie crashed against the wall. The others fell on their knees.

“AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!” screamed Seifer.

Villagers became afraid and started to move away from the house. The group finally lifted their head to see Seifer who was transforming. His wings appeared on his back, ripping his shirt. It were open widely and grew up, touching the ceiling. His torso and the rest of his body were covered by the white shell with black scales. Blood was dripping between the scales. The scales began to fall on the floor, one after another and the white shell appeared. The tribal black motifs he previously had disappeared, letting red lines emerged. Actually, it was his veins. It was as if his skin had been pulled out and was exposed. The dripping blood became dark but didn’t stop. His webbed feet became larger. His entire body grew up, longer and larger. His face was frightening. His piercing greens eyes were still crying tears of blood. His beak vanished and his mouth became larger with big fangs. The color of the skin on his face was the same than the one on his body, practically white with red veins everywhere. Several horns grew on the top of his head. His back was covered by larger spines. His long tail mutated in a dangerous snake who was moving alone as if he was independent of Seifer’s body. Even his long blond hair changed and became white.

“Hyne! We have to do something or he won’t stop mutating!” said Quistis.

“What can we do? He’s out of control!!” replied Laguna.

With the violent blast, Zell, Lulu and Clad’s bodies had been propelled at the entrance of the home. The group was encircling Seifer, trying to call him or at least to calm him but he couldn’t hear them. Linoa looked down and put her knees on the floor, reaching Lulu’s body. She caressed her face when she noticed something. Her skin wasn’t as cold as it should be. She touched her neck and checked her pulse.

“Seifer! I’m begging you!! Please, calm down!!” pleaded Squall.

Seifer roared with furor. Nothing and no one could stop him. Everyone feared the worst. If they couldn’t cool him, he would destroy everything around him. The entire village was horrified. Nobody had ever seen Seifer’s g-force form.

“We should evacuate everyone!” proposed Irvine.

“But we can’t let him like this!” replied Selphie.

“There’s nothing we can do! He won’t listen!”

During this time, Linoa went to Clad’s body and checked his pulse too. She did the same for Zell, but unfortunately, it was really useless for him. She fixed Squall and shouted as loud as she could to cover Seifer’s roars.

“SQUALL!!”

“WHAT??” Squall returned to her and looked at the two children. “What?”

“Lulu and Clad! They’re still alive!!” she turned her attention on Kadowaki who checked it too before agreeing.

“She’s right. I can feel their pulse but it’s really weak.”

“What about Zell?” asked Squall with hope, but Kadowaki and Linoa shook their head, sadly.

Squall got up and returned to Seifer.

“SEIFER!!! CLAD AND LULU ARE ALIVE!!!”

The creature froze instantly. He kept roaring but seemed to calm down. Everyone fixed Linoa and the Doc. Quistis joined them with Selphie and used their limit break to heal them.

“Yes, Seifer…there’s still a chance to save them. Kadowaki and Linoa checked their pulse…” continued to explain Squall calmly. “Please…”

The g-force stopped mutating and returned to her human form. When Seifer found his appearance again, he fell on his knees, exhausted, but recovered his mind quickly. He ran toward his children and looked at them.

“Lulu? Clad??” Called Seifer.

“We need to bring them to Esthar. I’m sure Valentine will help us.” Proposed Laguna. “Let’s take the Ragnarok.”

“Zell?” asked Seifer.

But Linoa grabbed his hand. “No Seifer…Zell isn’t…I’m sorry.”

Edea, who stayed quiet until now approached and put her hand on Seifer’s shoulder. “Darling, I know it’s hard…but you have to be strong for your kids. They need you. There’s still a chance to save them…”

Laguna took Clad’s body in his arms. “Irvine, grab Lulu and let’s go to the Ragnarok.” The cowboy agreed and did it.

Seifer wiped his tears and carried his husband’s body, kissing his lips tenderly. “I’m so sorry, my love…I should have never left your side…” he whispered, crying.

Squall came closer and rubbed Seifer’s back with his hand. “Let’s go Seifer…”


	11. A last hope

Kadowaki joined the group in the Ragnarok. Laguna had called Kiros to inform him about the situation to let him prepare everything for their arrival. Squall had informed Raijin and Fujin and asked them to contact Zell’s mother. Laguna proposed to send them another ship to pick them at Timber and Zell’s mother at Balamb. Quistis, Linoa, Selphie and Matron were assisting Kadowaki, using their limits break again and again to heal Lulu and Clad but nothing worked.

“Why it doesn’t work?” asked Selphie.

Irvine moved closer. “Doc, can you remove one bullet please?”

“Yes.” She did it and held it to the cowboy.

“So?” asked Squall.

“I never saw these kind of bullets before…I think it’s because of this that you can’t cure them. These bullets are special…” He looked intensely. “I need to learn more to answer. Give me more time to study it.” Said Irvine leaving the room with the bullet.

Seifer was looking at them with dead look. He looked like a zombie. He never let go Zell’s body. He was still hugging him tightly against his chest, fixing Lulu and Clad with despair. Edea was behind him, rubbing softly his back.

“Darling…you should let Zell go …” she suggested.

But Seifer didn’t reply. He was focused on his children, still holding his husband in his arms. He was covered by his blood, half naked. His clothes had been ripped apart because of his transformation. His eyes were completely red after all the tears he shed. Nobody had word to comfort him. It was still hard to believe that Zell was dead, and the kids were between life and death.

Cid and Edea tried to release Zell’s body from Seifer’s grip but it was impossible. Seifer was completely passive but he kept his strength and nobody could take Zell away from him. During all the flight, he didn’t pronounce a single word, keeping his eyes on his children.

“Doc? Do you think they can survive?” asked Squall.

“I don’t know. It’s too early to say it. To be honest, I wonder how they can be still alive after have been shot so severely, especially Lulu who had been touched in the head.”

“There’s nothing else you can do to heal them?” demanded Selphie.

“Clad and Lulu’s constitution is different. I could remove the bullets and treat their wounds but I don’t know how they would react. Their state is really fragile and I could kill them if I do something wrong. I’ve no materials to do it anyway. I’m not competent enough. It’s too risky, and as you can see, cure spells don’t work.” She explained.

Squall kicked the first armchair on his way with his foot furiously. “Fucking bastard!! I swear the one who did that will pay with his life!!”

“Did the mayor have any information about him?” asked Quistis.

“We didn’t really have the time to discuss about it. He just told me people saw a stranger in the village…that’s all.” Said Cid.

Seifer was hearing everything but couldn’t give attention on them. He was completely lost. When Zell died, a part of him died with him on the same time. He was just trying to stay alive for his children, hoping they could survive. He had no right to give up on them. Zell wouldn’t forgive him…but what could he do without his lover?

 

 

**_Diablo: “History is repeating itself…again. Zell had lived without you, alone with the kids during two long years…this is your turn now.”_ **

“Yes…but at this time, the kids were safe and I wasn’t dead…”

**_Diablo : “Good things never last.”_ **

“It depends on who is concerned…”

**_Shiva: “Why are you saying that, Seifer?”_ **

“I’m not allowed to be happy…life never gave me anything…and death took me everything. “

**_Ifrit: “People around you are suffering too. Zell was their friend.”_ **

“But he was my lover…my soul mate…it should have been me at his place…”

**_Bahamut: “You can’t change anything. But you can avenge them.”_ **

“It’s because of me…”

**_Shiva: “Seifer…”_ **

“My fault and my fault again…it always had been and would always be my fault...”

**_Ifrit: “He will live forever in your heart.”_ **

“I’ll never see him smiling again…”

**_Shiva: “Remember him and he will live forever in you.”_ **

“I’ll never touch him again…”

**_Diablo: “Only the pain is eternal. Happiness is just an illusion…a hope, a dream which never becomes true.”_ **

“I’ll never say him how much I love him again…”

**_Bahamut:” Fate.”_ **

“Fate doesn’t exist. He should be still alive if only I didn’t meet him again…if only he didn’t fall in love with me…”

**_Bahamut:”You’re wrong, Seifer. Fate exists.”_ **

“Is it my fate to see all the people I love dying around me? Is it my fate to be responsible of their death?”

**_Diablo: “Definitely.”_ **

**_Shiva: “Shut up, Diablo! Don’t listen to him.  Don’t let him drag you in the darkness…”_ **

“I’m already in the darkness…I lost everything…”

**_Ifrit: “Clad and Lulu are still alive. Fight for them.”_ **

“They will die as the others before them…I’m just a source of pain. They don’t need me…”

**_Ifrit: “Coward! Fight!”_ **

“I’m tired…I’m so tired…I have no strength anymore…they took me everything…”

**_Bahamut: If you really love them as you pretend, you’ll find the courage to get up. It’s not over.”_ **

**_Diablo: “Yes. Their assassin is still free.”_ **

“I will take care of him…he will suffer until his last breath…I’ll take everything he cares…I’ll destroy him…”

**_Shiva: “Don’t let your anger blinding you.”_ **

“It’s not anger…it’s pain, rage, furor…there’re not enough words to describe what I feel…but when I’ll find him, nothing would stop me.”

**_Shiva: “It’s not gonna bring Zell back and it won’t appease your pain.”_ **

“It doesn’t matter…nothing really matters anymore…”

**_Bahamut: “It’s not over, Seifer. It’s not over yet.”_ **

 

* * *

 

The Ragnarok finally arrived in Esthar. Kiros and Ward were already there with two ambulances and cars to pick the group. They didn’t waste any time and went to the Presidential Palace. Since Geyser’s laboratory had been transferred in the Palace a long time ago, they brought the kids to Valentine quickly. They waited outside during hours. Kadowaki joined Valentine to help him. Everybody was waiting in the other room, except Seifer. He stayed in front of the door of the laboratory, immobile. The others didn’t know what to do or to say. They were in the same state, still in shock and really depressed. One of them died and it wasn’t in the battlefield. Zell had survived to the war, to the fight with Ultimecia…but he died in his home, murdered by a coward who shot him.

“We should drag Seifer out of here. It’s not a good thing to let him stay like this…” said Linoa.

“He wouldn’t listen. It’s helpless…” replied Squall. He sat on the first chair and hid his face, ashamed. “It’s my fault…”

“Squall! Don’t say that!” exclaimed Laguna.

“Why? It’s the truth! I’m the one who asked Seifer to come with me. If he had stayed at home with Zell and the kids, he could have protected them and nothing would have happened…”

“You couldn’t know, Squall. No one either. Don’t feel guilty for that. Besides…” Quistis sighted sadly. “Zell would have hated it to see you blaming yourself this way…”

Selphie wiped her tears and got up. “Do you think Irvine found something already?” Her boyfriend had left to study the bullets he took off from Lulu’s body.

“I don’t know…Let him work, Selphie. If he can find something, it would be a good start for our investigation.” Replied Laguna.

“Sure…”

Edea got up and walked toward the corridor to join Seifer. She was the one who could comfort him. She rubbed his back softly without talking.

“What have I done, Matron?” whispered Seifer. He knew without turning back Edea was behind him. He could recognize her scent.

“Nothing darling. You’ve done nothing…don’t think that…please.”

 “You should have let me die when you found me…”

“Seifer! Stop it!”

“Everything could have been different if you had let me die instead of saving my worthless life…”

“No…stop saying that.”

“Zell would be still alive, working at the Garden with the others. Lulu and Clad would be still healthy and happy with their families…”

“You’re wrong…”

“I was so close to death this day…but you found me and you saved me…look what I’m now. Look what I did…”

“Seifer, for the last time, you didn’t do anything. You weren’t the one who shot them!”

“Where is the difference? Who cares to know who pulled the trigger? This is the same result: ZELL IS DEAD AND MY KIDS ARE DYING IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I’M PERFECTLY HEALTHY! DO YOU THINK IT’S FAIR???” yelled Seifer furious.

“Calm down darling…”

Squall, Quistis, Laguna and Cid joined them when they heard Seifer shouting.

“WHY? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAVE ME, MATRON?? TELL ME WHY!!!”

“Because…I didn’t want to lose you. I couldn’t let you die after all what this monster and Ultimecia did to you…I couldn’t…”

“DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? WHATEVER I TRY TO DO I STILL WOULD BE THE SAME! THE SAME FAILURE! THE SAME BASTARD! THE SAME MONSTER!!!” Seifer was screaming like a beast.

“Stop it, Seifer! I know you’re suffering right now but blaming yourself or Matron won’t change anything…” said Squall.

“Suffering? You think…I’m suffering??” whispered Seifer with an evil laugh. “OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES, SQUALL! ZELL IS DEAD! ZELL IS FUCKING DEAD!!! MY KIDS WOULD BE THE NEXT ONES!! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND I’M ALREADY DEAD?? I DIED AT THE SECOND WHEN THIS FUCKING BASTARD TOOK THEIR LIVES!!!”

Selphie and Linoa joined them too, trying to control Seifer’s anger. “Please, calm down…there’s still a hope to save Lulu and Clad…” said Linoa.

“WHAT FOR? TO SEE THEM DYING LATER??”

“Stop it! It’s not over! If there’s still a chance, you have to believe until the end!” yelled firmly Quistis, slapping Seifer’s cheek.

The blonde stayed in the same position, head turned on the left after had received Quistis’s slap. Everybody was watching him, wondering how he would react when he started to laugh hysterically.

“You were right, Leonhart…after all, the only thing I can do right is destroying everything around me…Ultimecia used to tell me the same…” said Seifer.

“Zell would hate to see you this way. If it had been you at his place, he would had found the courage to stand up for Lulu and Clad.” Told Squall.

“Zell is dead, Squall…I can’t erase this guilty feeling I have knowing that they had been killed because of me, whatever you could say. Even if Lulu and Clad survive, how could I face them? If only I died before time compression, they would be still alive…”

Some of them didn’t seem to understand, but Laguna, Squall and Edea did. Seifer was referring at the time when Edea found him after Kronos had rapped him and let him dying, to fight against the others. She was the one who saved him this day.  

“Seifer…Zell wasn’t happy when he was at the Garden. Lulu would have lost her grandmother and Clad, his mother, anyway. Nothing would have been different.”

“Yes, it would, Linoa. They would be still alive.”

“Your children will survive. You must keep faith.” Insisted Linoa.

“Faith…”

 

* * *

 

Laguna sent another ship to pick Raijin, Fujin and Zell’s mother at Balamb and Timber. The poor woman was devastated. She cried and cried again when she knew Zell had been killed. She feared this terrible moment since he went to the Garden. She was relieved when Zell told her he quitted to live in Winhill with Seifer and Lulu. She thought he risked nothing there, in a small and peaceful village…but she was wrong. Even her grandchildren had been shot. Cid explained her everything, saying that Seifer wasn’t at home when they had been murdered, but nothing could light her pain. Nothing. She lost her only child. Her beloved Zell.

When the ship came to picker her, Raijin and Fujin were already on board. They had the same sad look on their face. They comforted her during the entire flight, giving her support. Fujin took her in her arms and held her during several hours, letting her cry on her shoulder without saying a single word, just rubbing her back gently. She perfectly knew in this kind of moments, words were useless.

 

* * *

 

After five hours, the group was still waiting, when Valentine and Kadowaki finally came to them. Seifer who was staring through the window on the corridor alone, lifted his head when he heard steps and ran toward the doctors.

“How are they?” he asked quickly.

Valentine gave a glance to Kadowaki and began to explain when the group joined them. “Hum…their condition is stable but serious. We removed all the bullets but the impacts it caused are terrible and even if we tried surgery, potions and everything we had, nothing really worked until now…”

“But they’re still alive, right?” demanded Seifer.

“Yes…but I must be honest with you, Mister Almasy: I’m not optimistic. Their injuries are too important to be healed. I don’t know how they managed to survive to this, but we can’t heal them whatever we try to do…I’m sorry…”

Seifer moved away, turning his back. His tears were already dripping on his cheeks. He was still crying blood and no normal tears. Everyone felt useless.

“So…there’s nothing you can do?” asked Kiros.

“No…I wish I could but…”

“Geyser.”

The group and the two doctors fixed Seifer, frowning. “What did you say, Seifer?” demanded Laguna.

“Bring…bring Geyser here.”  

“But…why?”

“He will know what to do. Bring him here.”

Laguna looked Valentine, then his wife, his friend Kiros and his son. He didn’t know what to do. Letting this bastard free wasn’t an option but Seifer was right. Geyser was at the origin of his power since he created it with his experiences, so he would know what to do.

“I’m trying to listen to you when you told me I should keep faith. That’s what I’m doing. Bring him here…please.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him, Mister President. Mister Almasy is right. I’m not enough competent to take care of this.”

“Alright. Kiros, come with me and let’s pick this bastard.”

The two men left, letting the rest of the gang alone. Seifer tried to wipe the blood of his face but finally gave up before facing Valentine and Kadowaki.

“Can I see them?”

“Of course. Follow me.”

 

Seifer joined Valentine and reached the room where Lulu and Clad were. Several machines were connected to them. Their bodies were covered by bandages. Valentine put his hand on Seifer’s shoulder and left him alone, in privacy. Seifer moved closer to his daughter. The tears came back to his eyes when he saw her fragile face pale and injured everywhere.

“My sweetheart…what did they do to you?” murmured Seifer, crying and stroking her cheek. He reached Clad’s bed and stared at him, caressing his hair. “My poor angel…”

He hid his face with his hand to cry harder. His cheeks were red because of the blood he lost, crying. It wasn’t a normal physical reaction. He didn’t understand himself why he was crying blood instead of clear tears but it didn’t matter. He raised his head and turned his attention on the third bed on his right. He just could guess a larger figure covered by a white sheet. He guessed immediately it was Zell. He moved closer, slowly reaching the bed. He put the sheet down and saw the little blond, naked. His white and pale skin was bruised by the bullets impacts. Seifer collapsed in his knees, bursting into tears with despair.

“Zell…forgive me…forgive me my love…” Tears were pouring on the floor. The pain was so huge that Seifer never had cried that much in his whole life, even when he was terribly tortured.

“I promised…I promised I would be there for you, Lulu and Clad forever…but I wasn’t there…again…”

Seifer curled in a ball on the ground, hiding his face between his knees. His heart hurt so much that he hoped it would break soon. Death. That was what he wanted to stop the pain. The only thing which stopped his mutation at this time when he saw their bodies was to know that Lulu and Clad were still alive.

“Zell…Zell…” murmured Seifer, crying a river. “AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” yelled the tall blonde desperate.

He didn’t hear someone just came in the room. He couldn’t see anything since his eyes were full of blood tears. He just felt a hand on his hair.

“Seifer…”

It was a familiar voice. A voice he didn’t hear since days. A voice he knew…

“Ma…” whispered Seifer, raising on his knees.

She was facing him, wiping his tears on his face. She had been surprised by all this blood on his face when she could see by herself it came from Seifer’s eyes.

“Ma…I wasn’t there…I wasn’t there to protect them…” sobbed Seifer.

The kind mother deposed a soft kiss on his forehead and took him in her strong arms. She already shed all the tears she could during the flight. Despite of that, she was crying again when she saw her beloved son, dead, on the table under the white sheet. It wasn’t a nightmare, it was the reality. Zell was gone…

“Zell…” murmured Seifer against her chest. “Forgive me…I wasn’t there…”

She understood his pain better than anybody and she knew no word was enough to comfort him. She even couldn’t comfort herself. The only thing she could do was to stay by his side.

“Hold on, Seifer…hold on. For Lulu and Clad.” She said softly.

 

* * *

 

Kiros and Laguna went to the Prison. They were waiting for Geyser in the room when they used to question him. The prisoner arrived ten minutes later.

“Oh? Mizter Prezident? What can I do for you?”

“I’ll be straight. We need your help.”

Geyser smiled, taking the chair in front of them. “Iz it about my beloved creation?”

“Sort of. Zell, Lulu and Clad had been shot earlier on the afternoon. Zell is dead but Lulu and Clad are still alive.” Explained Kiros.

The former scientist frowned, wondering why they came to ask his help. “Zad to hear that…And zo?”

“Irvine thinks they had been shot by specials bullets. He’s studying it right now to discover what it is. We can’t do anything for Zell anymore, but the kids have miraculously survived, despite the fact they have been shot in the head and in the heart. Valentine and Kadowaki tried to save them but nothing worked. Their organism rejected cure spells, potions and the surgery wasn’t enough…”

“What do you expect from me?”

“We don’t know how the kids could have survived but you do. You know their power. You created it.” Laguna bit his lip. It cost him a lot to admit it but he had to. “You’re our last hope to save them.”

Geyser couldn’t help to laugh. “Zo, you need my help now?”

“Yes.”

“What zhould I help you?”

Kiros gave a look to Laguna and nodded. The president sighted, defeated.

 “I accept to reconsider your sentence and I’ll give you back your freedom if you manage to save them. Besides, it would be your chance to continue your “researches” where you stopped.”

The doctor crossed his hands, thinking. Laguna lost patience.

“It’s an emergency! Make up your mind now or I’ll let you die in your cell for the rest of your life!!”

“I want my laboratory back and my previouz ztatuz.”

“Agreed.”

“And if I fail, I don’t wanna be zent in jail again.”

Laguna was furious. He knew he wasn’t in position to discuss. “Agreed.”

“Let’s go. We can’t wait anymore.” Concluded Kiros.

Geyser nodded and held his hands to the guard to be released. He smiled, satisfied, and followed the two men without wasting any time.

 

They reached the laboratory quickly. Valentine and Kadowaki were talking with the group just in front of the door, on the corridor. Laguna went to Quistis.

“Where is Seifer?”

“He’s with Zell’s mother, Raijin and Fujin on the waiting room. They’re trying to calm him…I think he feels pretty weak with all the blood he lost.”

“Did he have been zhot too? I thought it waz juzt hiz lover and the kidz?”

 “Seifer wasn’t there when they had been shot. But since he saw them, he never stopped to cry tears of blood…” explained Laguna. “Do you know why?”

“It’z ztrange…but Zeifer never had been normal after all…I zuppose it iz becauze of the pain and the zhock.”

Ma, Seifer, Raijin and Fujin joined them when they heard voices on the corridor. Seifer approached slowly to Geyser fixing him, desperate.

“Can…you save them?”

Geyser hesitated before answering, but even if he was a bastard, he couldn’t help to be sad for his former subject. For the first time, he looked at him as a human, even if he wasn’t completely human anymore. The sadness and the despair in his eyes couldn’t let anybody indifferent.

“I’ll do my bezt.” Replied Geyser. “Bring me to them.”

“Valentine and Kadowaki will help you.” Added Laguna.

 _“You mean they will watch me…”_ thought Geyser but said nothing. He followed them and entered in the laboratory. Now, everything was in his hands.


	12. Waiting for a miracle

Geyser started his examination right away after had heard what happened. He took a look on Lulu and Clad’s bodies first since they were still on life support. Their condition was extremely fragile, but strangely enough strong to keep them alive.

“What did you already try?” asked Geyser to Valentine and Kadowaki.

“Surgery, potions and cure spells…everything. Mister Kinneas helped us with powerful spells as curaga and esuna but nothing worked. He’s studying the bullets we removed from their bodies.”

“Did you uze phoenix down and life zpellz?”

“Yes but as I told you, nothing worked. It’s as if somebody casted a shell spell on them which blocked the healing process…Mister Kinneas thinks it comes from the bullets.”

“Hum…” Geyser crossed his arms behind his back. “Did you make analyzez?”

“Yes.” Valentine took a file on his desk and held it to him. Geyser read the results.

“I zee the vital functionz are ztill working but weakly...”

“It’s a miracle that the kids survived to this…”

“Not a miracle, Mizter Valentine but zcience. Normal people wouldn’t have zurvived to thiz. You zaw it by yourzelf, judging Mizter Dincht’z ztate.” 

“What do you mean?” asked Kadowaki who stayed quiet until now.

“It comez from the cellz they received from Mizter Almazy. With the time, hiz body developed an incredible healing ability. It’z really regrettable he can’t control hiz ztrength and it dependz of hiz emotionz…”

“This is all that matters for you? Don’t you think we have better things to do right now?” complained Kadowaki.

Geyser glared at her but ignored her reproaches and continued the examination. He needed to learn more to know what to do.

 

* * *

 

During this time, Seifer was waiting on the corridor. Sitting on a bench, he was fixing the ground with dead eyes. After his quarrel with Matron, he didn’t want to talk with anyone. He didn’t want to hear them trying to comfort him, giving advice to keep hope. Hope…how it could be worse than that? His husband was dead and his children were dying. A part of him was screaming to believe in Lulu and Clad’s recovery, but another one was saying it didn’t matter and actually, it would be the best if they died, because this way, they would stop suffering…

**_Bahamut: “Aren’t you ashamed of you??”_ **

“Yes I am…”

**_Bahamut: “You know what I mean. Are you already giving up?”_ **

“Did you forget who I am? I am the bright Seifer Almasy! So far as I could recall I was already a failure.”

**_Ifrit: “What do you think Zell would say if he heard you?”_ **

“He would say he and the kids died because of me.”

**_“Ifrit: “He wouldn’t and you know it.”_ **

“But this is the truth and I know it.”

**_Shiva: “Why are you blaming yourself Seifer? You even don’t know what really happened…”_ **

“I can guess: someone targeted my family, probably because he had some grieves toward me. It can’t be different. Zell had no enemies, without talking about Lulu and Clad…”

**_Diablo: “People never forget.”_ **

“Yes. There will be still someone in this world who will remember my contribution in this war. My name would never be cleared…I soiled it the day when I was born.”

**_Shiva: “Stop it!”_ **

“Why? Is it not true? Tell me a single good thing I ever did in twenty years! Just one!”

**_Shiva: “…You gave love to your husband and to your children…”_ **

**_Ifrit: “You saved this world when Ultimecia came back.”_ **

**_Bahamut: “You gave them a part of your strength to survive. If Lulu and Clad haven’t received your cells, they would be already dead now and they wouldn’t be born without you.”_ **

“…”

**_Diablo: “Maybe it would have been better? What do you think their parents would say if they could see what happened to their beloved children after they met you?”_ **

**_Shiva: “Don’t you ever shut up?”_ **

“No…he’s right. Celes and Karen would probably hate me for this…the same way Zell’s mother is doing right now…”

**_Ifrit: “If it’s that what you’re thinking about yourself, then you don’t deserve him.”_ **

“I never deserved him. He was my opposite in everything. He never could have done a single bad thing in his whole and short life, when I never stopped to cause troubles and death around me. He was loved by everyone when I was hated by this entire world. He made his parents proud of him when I soiled my parents’ name… ”

**_Ifrit: “He loved you, more than you could imagine.”_ **

“Why? How could he had loved me that much? I’m a monster…in every sense of the word.”

**_Ifrit : “Zell had been my master for a long time before, so I knew him better than any other g-force. You always had been important to him, even before he understood his feelings for you. He would have given his life for you without hesitation. The least you could do is to be strong for your kids.”_ **

“…”

**_Bahamut: “Your fate never had been easy, Seifer. But this is yours. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, so believe in yourself.”_ **

 

Seifer sighted, closing his eyes. The tears were coming again, when he felt a soft hand rubbing his back.

“You should eat something, Seifer…”

“Ma…”

“You didn’t eat and drink during the whole day…”

“I can’t. There’s nothing I can do right now…”

She caressed his hair tenderly. “At least, try to rest a bit. You look terrible.”

Seifer clenched his fists, trying to contain his pain. “Ma…don’t you hate me?”

“Huh?”

“I…I promised you I would take care of him. I promised I would protect him…but I wasn’t there…”

“Seifer…”

“I don’t know who did this but I’m sure he was looking for me and he aimed Zell and the kids to make me suffer.”

“…”

“How could you be so nice with me when I’m responsible of your son’s death? Don’t you hate me??”

She got up and turned her back to him, before answering. “…I did.”

“What?”

She faced him ashamed, looking down. “Actually, I hated you…when they called me to say what happened.” She sat again near of him. “I couldn’t accept it. Even if I knew it wasn’t your fault…I couldn’t help to blame you for Zell’s death. I hated you as I never hated anyone in my whole life…”

“I understand, Ma. I hate myself…”

“I was so desperate that I took a knife in my kitchen before the Ragnarok came to pick me. I was so enraged that I said to myself I would pierce your heart with it when I would meet you. I thought you should have been there to protect him and no excuse could justify your absence…”

“If you want to kill me, I won’t stop you…”

She took Seifer’s hand and squeezed it. “I really did hate you, Seifer…but all my hatred vanished when I saw you crying on the laboratory…”

“??”

“I realized how much you were suffering…the same way I did. I understood how much you loved him when I saw you crying desperately…and I felt ashamed to have had these kind of thoughts about you. Zell was my son, but he was also your husband and the father of your kids. Our pain is equal…so I have no right to blame you because I know you would have given your life to save him…”

Seifer smiled sadly. “I understand where his kindness came from now…you’re so nice with me…”

She kissed his forehead. “Forgive me Seifer…”

“What for?”

“To have been so cruel toward you. To have thought this way about you. Zell would have hated me for this. I’m so ashamed…”

Seifer took her in his arms. “No, Ma…don’t think that, please…” She cried on his shoulder. “I’m the one to blame…”

“No Seifer, you’re wrong.” She wiped her tears. “But…please…”

“What? Tell me.”

“I…I feel so ashamed to ask you that. It’s very unlike me but…I want you to find the one who did this…”

“I will, Ma.”

“And…I want he suffers.”

Seifer fixed her, a bit disoriented. It wasn’t like he was against this idea, on the contrary. But Ma wasn’t like this usually. She was a kind person.

“I know what I’m asking you but…I want this monster suffers the same way he makes us suffering right now. He took my only son…and he hurt my grandchildren…and…”

Seifer hugged her and whispered to her ear. “I will find him, Ma. I promise he will suffer until his last breath.”

“I’m so sorry to be like that…”

“You’re talking with your heart, Ma. I understand. It doesn’t make you a bad person, so don’t judge yourself so roughly, okay?”

She nodded silently. Fujin, who stayed away during their conversation, approached. Seifer looked at her and got up.

“Take care of her, Fuu. I need to have some fresh air.” Said Seifer when he passed near of her.

“Sure…”

 

Seifer walked toward the laboratory. He wanted to know if Geyser finished his examination. The door wasn’t completely closed. He was about to enter when he noticed Geyser, Valentine, Kadowaki were talking with Laguna and Squall. He decided to stay outside to listen what they were saying when Irvine joined them.

“Irvine! Did you find anything?” asked Squall.

“I think so…I studied the bullets and it was what I suspected…”

“Tell us.”

“Well, these bullets contain some special substances which produce the same effects that magic spells…”

“What kind of magic spells?”

“Pain and shell, especially. It explains why the bullets caused so many terrible impacts on their bodies and why cura spells didn’t work…”

“That means…”

“That meanz the one who attacked them knew about Lulu and Clad’z power or he wouldn’t have uzed theze kind of thingz. He needed zomething enough powerful to block their healing abilitiez…” replied Geyser.

“There’s more. I noticed some trace of zombie spell on the bullets…not a lot thought.” Added Irvine.

“I zee…the azzazzin wanted to be zure in the caze of you would try to cure them that it wouldn’t work and it would kill them. The zombie zpell can’t zupport the healing zpellz and haz the oppozite effect…” explained Geyser.

“Yes…I suppose this bastard probably went to see a specialist to create that.”

“How do you know it, Irvine?” asked Laguna.

“I don’t know, I just guess. I mean, these substances are particularly rare and I never saw for some of it, in the past, despite the fact I’m an expert on rifles. Maybe he made his bullets himself but he needed these substances to do it. So, I think we should start to visit the weapons shop to have some information about this…”

“Fine. We will start tomorrow morning, at the first hour. It’s a good start.” Agreed Laguna. He turned around to see Geyser. “So? Did you finish your examination?”

Seifer chose this moment to enter. Everybody faced him a bit surprised.

“Seifer?” Squall seemed to be uncomfortable. “How long have you been here?”

“I just arrived.” Lied Seifer. “Do you have some news?”

“Hum…yes. Irvine told us…” started to say Laguna when Squall cut him and finished his sentence at his place.

“Irvine told us he never saw these kind of bullets in the past and he needed to study more but there’s definitely something special about it because it caused much more damages than normal. We progress but we need more time…” Irvine and Laguna fixed Squall with a nervous look but didn’t contest him.

“I see…” replied Seifer. _“You won’t stop me, Leonhart. I will avenge my family. Don’t try to buy time, it’s useless…”_

They were joined few minutes later by the rest of the group.

“Guys? Any good news?” asked Linoa.

“Well, we were about to ask Geyser when you arrived.” Answered Squall.

The short doctor walked away, crossing his arms behind his back and began to talk: “I just finizhed. Az Mizter Valentine already told you, the kidz are ztill alive but their condition iz really weak. What it haz protected them from death iz the fact that they zhare the zame DNA with Zeifer. Zo when they were born, they received a part of his cellz. They developed with the time their healing abilitiez but their cellz didn’t mutate the zame way it did in Zeifer. Az you could remember, Zeifer had been zhot and endured important woundz and painz but he alwayz managed to heal himzelf with hiz conztitution. Unfortunately, the kidz just received a part of his power which explainz why they can’t heal themzelvez the zame way. But it waz enough developed to make them zurvive to their woundz…”

“So, they survived because they have my DNA?”

“Yez.”

“But…it won’t be enough to save them…”

“Yez…” Geyser came back to the group. “But maybe there’z a way…”

“Which one?”

“Your healing abilitiez increazed with your power. I don’t know if it would work but maybe we could implant zome of your new cellz on their bodiez to zee if it could develop…”

“But I have g-force’s cells now…I don’t think Clad and Lulu would support it.”

“I know but we zhould try it. Actually, thiz iz our lazt chance. I don’t think it could be worze anyway…”

Irvine moved closer and grabbed Geyser’s collar. “You just try to continue your stupid researches. You have no intention to heal them!”

Seifer put his hand on Irvine’s arm to stop it. The cowboy released Geyser and moved back. Seifer fixed the little doctor in the eyes.

“Okay…let’s do this.”

“Seifer…you shouldn’t…” began to say Linoa.

“He’s right. We have to do anything we can to save them…and we already tried everything. This is our last hope.” Said Ma. She took Seifer’s hand and smiled to him.

“Fine. We zhould ztart zoon.” Concluded Geyser.

 

They decided to proceed to the operation the same day. They couldn’t wait any more time since Clad and Lulu’s condition became weaker with each minute passed. Since it was already late, the group went back to their quarters to have some rest. There was nothing they could do anyway and everybody needed to rest. Valentine stayed with Kadowaki to assist Geyser. Seifer took a sedative and fell asleep quickly. Geyser collected samples of his cells and his blood. He took enough to implant it on Lulu and Clad’s bodies. The operation took three hours when they finally finished.

“I think it’s done. We just have to wait, now.” Said Kadowaki.

“Thank you for your hard work, Doctor. You should go to sleep now. It’s already late.” Told Valentine.

“Okay. Call me if you need anything…” she waved at them and left the room.

Valentine was about to call the infirmary to bring Seifer in his room to let him rest when Geyser asked him something.

“Where’z Mizter Dincht’z body?”

“Huh? Why?”

Geyser made a pause before answering. “Tell me firzt.”

“He’s on the other room. Since we finished the autopsy, we can give his body back to his family and…”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Don’t do that.”

“But why?”

“I want…I want to try zomething. We collected enough cellz in Zeifer’z body to implant it on him, zo we zhould try.”

“What for? Mister Dincht was 100% human and he’s already dead anyway.”

“Zo it won’t change anything to hiz ztate to try.”

“But…”

“Lizten, I know you think thiz iz not ethically right, but it’z worth a try. We have nothing to loze.”

“But why didn’t you propose it earlier?”

He glared at Valentine. “And what zhould I tell to hiz huzband and hiz mother if it doezn’t work?”

Valentine frowned, caught in surprise by Geyser’s answer.

“I’m not that heartlezz, Mizter Valentine. I already hurt Zeifer in the past. It would be cruel to give him falze hopez when I’m not even zure about my work. If it workz, it would be great. If it doezn’t, we wouldn’t have any regret.”

“You’re right.”

“Keep it for you and don’t zay a word to anybody.”

“But…what I am supposed to say to his family if they want to take his body for his funerals?”

“Find a good excuze. I don’t know…tell them you have to “fix” hiz face and hiz body in a decent way becauze the bulletz made terrible impactz.”

“Understood.”

“Okay. Let’z do it.”

 

* * *

 

Seifer woke up few hours later. He looked around him and noticed he was in a room and not at the laboratory anymore. He noticed some bandages on his arms.

 _“I suppose it’s still early to know if it worked…”_ he thought.

He got up and looked for a clock to see what time was it. When he finally found one, he saw it was early in the morning. The Palace was quiet and there was nobody in the corridor. Seifer went out of his room and took the way of the laboratory. He needed to see his children. When he arrived, he was surprised to find Zell’s mother on the corridor, just in front of Lulu and Clad’s room.

“Ma?”

“Oh! Seifer! How are you, darling?”

He sighted sadly. She approached and caressed his cheek. “I mean…how are you feeling physically? You should stay in your room to have some rest…your operation had probably exhausted you.”

“I couldn’t…I needed to see them.”

“I understand you. I felt the same so I couldn’t sleep.”

She took his hand with kindness and put her head on his shoulder. The both of them needed comfort. Despite the lack of sleep and their pain, they wanted to be there for Lulu and Clad. It was what Zell would have wanted.

“Did you see Valentine or Geyser?” asked Seifer.

“I saw both of them early this morning. They said we need more time to see if the operation worked and to observe the effects on their bodies.”

“That’s what I thought…” Seifer moved away from Miss Dincht. “Ma…I need to go.”

“Where?”

“Finding the one who did this.” He turned around and fixed her with determination. “I hope you understand…”

“I do, Seifer. Find him. I’ll call you if something happens…and I won’t say a word to anybody.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back later.”

Seifer began to walk when Miss Dincht called him. “Seifer?”

“Yes?”

“Please…be careful.”

“Don’t worry for me. Just pray for Lulu and Clad. They’ll need it.”

She nodded sadly and let Seifer go. She knew she couldn’t hold him back and besides, she didn’t want to. She was looking for revenge the same way he did.

 

* * *

 

Commercial Center, Esthar.

It was early in the morning. The shops were still closed except the Cloud’s Bazaar. The tenant just arrived, as always, at 6:00 a.m, when the other shops opened at 8:00. The man turned on the lights and went to the counter, to turn on the video surveillance system. When he finished, he returned to the entrance to open the door when he saw a tall blond man in front of him. He moved back because of the surprise but tried to welcome the customer the best way he could.

“Hum…Hello, Sir. Would you come in?”

The blonde entered in the shop without saying a word, glaring at the tenant with evil eyes. He stayed on his back.

“What can I do for you?” asked the tenant. He went behind his counter and faced the younger man. His face was familiar to him but he couldn’t remember when he had seen him.

The blonde approached and put a single bullet on the counter. “What can you tell me about this?”

The tenant took the bullet and examined it. He recognized it immediately and feared the worst. He knew a lot of things about this…since he created it.

“Hum…It’s a bullet…are you looking for other ones? I have a good collection and…” but the man didn’t have the time to finish his sentence that Seifer grabbed his collar and strangled him.

“Now, you’re gonna listen carefully: My lover and my kids had been shot by this shit and I’m sure you know something. You have no idea how far I could go to get what I wanna know, so…I would talk quickly if I were you.”

The man shivered. His body was shaking so hard that he barely could speak. The blonde was dangerous and strong…his piercing eyes were full of rage. He suddenly remembered him: the sorceress’s knight.

“I…I do..n’t…Kn..o.w..any..thing..” whispered the man between groans. He was struggling to free himself but Seifer’s grip got tighter around his throat. 

“Yes, you do. I saw your expression when you looked at the bullet. I know what it is: it’s not a common bullet but a special one made with rare items. You did it, right?”

“Pl…e..ase…ca..n’t..bre..a..”

Seifer released the man, letting him falling on his knees. The tenant was trying to find air again desperately. Seifer approached dangerously and kicked him in the stomach with his foot. The man rolled on his back, enduring the pain and the lack of air. Seifer didn’t stop and kicked him again on the same place and on the head. After some minutes, he stopped. He knew at this rhythm, he would kill him and he needed him alive until he would say what he knew.

“No…no..more…pl..eas..e…”

“It depends on you. Tell me what I wanna know or prepare to die. Your choice.” Seifer grabbed him by the arm and forced him to sit on the chair. “So?”

“Ok…I’ll…I’ll te..ll you…”

Seifer used a cura spell on him. It wasn’t to help him but to get his answers faster. The man seemed to recover a bit from his injuries and began to talk.

“I admit it…I created these bullets but I swear I didn’t know what he intended to do with it!!!”

“Who?”

“I don’t know his name. I just saw him two times: the first day when he came to request it and the second time when he went to get it, that’s all! I swear…”

“What did he tell you exactly when he passed his command?”

“He said…he said he needed some special bullets which could cause important and incurable damages, and which could block magic abilities and spells…”

“You even didn’t ask why? Don’t you have deontological rules in this fucking country?”

“Yes…we’re not supposed to create these kind of dangerous things usually for common people, except for the army…but he paid me good and he told me he was in the army before, so…”

“A soldier?”

“That’s what he told me. He even showed me his previous military ID card…”

“His name?”

“I don’t know. I swear I don’t know! To be honest with you, this transaction wasn’t really legal, so the both of us didn’t want to know…If he still had been a soldier, I could have sold it to him without problem, but since he retired, he became a common person, I wasn’t supposed to deal with him, especially with this…”

Seifer looked around him and saw the cameras on the ceiling.

“I couldn’t know…I’m so sorry for your family, sir. I couldn’t know…please, believe me…”

“Is the video system working?”

“Huh?”

“The cameras.” Seifer pointed it with his finger.

“Yes…”

“So, I presume you have the previous records, right?”

“Yes…”

“Show me. If this bastard came to your shop, you should have recorded his face with the cameras.”

The tenant nodded and tapped on his computer. Seifer went behind him.

“When did he come for the last time?”

“Hum…about one week ago, I guess. Let me check it…” the man continued to look for the right records when he found it. He played the video and moved back to let Seifer see.

The blonde fixed the screen with attention. The tenant put a box with several bullets on the counter and was talking and making gestures with his hands. The other customer was on his back, nodded sometimes but just listening. He was tall with black hair. He was wearing a black shirt and dark brown pants. The transaction was long because the tenant gave him a lot of explanations. At the end of the scene, the other man paid and took the box before leaving. The camera captured his face when he passed the door.

“You…you won’t denounce me? This shop is all I have…please…” begged the man to Seifer.

“How much did he give to you for this?”

“150 gils per bullet…so 4500 gils…”

Seifer pinned the man against the wall with violence. “YOU MEAN MY FAMILY DIED FOR 4500 GILS???”

“I promise I didn’t know!! I would never have sold it if I knew he would kill your family with these!! I thought it was to fight powerful monsters…I told you the truth!!”

Seifer freed him with contempt. “Give me that record.”

“Y..es..” The man, who was still shaking, managed to find the strength to get on his feet and to do what Seifer asked him. He took a disc and inserted it in his computer to put the record on it, before giving it to Seifer. “You…you won’t tell on me?”

Seifer took the record and slipped it in his pocket. “Seriously, you didn’t think it would be so easy, did you?”

“Please…”

“You have your part of responsibility in this shit. You have to pay for that.”

“But…but I didn’t know…please…please…” The man moved back, scared.

Seifer looked around him and saw a large sword. He grabbed it and walked slowly toward the tenant. “Left or right-handed?”

“Wh..what?”

“I’m asking you what hand you use.”

“R…right…”

“Well…” Seifer reached his side and captured his right hand with his. He dragged the man toward his counter and forced him to put his hand on.

“PLEASE!!! I’M BEGGING YOU!!!” Shouted the man with despair.

“You should be thankful I don’t kill you. This way, you won’t be able to create these things again.”

“I’M SORRY!! PLEASE!!! LET ME GO!!!” cried the man again and again when he saw Seifer raising the sword above his head. “PLEASE!! HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!”

On a single move, Seifer cut his right hand. The man yelled in pain. The blood gushed on the counter and on the floor. The man cried and rolled on his back holding his wound. Seifer moved back and took the phone to compose a number.

“Send an ambulance at Cloud’s bazaar immediately. The owner hurt himself.” Said Seifer before hanging up the phone. He took the time to wipe the blood on the sword and put it back at his previous place, ignoring completely the tenant’s shouts. He was about to leave when he noticed the cameras a last time. He stopped and threw a fire spell on it. The camera burned and fell on the ground, completely destroyed. Then, Seifer walked away and closed the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Later on the morning, the rest of the group woke up and joined Miss Dincht in the waiting room. She stayed there after her conversation with Seifer, hoping to have some good news to cheer her up. But nothing could really comfort her. Zell was gone and let a great blank behind him. She was praying silently, hand crossed, eyes closed when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder.

“Miss Dincht?”

“Quistis…good morning.”

The woman held her a cup of coffee. “Since how long are you here?”

“Dunno…I couldn’t sleep so I went here. I saw Mister Valentine and Doctor Geyser early this morning.”

“I just talked with them too. It’s too early to know for Lulu and Clad.”

Quistis sat by her side. Her smile was comforting for Miss Dincht. She knew Quistis always had been there for her son and she was suffering for his death. They were joined by the rest of the group some minutes later.

“Miss Dincht. Would you like to have a breakfast or something?” proposed Laguna.

“No thanks, Laguna. Quistis already brought me a coffee.”

“Okay…” Laguna looked at everyone. “Is there anyone who knows where Seifer is? We checked his room but he wasn’t there.”

“Ah? But I thought Valentine called someone to bring him in his room after his operation?” demanded Squall.

“He did. But I supposed he woke up early. Didn’t you see him, Miss Dincht?”

Zell’s mother drank some coffee before answering. “No, I didn’t see him.” She lied.

Fujin fixed her and noticed the change of her expression. She knew that Miss Dincht knew more than she said but she remained silent. She probably had a good reason and she would ask her eventually later.

“Well, it’s a good thing Seifer isn’t here because there’s something we have to tell you.” Said Squall.

Everybody looked at him, waiting for explanations.

“Irvine finished studying the bullets and he discovered that it are made with special and rare items which provoke the same effects of shell, pain and zombie spell. So the murderer knew about Lulu and Clad’s abilities and he targeted them.”

“Really? But Lulu and Clad are just children…why did he target them? It’s not like they committed crimes or something…” remarked Linoa.

“I guess he didn’t target them particularly but Seifer, and since he wasn’t at home when he came, he probably decided to kill his family…I don’t see any other reason to have shot Zell and the kids.” Replied Laguna.

“So…it would never end for Seifer. Whatever he does, his past would catch up with him…” sighted Quistis.

Selphie looked at Edea who was holding herself. Cid came back to the Garden last night and Kadowaki this morning. They couldn’t leave the Garden without commandment and medical assistance any longer. “Matron?”

“Yes Selphie?”

“I know Seifer was desperate and really depressed when he yelled at you the last time…but why did he blame you? I mean, he asked you why did you save him…but I don’t understand…”

Edea looked down. She sat on a chair and sighted before answering. “You remember the scene you saw about three years ago in Geyser’s laboratory when Ultimecia used Kronos to…hurt Seifer?”

“Yes, and what?”

“You didn’t see everything. Ultimecia noticed your presence in the castle so she stopped torturing him and let him dying slowly in agony. I ended there in the castle when Time compression started. I was looking for you to help you to defeat Ultimecia…but I found Seifer on my way…” she bit her bottom lip, trying to contain her pain. “You can’t imagine what I saw…if you had seen the miserable way he was when I found him…it was horrible…blood everywhere…he was covered by bruises and wounds…his arms had been ripped out and…he was completely naked and mutilated in every part on his body…”

“Matron…calm down…” Said Quistis, comforting her.

“I felt he was about to die so I tried to cure him…I used my best magic spells but nothing really worked…he was dying and…it was my last hope to save him so…”

“What did you do Matron? We didn’t see what happened after that because Seifer woke up during this session with Geyser…” said Squall.

“I…I gave him a part of my power…”

“Wh..What?”

“You know…a sorceress can transfer a part of her power to somebody else, the same way Ultimecia did with me…or me with Linoa…”

“But I thought sorceresses only could do it when they were about to die?”

“Yes…but at this time, she transfers all of her strength and power to someone else. When I gave my power to Linoa, I didn’t give her everything because I was still alive and conscious; that’s why she wasn’t as strong as me or as Ultimecia…”

“So, you gave him a part of the power you had left to save him…”

“Sort of…I suppose this is what it gave him the strength to survive and after that he healed himself thanks to his abilities…”

“Why didn’t you tell us before?”

“I don’t know…I didn’t think it was important at the beginning…but when I knew he heard Ultimecia’s voice, I understood it came from me. Giving a part of my sorceress’s power, I indirectly linked him to her because I kept a bond with her, as Linoa.”

“It doesn’t change anything now anyway.” Said Irvine. “With or without sorceress’s power, Seifer is still different from normal people because of Geyser’s experiences.”

“Irvine is right. The past is the past and we should stay focused on our aim: finding Zell’s murderer.” Concluded Squall. “’I’m gonna go to the commercial center with Kiros and Irvine to get some information. Irvine told us the items used for the bullets are pretty rare so maybe the weapon shop’s owner could give us details. Don’t mention it to Seifer until we find proofs. You know how he is…”

“Sure.”

“Can I come too?” asked Raijin. “I mean, I wanna help, ya know?”

“You’re welcome to join us. We should go now. The shop will open in fifteen minutes.”

“Okay. See you later, guys.”

The four men left quickly, letting the rest of the group at the Presidential Palace.

 

* * *

 

Valentine took a break to rest. He didn’t sleep a lot the previous night. Geyser neither. Strangely, he trusted him. The last night, he seemed to be really sorry for what happened to the kids and to Zell and he even thought about Seifer when he didn’t tell him he would try the experience on his husband. He looked sincere when he said he didn’t want to break Seifer and Miss Dincht’s heart giving them false hopes. Valentine was smoking a cigarette on the balcony, looking at the city view when someone called him.

“Mister Valentine?”

“Oh! Mister Almasy!”

“Sorry to disturb you. I know you worked hard yesterday…how are the kids?”

“Hum…it’s too early to tell you, Mister Almasy. We need more time…”

“I understand. Anyway, I didn’t come to see you only for this.”

“Ah?”

“Yes. I need your help.” Seifer searched something in his pocket and showed a compact disc to Valentine. “There’s someone in this record I need to identify…”

“Let’s go to the library. This way, I could view it.”

They took the elevator and went upstairs to the library, but just before entering inside of the cabin, Quistis saw them. She didn’t have the time to call them that the doors of the elevator closed. She approached and waited for the return of the elevator to know where Valentine and Seifer had gone. She wondered what was going on since the laboratory and the infirmary were at the opposite side of the Palace.

Seifer and Valentine arrived at the library and sat in front of the first computer. Seifer gave the record to him and they viewed the video.

“So? What can I do for you?” asked Valentine when they finished viewing it.

“This man on the record: The shop’s owner told me he was a former soldier of the Estharian army. Do you have a database with the identity of each soldier?”

“Yes, but it’s gonna be long to find him. We can use our facial recognition software…”

 Valentine tapped on the keyboard and opened the software. He opened two windows on the screen and captured the picture of the man on the record before using the software on the second window. After some minutes, a profile appeared.

“Done! I think this is our man: Reno Der Linde, 47 years old, captain in the army until last year. Retired few months ago. Living in Esthar city, married with two kids…”

“Can you print me his profile and his address please?”

“Sure…but who is it?”

“Someone who has some information about what happened to my family.”

When the document finished printing, Seifer grabbed it and began to leave. “Thanks for your help, Mister Valentine.”

“Mister Almasy? Wait! What are you gonna do with…” Valentine followed Seifer and tried to catch him but the tall blonde was walking fast.

Seifer was about to get out of the library when he met Quistis, opening the door. “Seifer?”

“Sorry Quis. I’m busy right now.” He pushed her away softly to pass and didn’t waste any time.

“Seifer! Wait! What’s going on? Where are you going so fast?” She called him but he disappeared quickly and didn’t let her the time to catch him. Valentine joined her.

“Miss Trepe! Where is Mister Almasy?”

“He left so suddenly… What happened with him? What were you doing here with him?”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”

 

* * *

 

On the same time, Squall, Irvine, Kiros and Raijin went on the commercial center. The shops started to open their doors but Cloud’s Bazzar was still closed.

“Is it the closing day?” asked Squall to Kiros.

“No. Cloud’s bazaar is always open…” Kiros tried to force the entrance but the door stayed closed. He went to the next shop to ask information. “Excuse-me Miss, did you see the owner this morning?”

 “You didn’t hear what happened? Apparently, the owner hurt himself this morning with a sword. The neighbors heard him screaming and called the police. An ambulance came to pick him at 6:30 a.m…but I don’t know any more about it…” Explained the library’s owner. The little woman shook her head sadly. “I hope he’s fine. He’s a good man…I’m gonna visit him this afternoon…”

“Thank you, Miss.” Kiros waved at her and turned his attention on Squall. “Let’s go to the hospital. I’ll call the police station on the road.”

The four men walked toward the first floating platform. During the road, Kiros called the police station with his cell phone. They already questioned the owner about the incident and he seemed to have hurt himself accidently, so they didn’t continue the investigation.

“So?” asked Irvine.

“The tenant is at the hospital. He cut his right hand this morning with a sword…”

“Is he conscious?”

“Yes. They kept him because he needed to receive a prosthetic hand.”

“Hum…he hurt himself pretty bad…” said Squall.

 

They arrived fifteen minutes later and went straight to the secretary. They asked his room and entered in the emergency service to visit him. They knocked at the door.

“Come in.”

The men entered. The tenant was lying on his bed with a large bandage covering his right hand. He frowned when he saw his visitors.

“Who are you?”

“Kiros Seagill, President Loire’s minister. This is Mister Leonhart, Mister Kinneas and Mister Raijin. How are you feeling, sir?”

“I’m fine now…thanks for asking.”

“Did they give you painkillers?”

“Some morphine…”

“I see. Can you tell us what happened?”

“Hum…” The man was a bit stressed. “What for? I don’t think it was that important to send you to visit me…”

“It is. President Loire is aware of the safety of all the citizens. Please, tell us.” Insisted Kiros.

“I…” The man hesitated but finally answered. “I hurt myself manipulating a sword…”

“How?”

“I…I put it quickly after had sharpened it to do something else and…the sword fell and cut my hand…”

Kiros gave a glance to Squall, Irvine and Raijin. No one seemed to be convinced by this story. The man was obviously lying.

“I see…” Kiros cleared his throat and moved closer. “We won’t disturb you any longer but before leaving can I show you something?”

“What?”

Kiros took the bullet in his pocket and showed it to the man. “Did you ever see this thing before?”

The man moved back with fear and started to realize the real reason of Kiros’s visit. “He…He told you, right?”

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“He told you…I thought he wouldn’t tell on me…but it wasn’t enough to hurt me…he denounced me…”

“Wait…who are you talking about?”

“I swear I didn’t know what would happen. I couldn’t know!! I shouldn’t have made it but…I needed money and…please, you have to believe me!!”

“Okay, calm down and breathe slowly.” Reassured Kiros. “So, you definitely didn’t hurt yourself alone this morning and you know something about this bullet. Tell us.”

“But…”

“Who did that to you? Why?” asked Squall.

“He…he’s gonna kill me if I tell you…”

“Is he your limited partner? You made these bullets for him, right?” demanded Irvine.

“I did these bullets but the customer is not the one who cut my hand…”

“Then, who?”

The man bit his lips with stress. “The…the sorceress’s knight…”

“W..What?”

“He…he came to my shop this morning and he asked me the same thing about the bullet…he said his family had been shot with it and…he threatened me…”

Squall shook his head, sighting. “Seifer…”

“What happened next?”

“He beat me and he forced me to tell him the name of the customer…I told him I didn’t know and…he checked the records of my cameras and took it…and he cut my hand with a sword. He said…I had a part of responsibility and I had to pay for this…”

“Who is your customer?”

“I don’t know his name…and this knight bastard took my records. He even destroyed my camera…” The man sighted. “You won’t…take my shop right? I swear I didn’t know…”

“If you’re really that innocent, you have nothing to fear, but I promise if you didn’t tell us all what you know…”

“No! I promise! This is all what I know!”

Kiros’s cell phone rang. He left the room to answer. Squall, Irvine and Raijin followed him outside.

“I understand now why Seifer wasn’t there this morning…” said Irvine.

“He heard us yesterday. That’s why he knew about the bullets and where to search information…” added Squall.

“We should go back to the Palace to talk with him, ya know?”

Squall was about to answer but they turned their attention on Kiros.

“Are you sure about this?” demanded Kiros, talking on the phone. “Yes…I’m with them…yes…okay, send me the address and I’m gonna check it. I hope it’s not already too late…yes…yes…okay. Bye.”

Kiros hung up and looked at his cell phone. Some seconds later, he received a message and moved toward Squall, Irvine and Raijin.

“What’s wrong Kiros? Who was it?”

“Your father. I’m afraid Seifer already found the man who shot Zell and the kids…he left the Palace about thirty minutes ago. We have to stop him before…let’s go.”

Kiros started to walk and the others followed him. They took another floating platform.

“How did he discover his identity?”

“He used the records he stole at Cloud’s Bazaar to identify the man. Apparently, the tenant told him he was a former soldier in the army. The camera captured his picture and when Seifer came back to the palace, he asked Valentine to help him. They used the facial recognition software we have and he found his identity. He left after that. Quistis tried to stop him but when she understood the reason he left so suddenly, she came to say everything to Laguna…”

“Hyne…I hope it’s not already too late…” prayed Irvine.

 

* * *

 

Reno woke up lately this morning. The kids didn’t have school today so he stayed at home with them. It was also his wife’s day off so he could enjoy some free time with his beloved family. Reno was a handsome and tall man with short brown hair and blue eyes. He always had been respected by the other soldiers when he was on the army. He was strong and brave with a good sense of loyalty and integrity. He retired about few months ago, after the ceremony of Ultimecia’s death that President Loire organized. He couldn’t have supported to hear Loire’s speech about the sorceress’s knight. Actually, he became furious and disgusted about his own country and authorities for which he fought during all these years. He felt betrayed and gave his resignation. Almasy was a bastard and he never forgave him. But knowing that the President requested forgiveness for him and even thanked him for his actions was intolerable for Reno. Too much. It was really too much. He lost faith in the justice of Esthar and decided to avenge himself. Of course, a part of him had some regrets…but the bastard Almasy deserved it. He was the one to blame.

In the middle of the morning, his wife, Sasha, was preparing the lunch. She was beautiful with her long blond hair and her blue eyes. She was shorter than him and was always wearing a mid-length skirt with a top. She was really feminine and elegant. Their kids were young: eight years old for the little boy, Tellah, and five years old for the girl, Rydia. The two children were helping their mother to cook.

Reno was reading the newspaper in the sofa, when someone knocked at the door. He turned his attention on his wife.

“Are you waiting for someone, darling?”

“No…maybe the neighbor needs something? You can stay, I’m gonna check it.” Replied Sasha.

“Thanks.”

The woman wiped her hands with a towel and went to open the door when Reno heard her screaming.


	13. The monster

Reno ran toward the entrance, but he heard someone was dragging his wife with him. He took a knife quickly in the kitchen and came back. He made a sign to his kids to hide under the table in the kitchen, ready to rescue Sasha, when a tall man threw her on the floor roughly. Reno recognized immediately the sorceress’s knight. He checked if his wife was okay. She seemed to bleed from the corner of the mouth but nothing serious.

“Mister Der Linde I presume?” smirked Seifer evilly.

Reno went to his wife. “Darling…are you okay?”

“Y..yeah…”

Seifer moved closer, dangerously. “I suppose I don’t need to present myself, do I?”

The man raised on his feet, holding the knife toward Seifer. “Fucker…what are you doing here?”

“I visited the weapon shop this morning…and I had a friendly conversation with the owner. Only 4500 gils for my husband and my children’s life…I’m hurt. I thought they would have been more valuable…”

“It wasn’t indented to them but you.”

“That’s what I thought. But it’s still a small price for the sorceress’ knight…” Seifer made some steps without never stop fixing him.

Reno was moving away slowly, not because of the fear but to prepare his attack. “You don’t deserve that I spend even one cent for your worthless life.”

Seifer looked around him and saw the two children, under the table. “Such a nice family. Come on guys…” he called the little girl and her brother, moving in their direction.

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM!!!” Sasha went on her feet again and jumped on Seifer who just pushed her away with a single blow. The violence of the hit made her flying on the whole living room before crashing against the wall.

“MOMMY!!!”

“FUCKING BASTARD!!! YOU’RE DEAD!!” Reno charged him, but Seifer didn’t have any problem to avoid him.

 He grabbed his hand, holding the knife, and punched his head several times. He already broke his nose and some of his teeth with the strength and the violence of his attacks. He dragged him by the hair toward the first table and slammed his head again and again until the wood cracked. The kids were crying and yelling because of the fear, but nothing seemed to have an impact on Seifer. He finally released Reno, throwing him on the floor. Seifer had some of his blood on his hands but he didn’t care. He even took the time, taking a chair to face the couple, knocked.

“This is an evidence that I’m gonna kill you. But before this, I want to know why you targeted me.”

Reno spat some blood, with hatred and contempt. “Why..sh..ould i..tell..yo..u?”

“You will. That’s what happened every time at the end of the film. You know, the time when the villain tells everything to the good one…”

“Who…wh..o is..the good..one here? YOU??”

“No. I was. I mean, I’ve tried to be like this but you made me change my mind. So, let’s say that we’re two horrible bastards. Now, talk.”

“I’m not..afr..aid of you, Son of bitch!!” Reno ran again toward Seifer who just lifted his hand to slice his waist with the knife. The man fell on his stomach directly against the cold floor.

“AAarrgg..hhh…” he moaned in pain.

Sasha moved to his side to rescue him but Seifer threw the knife just in front of her. “Don’t even think about this.”

She froze, terrified.

“So, I repeat: why did you aim me?” asked again the blonde.

“Fu..uck you..”

Seifer laughed. “I see you’re stubborn. It’s gonna be fun…” He approached to his wife. “Maybe should I ask directly to your beloved wife?”

“Do..don’t you dar..e…”

Seifer dragged the woman by the hair roughly, ignoring her shouts, cries, and despite the fact she struggled with all of her strength, nothing could break Seifer’s grip. He threw her on the ground, on her back, and pressed his foot on her throat. He was playing with a knife in his right hand.

“LET HER GO!”

“Why should I do that? Did you give this chance to my husband or to my children when you shot them?”

The man ran toward him but Seifer hit his stomach with his knees, which made Reno spiting blood before falling on the floor again. The kids in the kitchen were crying, hiding their faces with their small hands. Seifer turned his attention on the woman again and made her raise on her knees, still pulling out her hair. He placed the knife on her throat, staying on her back. He was fixing Reno behind her.

“Do you still refuse to talk? I could end her life with a single move…”

“Wh..hat  d.o you..wann..a know?” whispered the man with difficulties.

“I want to know the reason why my family died.”

“Yo..u…you..are..the..on.ly respon..sable on their..death..”

“So you targeted me? Why did you shoot them, then?”

“be..caus..e you…it..was unfair..”

“What?”

“Your..life…your h..appiness..and all..you..didn’t..deserve..it..”

“Why?”

“You..you took my children’s lives…during this fucking..war…” The man sat, back against the wall.

Seifer fixed him and released the woman, ready to listen to his story until the end. She crawled toward the kitchen to protect her children.

“My daughter…died in the destruction of Trabia Garden…and..you..killed my son when you..captured Ellone…” The hatred the man was feeling was so big that he couldn’t hide it in his expression. “My daughter..was a fifteen-years-old teenager. She just entered at Trabia Garden and..she chose this place because it was the closest one from Esthar. I even couldn’t have given her proper funerals because they didn’t collect her entire body, but just some parts like a leg or an arm…”

Hearing this story, Seifer recalled his own demons: another life he took during the war. It would never end.

“My son…was in the army, as me. He was a young recruit…and the best of his unit. I was so happy when he told me he joined the army to become like me…I thought..i thought I could protect him and he would help me to protect our country…and that’s what he did, giving his life, fighting you!!”

Seifer remained quiet.

“Don’t you remember it? The young man…who tried to protect Ellone from you..the man you sliced the throat and you beheaded…do you remember it now???” shouted Reno.

The tall blonde made a pause, thinking. He recalled this time. They had located Ellone, spying the conversations of Esthar intelligence service. They went there and he had to fight against two soldiers who came to pick her. One of them had been particularly brave, fighting against Seifer, but the second one just ran away after had seen the easy way that his colleague had been killed. Galbadians had shot him on the back. 

“You remember, do you?”

“Yes, I do. But your son was a soldier. He knew the risks and we were in a war.”

“WHAT DOES IT CHANGE? YOU TOOK MY CHILDREN’S LIVES!!!”

“I paid enough for my crimes.”

Reno began to laugh. “You…paid enough?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”

“You can’t understand.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FLYING SHIT!!”

“Then, why didn’t you come to kill me before? What did you wait for it so long?”

“I didn’t know where you were. I thought you died…and President Loire talked about you and your family for the celebration of Ultimecia’s death. He talked about the things we OWED you, about your pains, and last but not least he said you were a HERO! A HERO! YOU?!”

The scarred blonde didn’t say a word, impassive.

“I sacrificed my entire life for my country! My children gave their lives to protect people in Esthar…to hear that the murderer who killed them is a hero…It was so unfair…my own country, my President that I trusted and for who I fought, betrayed me, glorifying your name!!”

“…”

“And after had done all of this mess, you’ve had the right to come back to your life with your kids and your lover. You were happy with a family, a job and a respectable reputation. People completely forgave and forgot that you were the sorceress’ knight, Ultimecia’s lapdog, a war criminal…when you took me everything. It was unfair…”

“I deserved you hatred. But not Zell and my kids. They were innocent. Why did you punish them at my place?”

“My kids were innocent too, but it didn’t stop you.” He smirked sadistically. “You were the one I wanted to kill when I came to Winhill, but I didn’t find you. But when I saw your husband, I recalled my children and I wanted you live the same pain you gave to me, so I took their lives, the same way you took my kids’ lives.”

Seifer’s anger was now uncontrollable. “Trabia would have been destroyed with or without me. I killed your son, yes, but it was a fight between two soldiers. You…you shot an unarmed man and on two defenseless kids…just because they were my family?! And you dare calling me a criminal?!”

“You killed your own family at the second they became a part of your life. They would be still alive if it wasn’t because of you. You’re the one to blame here.”

Seifer started to laugh, becoming crazy. “Yes…yes, you’re right. After all, I’m a monster…” he moved closer to the man, dangerously. “I could have understood if you had attacked me directly…but killing my family was the last thing to do…now, I have to punish you.”

Reno spat at him. “I don’t fear you. There’s nothing worse you could do me.”

“Are you sure about this?” Seifer raised his hand in front of his face when he reached his side. His hand changed, mutating and becoming long claws. He moved closer and pierced the man’s stomach with it.

“AAAAAAAARRRRRGGhhhh!!!!!!”

“RENO!!” yelled his wife, hiding the face of their children with her body.

“The physical pain is nothing compared to the psychological torture. It would be so easy to kill you this way. I just hurt you to block your mobility…” explained Seifer smirking. He pierced his legs with the same hand.

“AARGGhh!!! BA..BASTARD!!”

“You will hate me even more after what I’m gonna do…” Then, Seifer moved away, going to the kitchen. The woman raised on her feet, putting herself between their children and him.

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY KIDS!!”

The blonde just slammed her face which made her flying in the living room, next to her husband. The kids were under the table, crying and shaking. At this moment, Seifer couldn’t see young and innocent children but Lulu and Clad’s bodies, shot everywhere.

“Come on Kids…let’s play.” He took the two children by the legs, dragging them in the living room, to face their parents.

“DAD! DAD!!” yelled the little boy.

“MOMMY!! HELP ME!!” cried the girl, desperately.

Seifer let the boy fall on the floor, blocking his moves with his foot but was still holding the girl by the hair.

“PLEASE! I’M BEGGING YOU! RELEASE THEM!! PLEASE!!” begged the poor woman.

“BASTARD!! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCHING HER!!!”

“MOMMY! MOMMY!!” shouted the girl, struggling.

Seifer lost his humanity, ready to commit the unforgivable. “You should have never touched my children…now, LOOK THEM DIE ONE AFTER ANOTHER!”

The blonde pierced the body of the little girl form the back. His entire arm went out of her chest, spilling blood everywhere. The poor child died immediately, keeping her eyes wide open, and stopped struggling.

“RYDIA!!! RYDIA!!!!!”

Seifer released her, throwing her little body to their parents. The woman crawled toward her, holding her child in her arms crying, still in shock, and still hoping to save her.

“RYDIA!!! HONEY!!! WAKE UP!!!”

Reno was completely frozen by the terrible scene, seeing his daughter, dead, on his wife’s arms. He was still incapable to move because of his injuries. “No…no…NO!!!! NO!!!”

“DAD!! MOMMY!!!” cried the little boy still under Seifer’s foot.

“Don’t worry my boy. It’s your turn, now!” The scarred blonde grabbed the boy by the hair and prepared his attack.

“NO!! NO!!! STOP IT!!!”  Sasha released her girl and ran toward Seifer to save her son, but she hadn’t been fast enough.

“NO!!! TELLAH!!!!” yelled Reno in vain.

Seifer let the boy fall on the floor after had killed him the same way. His body had been collected by his mother just before touching the floor.

“TELLAH! TELLAH!! SWEETIE?!!” asked his mother, shaking his body.

But the boy was already dead. He had no reaction at all…he was covered by blood and had a big hole in his chest, as his sister. The poor mother was devastated…incapable to react, as if she had been killed on the same time. She was holding her son’s body, crying…and wondering if all of this was real.

“No…No…Tellah…my boy…” cried Reno.

Seifer didn’t let the time to the mother to cry her children that he grabbed her hair. “You didn’t need to bother my Lady…I was about to pick you next, but since you’re here, I’m gonna send you to join your kids. A mother should never be divided from her children after all…”

Reno understood too late that his wife was the next victim but didn’t have the time to react. At the moment he turned his head to see Seifer, he already killed her the same way, piercing her chest from the back with his long claws.

“SASHA!! SASHA!!!”

The woman fell like a stone on the floor, convulsing. She didn’t die immediately as her children and was in the agony. Seifer moved away toward the kitchen to grab a knife and returned to her. During this time, Reno had tried to crawl toward her but he was too slow.

“Sasha…Sasha…my love..no…no…”

“Don’t worry for her, I’m a gentleman. I’m gonna end her torment.” Then, he planted the knife in her heart before twisting it in the wound. When he thought it was enough, he removed it and turned his attention on Reno.

“S..Sa..Sach..a…no…no…It ..can’t..” he looked around him. Rydia, Tellah, Sasha…all of them were dead. It wasn’t a nightmare but the reality. It was real. His whole family had been killed in front of him…and he had been incapable to protect them.

“I’ve tried…I’ve tried so hard to become a good person. I’ve done everything to stay out of this world…I just wanted to live with my lover and my kids. I asked nothing else…and you arrived. You took me everything.” Said Seifer walking toward the desperate man.

 “You woke up the monster who was sleeping in me…you paid the consequences. To use your own words: you’re the one to blame.”

 

* * *

 

During this time, Miss Dincht was waiting in front of Lulu and Clad’s room. Laguna organized a reunion with Ward, Selphie, Quistis, Ellone and Edea in his office to talk about their last news about Zell’s murderer. Fujin stayed with Miss Dincht. She was fixing her from the back.

“Miss Dincht?”

“Yes, Fujin?”

“I brought you a tea.”

“Oh…thank you my dear.” The woman took the cup of tea.

“You’re welcome. You shouldn’t stay in the corridor. Let’s go in the waiting room. This way you could rest a bit.”

“Sure…”

They walked toward the room and sat, facing each other.

“Where’s your son, Fujin?”

“In my room. He’s still sleeping.”

“I see…he’s an adorable child…”

“Yes…” Fujin approached to sit near of her. “You know something about Seifer, right?”

“Sorry, I’m confused…you mean about your son?”

“No, I talk about your son-in-law. You know where he went, do you?”

“No…I don’t.”

“Miss Dincht, we’re alone. You can tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“I saw your expression when we asked you this morning where he was. You know something.”

“No…I promise, I absolutely don’t know where he went.”

“But you know why he left.”

She looked hesitant but understood it was useless to lie to Fujin. She already seemed to know. “Yes…he left to search…Zell’s murderer.”

“What did he say about this?”

“Nothing…when he left this morning, he didn’t know who he was looking for…but he promised me he would find him. I swear I don’t know anything else.”

“I believe in you.” Fujin crossed her hands together. “It seems that he already found him anyway. Laguna told us that he took the identity of a former soldier in the estharian army in the database…”

“Really?”

“Yes. Raijin called me on the road. Apparently, Seifer visited the weapon shop this morning and “questioned” the owner to have his identity…”

 “He “questioned” him?”

“He beat him and…he cut his right hand. The owner did the bullets which have been used to kill your son and the kids…so Seifer told him that he had to pay for his actions and this way, he wouldn’t be able to do it again…”

“We’re lucky he didn’t kill him.”

“But he will kill the other one, for sure…”

“I know.”

Fujin looked at her. Miss Dincht smiled sadly and decided to be honest with her.

“You’re probably gonna find me rude but…I asked him to kill him…and to make him suffer.”

Fujin remained quiet, a bit surprised by her confession.

“I know what you can think about me…but this monster took my son’s life…my only son…and he shot my grandchildren. You can’t…you can’t understand how much I’m suffering right now…just because of him, and for what? I even don’t know! I don’t know why my son died, why my grandchildren are in life support…and why all these things happened!!” cried the poor woman. “I know…I know it’s unfair to ask this to Seifer…but…”

“I don’t blame you, Miss Dincht.”

“No need to lie…I disgust myself…I asked this to Seifer knowing how much he’s suffering. I’m horrible…”

“No Miss. You mustn’t feel that way…besides, Seifer would have done it even if you wouldn’t have asked.”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes. I know him better than anyone. He will do anything to avenge Zell and his children.” She took her hand with her. “He really loved Zell and I don’t think he would be able to recover from his death one day…”

“I know, Fujin…I saw it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone loving Zell the way he did…I understand why my son was so happy with him.”

“Yes…”

“Oh…Fujin. Why everything has to be so painful?” Asked Zell’s mother, putting her head on Fujin’s shoulder.

“I can’t tell you, Miss. I wish I could…”

 

 

In Laguna’s office.

“So? Who is this man?” asked Selphie.

“A former soldier in the army. According to his file, he’s married and has two young children.” Replied Laguna.

“But why did he do that?” demanded Edea.

Quisits looked down. “I think…he targeted Seifer. We read that…he lost two other children in the war: his daughter in the destruction of Trabia Garden and his son. He was in the army with his father and was in charge to protect Ellone, when he has been killed by Seifer.”

Ellone held herself, shaking, remembering this time. “When we came back from space, my capsule crashed somewhere…I don’t remember where, but when I went out, two soldiers were already there to protect me. Seifer and galbadians soldiers arrived few minutes later and chased us. One soldier fought against him bravely but…” She made a pause, enduring to recall this painful memory. “Seifer…sliced his throat. The other soldier ran away but the galbadians shot him on the back…and they brought me with them.”

“So…I suppose the man he killed was the son of Zell’s murderer?” asked Selphie.

“Yes…but if it’s him who did that, I don’t understand why he waited for this until now…” said Laguna.

 “Is he still in Esthar city?”

“I think so. I hope Squall, Kiros, Raijin and Irvine would arrive in time to stop Seifer…” prayed Laguna.

 

* * *

 

The four men arrived as fast as they could, reaching Reno’s place. But the building seemed to be empty. Since it was in the middle of day, people were working so there was nobody there.

“This is here.” Said Kiros.

They looked for the name on the list at the entrance.

“Found it: Mister and Miss Der Linde. Third floor, apartment 358.”

They took the stairs and rushed toward the place. But on the road, they could see some traces of blood on the stairs or on the banister. They looked each other, worried.

“Hyne…don’t..don’t tell me…” murmured Irvine.

“I hope it’s not already too late. Hurry!” replied Kiros, speeding up.

They arrived in front of the door. Squall tried to open it but it seemed to be locked. There was blood again on the door handle.

Raijin made a sign to the others. “We don’t have the time. Everyone back off!”

People moved on the side and the strong man rushed toward the door, breaking it with his weight and his strength. When the door cracked, they went inside, following Raijin, but unprepared to see the terrible scene.

“Oh…no…no…” murmured Raijin who saw it first.

Four bodies on the floor, mutilated and covered by blood. Two young children, a woman and a man. It was a vision of nightmare.

“Hyne…” whispered Irvine, moving away, disgusted.

“We came too late…” Kiros shook his head sadly. “Such a massacre…he even killed the children and the woman…”

Squall covered his mouth with his hand, horrified. “Seifer…what have you done?”

The children had been killed by a single move because they just had one large wound on the chest. The woman was wearing two injuries: one similar to the kids’ one and a second which seemed to be a knife wound on the heart. But the man had been clearly tortured more than the others. He had been beheaded. His two legs and two arms had been ripped apart and were in different part of the living room. To push the horror to the extreme side, his head had been sliced in two parts. Some bones, teeth and parts of the brain were strewn on the ground, which disgusted the four men.

“I..I’m gonna call your father…” said Kiros, trying to keep his composure.

“Need some fresh air…” added Irvine, leaving the place.

Only Raijin and Squall stayed. Seifer’s friend looked at the brunette, worried. “I can’t believe he did that…”

“It can’t be anyone else, Raijin. You know it.”

“Yes…but Seifer would never had killed innocents…especially kids, ya know?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore…”

 

 

Laguna arrived one hour later with Selphie, Quistis and Ward. When they entered in the apartment, they could see by themselves the massacre.

“What a nightmare…what can we do now?” said regrettably Quistis.

“Do you know if somebody saw it or if there was a witness?” asked Laguna to Kiros.

“There seems to have nobody in the building so I don’t think somebody saw or heard anything.”

“We have to hide this information to the press or to the public.” He scratched his hair before fixing Ward. “Ward, Kiros: call reinforcements and bring their bodies to the laboratory discreetly…and send someone the clean the place and the stairs. We don’t need to provoke any movement of panic…”

“Yes.” Agreed his friends who left immediately.

“What about Seifer?” asked Quistis.

“We’ll deal with him later. I suppose he came back to the palace now.”

“Do you think so?” wondered Selphie.

“His children and Zell are still there. There’s no way he would have left like this, cowardly.” Exclaimed Raijin.

“Raijin is right. I don’t see him running away from his crimes.” Confirmed Squall.

“Well, there are a lot of things I didn’t suspect in him…for example to have the guts to kill innocent people like a woman and two children!” replied Laguna, furious. “Let’s wait the reinforcements and we’ll return to the palace.”

 

* * *

 

Miss Dincht fell asleep in the waiting room. She was exhausted to wait. Fujin and Edea were in the corridor, in front of Lulu and Clad’s room.

“Do you think they can survive?” asked Fujin to Edea.

“I can’t tell you. I pray for this but…without Zell, Seifer won’t be able to take care of them alone…”

“Yes…”

They suddenly heard steps on the corridor. Fujin was on her back so she hadn't seen Seifer coming, contrary to Edea who blinked when she saw him covered by blood.

“SEIFER!” she shouted, scared.

Fujin turned around immediately, blinking when she saw him too.

“Anything new about Clad and Lulu’s condition?” he demanded straightly.

“No…but..but…what happened to you??” replied Edea.

“You’re covered by blood!!” exclaimed Fujin, panicked.

“This is not mine.”

“Wh..what???” blinked the two women.

“This is not my blood.” He repeated calmly.

They looked at him, terrified and shocked, starting to understand the meaning of his words.

“Oh God…Seifer…”

“Where is Ma?”

“I’m here, Seifer.” Said a third voice from behind.

Seifer turned around and faced her. She kept silent when she saw in what kind of state he was but she didn’t panic or anything. Since she heard everything, she understood the situation. She moved closer and took Seifer’s hand with her.

“So…you did it, did you?”

“Yes Ma. It’s done.”

She sighted, relieved. “He got what he deserved.”

“Yes.” He tried to release his hand from her grip but Miss Dincht didn’t let it go, as if she wanted to share the guilt of his crimes. She wasn’t afraid to be soiled by the blood of Zell’s murderer…actually, it alleviated her to know that he was dead now.

“I’m gonna see Lulu and Clad. Come with me.” Asked Miss Dincht to Seifer.

“Sure.”

They left and reached the room where the two kids were healed, ignoring Fujin and Edea. The two women were still stunned and were incapable to move or to say anything.

  

* * *

In Esthar, the bodies had been collected in the utmost secret. Laguna returned in his office, thinking about the situation. He had asked to Squall and the rest of the gang to not speak with Seifer, at least for the day. No one was ready for a confrontation with Seifer. At their return, Fujin and Edea had told him that Seifer came back.

 

Quistis arrived in front of Laguna’s office and knocked.

“Come in.”

“Do I disturb you?”

“It’s not the right timing but you can stay.” He gave his last instructions to Kiros and Ward. “Do it quickly, guys and keep it secret until I tell you.”

“Understood.” They left, letting Quistis and her husband alone.

“Did you see him?”

“Yes. He’s still with Zell’s mother in Lulu and Clad’s room. I didn’t talk with him.” Said Quistis.

“Hum…”

“He’s…not presentable. He’s still covered by blood…”

“I can guess!!” replied with irony Laguna.

“What are you gonna do with him?”

“What do you think I should do? You saw what he did!!”

“I know but…”

“Seifer or not, he’s not under the laws!!”

“Zell’s death broke him. He wasn’t in a normal state and…”

“Quistis, stop defending him!! He’s a murderer!!”

“This man killed Zell and shot two children!! Don’t you think he had a reason for this??”

“BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN AND THE KIDS?? YOU SAW IT!!”

She looked down, uncomfortable. “I know…but…”

“Quistis, I can’t close my eyes and do as if nothing happened. It’s not a simple question of revenge. Seifer killed a whole family.” He took the file on his desk and held it to her. “The legist made the autopsy and told me that the kids and the woman died first, so he pushed the horror to make him see their death before torturing him. We’re not talking about the Seifer we know anymore…but about a criminal.”

“What are you gonna do to him?”

“I’ve no other choice.”

Quistis began to fear the worse. “Don’t…don’t tell me you’re gonna arrest him?”

Laguna kept silent, fixing her.

“Answer me!”

“Can you leave, please? I have to call other people.”

“Laguna, answer me!!”

“LATER!!” He yelled, getting up. “We’ll talk about it later. Leave…please.” He said finding his calm again.

“Don’t…don’t do that, please.”

“It doesn’t please me to do that, Quistis. I’ve tried to clean Seifer’s reputation…but he ruined everything. We won’t be able to hide what he did indefinitely…and he can’t be excused for his crimes. The children and the woman were innocent. He didn’t need to kill them…”

 “Please…” she begged, crying.

“Honey…go take care of Auron. I’m busy right now…we’ll talk about it later.” He concluded, kissing her forehead.

Quistis stayed on the same position during a short time, before accepting to leave. She knew Laguna was right but she couldn’t accept it. When she finally left, Laguna took his phone and composed a number.

“Geyser. Come in my office right now with Valentine, please.” He hung up the phone and waited for them.

 

* * *

 

Seifer never left Lulu and Clad’s side since his return. He didn’t bother to change. Miss Dincht didn’t question him about what happened. She actually didn’t want to know and didn’t care. She just needed to know that Zell’s murderer paid for his crimes and suffered. It was enough for her. She stayed by Seifer’s side, fixing her grandchildren sadly, remaining silent during a long time.

After some hours, Squall joined them.

“Seifer…I need to talk to you. Can you come with me please?”

“Coming…” He got up and smiled to Ma.

They went outside, on the corridor. Squall faced him, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Spit it out, Leonhart.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“The woman, the kids…what did you need to kill them too?”

  Seifer couldn’t help to laugh. “You..ask me why? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”

“Squall!” said another voice from behind.

“Dad?”

“Leave us alone, please.”

“But…”

“I said : LEAVE!.” Repeated Laguna with authority.

Squall moved back, a bit surprised by the sudden authority of his father but didn’t contest and left. Seifer kept his eyes on Laguna, impassive. The other man was clearly furious.

“Since Squall already asked you this, I don’t need to repeat the question. So?” he asked.

“You just have to turn your head on this way to have your answer, Laguna.” Replied Seifer showing Lulu and Clad on their room.

“I know what this bastard did to your family. He deserved to die…but not his family. They were innocent, Seifer!”

“ZELL, LULU AND CLAD ALSO! THEY WERE INNOCENT TOO BUT HE DIDN’T MIND TO KILL THEM!!”

“YOU DIDN’T NEED TO DO THE SAME THING!!”

 “BUT I ASKED NOTHING! I WAS HAPPY WITH MY FAMILY, FAR AWAY FROM EVERYTHING WHEN THIS SON OF BITCH CAME TO MY LIFE!!”

Laguna stopped shouting, trying to find his calm again. He breathed slowly, rubbing his forehead.

“Seifer…do you realize in what kind of situation you put me?”

“I know and believe me, I’m deeply sorry for it, Laguna. You’ve tried to rehabilitate me but…this is because of the speech you did during the celebration day that this bastard decided to avenge his kids killing my family. You couldn’t know and I don’t blame you but…don’t expect any regret from me.”

“I understand your pain…but you went too far killing the children and the wife…I can’t…”

“Do what you have to. I don’t care anymore. I won’t run away.”

Seifer turned his back to him, ready to come back in the room with Miss Dincht.

“Do you think Zell would have approved this? Do you think he would have done the same thing to avenge you?”

Seifer stopped and turned around. “I’m not Zell, Laguna.” He smiled sadly. “You know…I understood two things today. First: I will never let anybody blame me for my crimes or my past anymore. I will never find redemption anyway so it's useless…”

After a long silence, Laguna demanded “…and two?”

“Two: if everybody is convinced that I can’t be anything else than a monster, there’s no point to try to be something else…this is what I am: I’m a monster.”

Then, he left. He was about to return in the room but he changed his mind and walked in the opposite direction. Laguna looked at him leaving, without even try to convince him he was wrong. Actually, he didn’t know himself what to think.  


	14. Interminable wait

Seifer returned in his bedroom. He stripped completely and went in the shower without even checking the temperature of the water. He needed to clean the blood on his body. The water became red quickly, mixing with the blood, letting appear his white skin. He was fixing the walls in front of him, like a zombie.

 

**Shiva: “See…it didn’t appease your pain.”**

“Why are you still talking to me?”

**Shiva: “I don’t know…I just want to give you support.”**

“It doesn’t explain why.”

**Bahamut: “Because it was what Zell would have wanted…that someone could stay by your side whatever it could happen.”**

“He wouldn’t have thought this way if he had seen what I’ve just done.”

**Ifrit : “You’re wrong.”**

“Am I?”

**Ifrit: “Yes. He loved unconditionally, for what you are.”**

“For what I am…bullshit.”

**Diablo: “Well, it’s true that if he had been you at his place, he would have killed this bastard, but not his entire family…”**

**Shiva: “Here we go again! If you can’t say something good, just shut your fucking mouth, Diablo!”**

**Diablo: “What for? I’m just telling the facts! We can’t run away from our true nature…and he perfectly knows what he is…since he said himself.”**

“A monster…”

**Diablo: “Correct!”**

**Shiva: “GET OUT!”**

“Stop it, Shiva…he’s right. We can’t deny what we are…and this is my true nature.”

**Bahamut: “Your true nature? Do you think it’s that easy? Do you think there’re two sort of people: the good and the bad ones?”**

“The only thing I know is that I’ve never been on the right side…”

**Ifrit: “You would be already dead if you haven’t been.”**

“It would have been better for everyone.”

**Bahamut: “Do you want to die?”**

“…”

**Bahamut: “We can grant your wish if this is what you want.”**

**Ifrit: “What about Clad and Lulu? Did you forget that she saved you more than once from yourself? Can’t you be strong for her and for your son just for once?”**

“But…they will become like me! If they survive, their life would become a nightmare each passing day…because of me. I love them. I love them so much…how..how could I face them? How could I explain to them that their dad died because I killed people in my past? How could I raise them with the same hands I used to kill innocents??”

**Shiva: “Seifer…”**

“You wanna know something? I don’t regret it at all!! I know I would do it again. It made me nothing to kill two kids and a defenseless woman…nothing. Do you think I could be a good father for my own children? Who on this earth would like to let a monster like me raising young kids?? I even fear myself!”

**Diablo: “…what do you think Zell, Lulu and Clad felt when this bastard came to your house? Your children saw their father dying…they saw their beloved daddy falling under the bullets of a stranger without even understood why…before dying at their turn. Don’t you think your pain was enough to justify your actions?”**

“I’m not different from him.”

**Daiblo: “Yes…you did the same thing. But you didn’t start this. Zell was a hero and saved this world from Ultimecia with his friends, but this bastard didn’t hesitate to shoot him and to execute your children without mercy. What did he expect? Did he really think that you would have accepted this without even try to avenge your family? He exposed his wife and his kids to your anger at the second he took Zell, Clad and Lulu’s lives.”**

“…”

**Diablo: “Everyone in this world has a dark side. Don’t feel different from the others because they would have done the same thing at your place…and no one is at your place right now. See: even Zell’s mother who is usually a kind woman, reacted this way after her son’s death. When people reach their breaking point, they change to let the darkness take their soul…we are all the same.”**

“Do you think that’s what it is?”

**Diablo: “Yes. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth. That’s the only law.”**

 

 

At the end of his shower, Seifer left the bathroom and lay on his back, on the bed, still wet. He was fixing the ceiling, sadly. He knew he had to be strong for his kids…but he couldn’t help to think about Zell…recalling his smile, his joy, his kindness.

 

_“You know what? Irvine is gonna ask to Selphie!”_

_“What? The cowboy??”_

_“Yes! I was a bit surprised too, but he told me he really wanted to marry her. Do you think she would say yes?”_

_“Dunno…knowing Selphie, she’s probably going to accept just to organize a party!”_

_“Come on Seif! Don’t be so rude with them!”_

_“I’m not rude. It’s just impossible for me to see them married.”_

_“What about us? Did you ever imagine I could have become your husband one day? And don’t say yes because I wouldn’t believe you!”_

_“So…this is not a real question but a rhetorical one if I can’t reply freely.”_

_“Ok…just reply honestly. Did you or not?”_

_“…No I didn’t.”_

_“See!”_

_“BUT this is the same thing for you.”_

_“I don’t deny it.” Zell approached and enrolled his arms around Seifer’s shoulders. “But I couldn’t have wished a better catch than you!”_

_“Me neither…”_

_The two lovers began to kiss with passion, completely forgetting what they were doing, ready to have sex right now, on the kitchen counter, when they heard Lulu and Clad running._

_“Vivi! Zelly!”_

_The two men broke the kiss and moved apart immediately from each other, blushing._

_“Hey, guys! Time for lunch. Did you wash your hands?”_

_“No need. It’s clean!” Clad showed his hands to his parents._

_“Don’t be lazy, boy, will you?”_

_“But it’s clean, Vivi! And I’m super hungry!”_

_“Wash your hands first. You too, Lulu.”_

_“Ok…come with me Clad!”_

_“Coming, sis!”_

_Zell and Seifer looked at their children leaving for the bathroom, smiling._

_“Don’t tease me that way, in the middle of the day. It was close!”_

_“What? I didn’t tease you at all.”_

_“Yes you did. How could I resist when you say I’m so perfect…”_

_“Wait, wait…I never said that!”_

_“Yes! You said I was the better catch you could have had!”_

_“It doesn’t mean you’re perfect!”_

_“So…I’m not?” asked Seifer with puppy dog eyes._

_“Well…I have to admit you have good points…”_

_“Like what?” demanded Seifer kissing his neck._

_“You’re…gorgeous, well-built, funny…”_

_“Hum…what else?”_

_“You’re…pretty good in bed…”_

_“Only in bed? I can take you wherever you want, Honey!”_

_“You know what I mean, ok? I mean you’re good for sex!”_

_Seifer laughed, continuing to kiss him. “What else?”_

_“I could tell you other things as…I love to see you being a good father…and a good lover…that’s all what I need.”_

_The scarred blonde stopped to look at Zell in the eyes. “You know what? As long as I can stay with you, Lulu and Clad, I’m happy. I don’t need anything else.”_

Seifer opened his eyes, feeling the tears coming. “I didn’t need anything else…”

 

* * *

 

Valentine was still in Laguna’s office. Geyser went back to the laboratory to watch Lulu and Clad’s condition.

“Do you think it could work?”

“I don’t know, Mister President. I mean…I was a bit surprised that Doctor Geyser proposed it…”

“Yes. It doesn’t sound like him…but if it could work, it would be great. Did you inform Miss Dincht and Seifer?”

“Not yet, Sir…”

“Why?”

“We…we thought it would be better to wait to tell them. I mean, if it doesn’t work, Miss Dincht and Mister Almasy would be even more devastated.”

“I understand…but Miss Dincht requested the body of her son to prepare the funerals. What am I supposed to say?”

“I know…”

“Didn’t you notice some changes in Zell’s condition?”

“It’s too early, Mister President…and to be honest, with the last events, we didn’t have the time to check it. I was about to do it with Doctor Geyser when you requested our presence in your office.”

“Where’s Geyser?”

“He went back to the laboratory, to check the kids’ condition. We noticed some significant improvements.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but I need to go back to them to tell you more. Can I?”

“Sure. Call me when your report would be ready. You’re dismissed.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Chad was about to leave when Laguna called him.

“Mister Valentine?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t need to remain you to keep the other problem for you. Don’t talk about it with anyone…even to my wife. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Thanks.”

Then , Valentine left his office and returned in the laboratory. Geyser was writing something in a book note, looking at Lulu’s analysis.

“Doctor Geyser?”

“Did you finizh your meeting with the Prezident?”

“Yes. He’s waiting for our report on the children’s condition…and also on Mister Dincht.”

“I know.” He made a sign with his head to invite Chad to follow him. They went on his desk. “Theze are the lazt analyzez. Look.”

Valentine checked quickly. “It looks good…that’s wonderful! It works!”

“Don’t claim victory too fazt, Mizter Valentine. The analyzes are good, yez, but it doezn’t mean that the kidz wouldn’t mutate.”

“What?”

“The adamontoize’z cellz worked and healed their woundz. It alzo regenerated and reinforced their immune zyztem. But Zeifer waz conzciouz and healthy when he ztarted to train to control hiz power. Bezidez, he waz ztronger than them…but in the end, it didn’t ztop the mutation procezz. Before Zeifer, I didn’t know it waz pozzible that zomeone who mutated could recover hiz human form, keeping hiz abilitiez and hiz powerz. But it would be harder for the kidz, ezpecially for the boy.”

“Why?”

“The girl knew how to uze her power before. I ztudied it and I dizcovered it waz a zenzitive one to begin with. Her zenzibility waz particularly higher and zhe could perceive emotions through people’z reactionz.”

“Mister Almasy told us she could read people’s thoughts.”

“No. I don’t think zhe could have done it…it waz zomething more…complicated.”

“Like what?”

“There’z zomething more…I think zhe didn’t read thoughtz…but zhe guezzed it.”

“How?”

“I remembered zomething. When I performed experiencez on Zeifer’z body, he reacted with g-forcez’ cells. He waz freezing from the inzide and nobody knew how to calm him…except the little girl. Zhe knew exactly what to do…”

“And so?”

“It’z not juzt a queztion of power…zhe underztandz people’z mind better than themzelvez. That’z why zhe could “read” people’z thoughtz.”

“So…you think she understood and guessed people’s thoughts before themselves? That means she is…a genius?”

“Maybe. I need to talk with her father to confirm it.”

“What about the boy?”

“Actually…the boy iz the complete oppozite. He didn’t develop any pzychological power like hiz zizter…but a physical one.”

“Ah?”

“Yes. I remarked hiz reflexez were more zenzitive and developed than the little girl when we tranzplanted cells on hiz body. He seemz to accept it better…”

“I talked with Mister Almasy. He told me the boy didn’t have any power.”

“He had. He just didn’t know how to uze it. He feelz phyzically everything more than anyone.”

“How can you know it?”

“I ztudied the way hiz immune zyztem reacted to the cell tranzplant. It took lezz time for him to azzimilate it than the little girl. I need time to learn more.”

“Ok…what can we do with Mister Dincht’s body?”

“Follow me.” Geyser walked toward the next room where Zell was. They entered. “Look at him.”

Valentine approached and observed him. “He…”

“Hiz vital functionz are still inactive but az you can zee by yourzelf, hiz body seemz to react to Zeifer’z cells…”

“Hyne…it’s incredible. Do..do you think it could work?”

“It’z too early to zay it…”

“I see. Should we talk about this to them?”

 

Geyser didn’t have the time to answer that they heard someone coming in the other room. They went back there. Quistis, Irvine, Seifer and Miss Dincht were here.

“Hi everyone.”

“Mister Valentine, Doctor Geyser.” Replied politely Quistis.

“Something new about the kids?” demanded Seifer.

“We need more time, Mister Almasy…but their condition seems to improve slowly.”

“Really?”

“Yes but it’s too early to claim victory…”

Seifer sighted, depressed. Miss Dincht took his hand to comfort him.

“Zeifer, there’re zome information about your children I’d like to azk. Could we go zomewhere elze to talk pleaze?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go in the waiting room. Everyone is already there. “proposed Irvine.

 

They left the room. Seifer gave a last glance to his kids before joining the group. They sat and faced Geyser.

“What do you wanna know?”

“Let’z ztart with the little girl.” Geyser asked to Valentine to take some notes in his book note. “Can you tell me about her power?”

Seifer crossed his arms and began to speak: “She could use magic without being junctionned, the same way I do…and when I met her, she could read people’s emotions. She had a sensitive power…and with the time, her power developed and she could read people’s thoughts. She supported pretty well the junction with me…I don’t know what I can tell you more…”

“Didn’t you notice zomething particular in her? I mean…how waz zchool for her?”

Seifer frowned. “Why do you ask me that?”

“Juzt tell me. I need to confirm zomething. Zo?”

“Well, she never really liked school. She got bored really fast…”

“Did zhe have difficultiez for her homework or zomething?”

“No. When I asked her if she needed help, she always said she was fine…” Seifer was a bit lost. “But what is the point with her power??”

“Actually…I think your daughter iz a geniuz, Zeifer.”

“A…genius?” blinked the tall blonde.

“Yez. I think zhe got bored becauze zhe waz very intelligent and in advance for her age. Zhe zeemed to develop a zpecial zenzibility with the power zhe received from her mother and from you. I don’t think zhe could really read people’z thoughtz. Thiz kind of power never appeared in my guinea-pigz before…did you train her?”

“Yes.”

“Zo did you notice how zhe reacted to the alteration zpellz?”

Seifer took the time to think. “Now you mention it, each time a monster casted this kind of spell on her, it never worked…I thought it was because she became stronger…”

“No, I don’t think zo. The little girl developed a hyper zenzitive power which immunized her againzt the alteration zpellz. Zhe waz more zenzitive to the emotionz in a fight or in the common life, zo that’z why zhe could read people’z emotionz. Her intelligence did the rest: actually, zhe didn’t read people’z thoughtz, zhe guezzed it thankz to your emotionz…”

“Lulu…” sighted Seifer. “What would happen to her power now? Can she survive?”

“Zhe will zurvive…but I don’t know if zhe would be able to keep her human form…”

“She..is gonna mutate??”

“Az I told you, it’z too early to zay it. But Mizter Valentine confirmed you that their condition improvez.”

The blonde hid his face with his hands, exhausted.

“What about your zon? What waz hiz power?”

“Clad didn’t have any power. I even never junctionned myself with him.”

“The fact he didn’t uze any power doezn’t mean that he didn’t have one, Zeifer…”

“What do you mean?”

“During our obzervation, I noticed hiz body zeemed to azzimilate better than hiz zizter your cellz. It lookz like he haz a ztronger conztitution becauze the bulletz didn’t have the zame effectz on him.”

“How? Tell me”

“The bulletz the murderer uzed had zeveral kind of spellz. The effectz of the alteration zpell were lezz important in your daughter, zame for the boy, but they didn’t react the zame way.” Geyser understood he had to be a bit clearer. “Ok. You know there’re different kind of magic spellz: elementary, white magic, otherz which affect your mind like madnezz or fury…and otherz which affect your phyzical condition like poizon for example, alright? Zo, what I want to explain iz that your children react differently to theze spellz. Your daughter iz pretty good with the spellz affecting the mind and zhe zeemz to be immunized againzt it, when your zon iz better with the spellz affecting the phyzical condition. Do you get it?”

 “But…Clad didn’t have any power! You’re wrong…”

“I’m not zure but I think he didn’t know how to uze it. Hiz power waz zleeping in him. I just guezzed it obzerving his body’s reaction…”

“And…what kind of power do you thing he could have had?”

“I can’t know.”

“So in other terms, there’s nothing you can tell me right now? We have to wait?!”

“Yez.”

Seifer had enough and got up. “Ok…can you at least give us Zell’s body please? We need to prepare his funerals.”

Valentine looked at Geyser, who looked Laguna, embarrassed.

“Hum…we need to fix Mister Dincht’s body and face before Mister Almasy…” said Valentine.

“It won’t change anything anyway. Give us his body please.” Requested Zell’s mother. “I wanna bury him near of his father and his grandfather in Balamb…”

Seifer noticed something was wrong in their attitude. “What is it?”

“Hum…nothing…”

“There’s something. Why did you look each other with Laguna this way?” he demanded.

“Mister Almasy…”

Geyser put himself between Valentine and Seifer. “I think I owe you zome explanationz, Zeifer.”

“Spit it out.”

Laguna shook his head to warn him but Geyser nodded as if he wanted to reassure him saying that he knew what he was doing.

“I decided to…tranzplant zome of your cellz in Zell’s body.”

Seifer became furious and grabbed his collar with strength. “YOU WHAT????”

“Mister Almasy! Wait!!”

“Seifer! Stop it!” said Laguna.

“WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THIS? HOW COULD YOU HAVE DESECRATED HIS BODY WITH YOUR FUCKING EXPERIENCES??? DIDN’T YOU HAVE ENOUGH WITH ME AND MY KIDS THAT YOU NEEDED TO DO THIS TO HIM???”

“Mister Almasy! It’s not what you think!!”

“FUCK OFF!! ZELL IS DEAD! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT DOING THIS TO HIM?? IT CAN’T CHANGE ANYTHING!! YOU’RE JUST A FUCKING PERVERT!!”

Seifer was out of control, ready to kill Geyser when the little doctor managed to speak.

“He…re..acted…”

Seifer released him immediately.” Wh..What???”

Geyser fell on the floor heavily, holding his throat to find some air again. After few seconds, he recovered his breath and went back on his feet.

“He didn’t come back to life…but the decompozition procezz ztopped.”

“Wait…that’s impossible!!” exclaimed Squall.

“Yez it iz. Zell waz already dead zince a long time when you brought uz hiz body. After the operation, we decided to tranzplant zome Zeifer’s cellz on hiz body. Zince thiz moment, I noticed zome of the zcarz cauzed by the impactz of the bulletz ztarted to heal…the cellz begin to regenerate hiz body. It doezn’t mean that he would be brought back to life and that hiz vital functionz would work again…but if there’z a chance for thiz, we have to try…”

Seifer sat back heavily on his chair. Miss Dincht covered her mouth with her hand, enduring the shock of this revelation.

“Why…why didn’t you tell me before?” asked Seifer.

“We waited for more results to talk about this. We didn’t want to give you false hopes…” explained Valentine.

“Zell…” murmured Miss Dincht.

Seifet took her hand to give her some comfort before fixing his attention on Geyser. “Do you think it can work?”

“It’z too early to…”

“I don’t want facts or observation…I want your point of view. Do you believe in this?” asked again Seifer to Geyser.

The doctor crossed his hands behind his back. “I do.”

Valentine approached. “But you have to keep in mind that it can turn bad…or it may not work, Mister Almasy…you must prepare yourself to the worst.”

“It can’t be worse than that…but if there’s a single chance that it could work, I wanna keep faith.”


	15. Time after time

_“Morning Love.”_

_Seifer opened his eyes slowly. He recognized the scent and the blissful smile of his husband. “Morning Honey.”_

_Zell enrolled his arms around Seifer’s shoulders and rolled his whole body on the top of him, kissing the shape of his neck._

_“What time is it?” asked Seifer, caressing Zell’s hair._

_“It’s still early…” replied his lover kissing him tenderly._

_“Do we have the time for…”_

_“It depends of you…” answered seductively Zell going down slowly. “But I can at least help you to…wake up.”_

_“I’m already up.”_

_“Yes…I see that.” He said, sliding a hand in Seifer’s boxer and touching his hard cock._

_“It tickles!”_

_“What? I barely touched you and you are already like this?”_

_“Don’t flatter yourself that much, Baby. It’s the morning so…”_

_“Really?” teased Zell._

_“Well…I have to confess you help a bit…”_

_“Just a bit?”_

_Seifer pushed him on his back and went on the top of Zell. “Ok, I lied. It’s entirely because of you…”_

_“Good to see that the proud Seifer Almasy finally learned to be humble…”_

_“You always liked my proud side, admit it.”_

_“I liked it…but sometimes you were a complete asshole!”_

_“What about now?” asked Seifer, smiling._

_Zell grabbed his face with his hands, covering his cheeks with it. “You can be a dick when you want…”_

_“Wanna see me acting as a “dick” now?” demanded Seifer, tickling him._

_“Ah! Stop it!”_

_“I can’t stop! I’m a dick, remember?”_

_“No, no! Aah! It tickles! I take back what I said!”_

_“Ah? Then, I wanna hear real apologies!”_

_“I’m sorry! Ah ah!! Stop it!”_

_“That’s not enough…”_

_“Ok, ok…you’re perfect! You’re perfect! Please..ah..” laughed Zell, trying to control his voice._

_“That’s better!” Seifer stopped torturing Zell and kissed him again, before rolling on his hip. He lay by his side, admiring his lover._

_“I thought we could visit Ma at Balamb this week. What do you think about this?”_

_“Sounds nice. I’ll buy our tickets for the ferry online tonight.”_

_“But if you have other plans, we can visit her later…”_

_“It’s fine. There’s a long time I didn’t go to Balamb anyway. This way, we could see the rest of the gang.”_

_“Yes.” Zell took Seifer’s hand and looked at his ring. “It’s gonna be the anniversary Saturday…”_

_“The…anniversary?”_

_“The anniversary of the day you made your demand…”_

_“You remembered it?”_

_“How could I have forgotten?”_

_“That’s not important. I mean, it’s not as if it was our wedding anniversary.”_

_“It’s important for me.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because…you gave me a biggest proof of love, asking me that. You proved me I was right…”_

_“About what?”_

_“About what I felt for you.” Zell blushed._

_“What is it?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“You’re blushing…and you didn’t explain me what you meant. Tell me.”_

_“You’re gonna laugh if I tell you.”_

_“I won’t.”_

_“Promised? You won’t laugh?”_

_“Yes, promised. Trust me. So?”_

_“Well…after the war, I kinda missed you. The Garden, life…it wasn’t the same thing without you. When Lulu told me she liked me because she felt that I loved you, I didn’t understand immediately. I thought I was just feeling compassion for you…but when I confessed you at Deep Sea center, I felt…you were my soul mate. I felt it wasn’t just a crush or something light between us. So, when you asked me to marry you, you comforted me in my feeling and I understood you felt the same thing for me…”_

_Seifer smiled with happiness. “You’re the only one who can make my heart beat so fast. Promise me…promise me you’ll stay with me forever.”_

_“Hey! I already promised you when we married, remember?”_

_“I know…but tell me again, please.”_

_“I love you, Seifer and i will always love you, until death do us apart.”_

_“I love you too.”_

 

Seifer opened his eyes abruptly. He looked on the other side of the bed, but the only thing he could see was the empty place of Zell. Just a dream…again. He wasn’t at Winhill in his bed with his husband, but at Esthar, in a room, alone. The tears came to his eyes.

“The death did us apart…” he said out loud, crying, recalling his terrible reality.

 

* * *

 

One month passed and things didn’t change a bit. Lulu and Clad were still on life support and Zell’s condition didn’t improve. The decomposition process stopped, yes, but his vital functions were still inactive. Every day, Seifer woke up after had made the same dream…He and Zell, waking up in each other arms. Sometimes, in his dreams, Lulu and Clad joined them, surprising them in their intimacy but it wasn’t a problem. The memory of a happy life that he would probably never find again appeased his pain for a short time before bringing him back to the reality, breaking his heart a bit more every single day.

The gang went back to the garden but kept contact with Quistis to have some news about the kids and Zell. Raijin and Fujin also returned to Timber to run their shop. Only Ma stayed at the presidential Palace with Seifer. Fortunately, Quistis was there to comfort her and Seifer.

 

 

Seifer got up like every day with the same feelings: hope and pain. Each morning, he hoped Valentine and Geyser could give him good news about the kids and Zell, but it was always the same answer: we need more time. He heard these words so often that he could tell when they were about to repeat it just seeing their face. After had heard the same thing, the hope vanished to let the place to the pain. It was like this every day. But today, when he arrived in front of Lulu and Clad’s room, he has been surprised to not see his son, by Lulu’s side. Valentine was with her, checking her condition. Seifer entered without knocking.

“Oh! Good morning Mister Almasy!”

“Where is Clad?” asked directly Seifer without bothering to say hello.

“Hum…we moved your son in a different room…”

“Why??”

“Because…we began to notice some signs of…mutation.”

“Mu..tation?”

“Yes. We took some blood samples and we noticed some of his cells already mutated, so we preferred to divide him from his sister.”

“What about Lulu?”

“Nothing special for now on, but it doesn’t mean anything.”

“I want to see my son.”

“Sure. I’ll show you the way. Come with me.”

Before leaving with him, Seifer reached Lulu’s side and caressed her pale face. He kissed her forehead lovingly and left with Valentine. They walked together on the corridor, keeping silence. It was still early in the morning and everybody was still sleeping.

“Something new for Zell?” asked Seifer.

“No…I’m sorry.”

The blonde sighed, even more depressed than usual. “It’s already a month since he received my cells but nothing changed. Do you think he would ever wake up one day?”

“Hum…Mister Almasy…”

“You can call me Seifer. I think we know each other enough to not have to be so formal.”

“Ok…Seifer. To tell you the truth, I’m not optimistic…”

“I see…”

“But…a part of me wants to believe in this. I refuse to think everything would end this way, so I say to myself that if the word “miracle” exists, it should apply…I mean at least sometimes.”

Seifer smiled hearing these words. “Such a touching way of thinking…I didn’t know scientists believed in miracles.”

“Scientists are humans, you know?”

“That’s not what I meant. I thought you stayed focused on rationality rather than counting on miracles and faith…”

“Actually, until now, I was like this. When people talked about religion, faith and all, I didn’t believe in it. But it’s when I saw you with Mister Dincht that I changed my mind…”

“Why?”

“Hum…you know, I’ve been in love too and I saw beautiful stories, like the one between Miss Trepe and President Loire…but I’ve never seen such a strong story like you had with Mister Dincht. I understood what the word “love” really meant when I saw how much you two were important for each other…”

“Really?”

“Yes. By the way, I didn’t have the time to thank you to have invited me at your wedding…”

“Seems a long time ago…but I owed you so much, Mister Valentine. I’m really thankful for what you’re doing for me.”

“I wish I could help you more.” Chad blushed but kept his eyes on Seifer. “It’s not in my habits to say that, but…don’t lose hope for your husband. Your kids will wake up and survive, but I know it’s hard to believe in Zell’s recovery. Just…keep faith. Maybe it’s cruel to give you false hopes like this but deep inside, I believe he will wake up.”

“Thanks. I’ll remember it.”

They arrived in front of another door. “This is here.”

They entered. Geyser was already checking Clad’s condition, writing some notes on his book. He turned around to see them when he heard them coming.

“Zeifer. What are you doing here zo early?”

“How is he?” demanded Seifer ignoring his question.

“Fine for now. But unfortunately, the mutation procezz already ztarted…” Geyser removed a part of Clad’s shirt to show to his father some red marks on his stomach.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. I’m ztill working on it.”

“Can’t you do anything to stop the mutation? I didn’t mutate immediately so…”

“You’re different from your children. The boy’z caze izn’t zimilar.”

“His name is Clad.” Said Seifer, irritated. Hearing this perverted man calling his son “the boy” was just exasperating. 

Geyser nodded without adding another word. He understood he better not push Seifer too far or he could regret it.

The tall blonde stayed several minutes by Clad’s side before leaving the room to wait outside. There was nothing he could do, except waiting and waiting again. He returned in the waiting room and sat on the chair, keeping his head down. He was holding it with his hands.

 

 

**Diablo: “It begins.”**

”I know.”

**Bahamut: “Don’t cry.”**

“I don’t.”

**Ifrit: “That’s not what you’re doing…”**

“I’m not crying.”

**Shiva: “You’re crying, not physically maybe but your heart is crying.”**

“My heart is bleeding.”

**Ifrit: “You’re crying on your sort. Don’t you have enough to look down on you?”**

“There’re a lot of things I have enough, especially hearing your fucking voices in my head!”

**Diablo: “You shouldn’t hate it that much. After all, we’re the last persons who support you.”**

“You don’t support me. You just tell me what I should feel or do. You can’t understand anything…”

**Shiva: “We understand more than you can imagine, Seifer.”**

“How?”

**Ifrit: “We haven’t always been g-forces. There was a time when we were humans too.”**

“…”

**Bahamut: “At this time, we were like you.”**

“You mean a fucking failure?”

**Shiva: “No. We were like you and Lulu.”**

“I don’t understand. What do you mean like Lulu?”

**Bahamut: “Do you remember what I told you about fate?”**

“And?”

**Bahamut: “Nothing happens without reason. Your existence isn’t worthless as you can think.”**

“I can’t understand a damn thing about what all of you say! Tell me!”

**Ifrit: “You wouldn’t believe us if we tell you.”**

“Let me decide it by myself. Tell me.”

**Shiva: “You have better things to deal with right now. But just remember one thing: you must live.”**

“Why? What for? To cause more pain and desolation?”

**Diablo: “For the people who gave their lives to save yours.”**

**Shiva: “And for all of us.”**

“What the fuck are you telling me??”

 

 

But the g-forces stopped talking when they felt someone coming to Seifer.

“Seifer?”

“Oh…Quis. Sorry, I didn’t know you were here…”

“It’s ok. I just arrived anyway but you seemed to be lost in your thoughts…”

“Nothing important, I guess.”

She sat by his side and caressed his hair motherly. “You look so tired…”

“I am.” Feeling a gentle touch made him feel better. Quistis’s kindness really helped him. “Quis…why are you here?”

“What?”

“Why are you so nice with me? You know what I did to avenge Zell, Lulu and Clad. How could you stay so kind with me even after what I’ve done? Don’t you fear me?”

“Seifer…”

“I know Laguna is mad at me. Squall and the rest of the gang avoid me. Even Raijin and Fujin are distant even if they keep calling me and all…I know, I know I disappointed everyone with my cruelty. I’ve ruined everything Zell, my kids, your husband and everyone did to make of me a respectable person…but you’re still there to comfort me. Why?”

She held his hand. “When…Cid called us to tell what happened to Zell and the kids, I couldn’t believe it. It’s when I saw them at your house that I understood it wasn’t a nightmare. I still can remember everything…the white sheets covering their bodies, the blood and the bullets on the floor…each time I think about this, it breaks my heart.” She stopped talking to put a hand on her heart.

“Quis…” Seifer rubbed her back slowly to calm her.

“You know, when we were at the orphanage, Matron made me promise to be there for all of you if something would happen to her. She said she trusted me because I was the eldest of us and that I knew what to do and what to say…I took it seriously and I did my best to take care of all of you…but I failed.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I never managed to help Squall after Ellone’s departure. I couldn’t have helped you when we were at the Garden. I couldn’t have stopped you when you ran to Timber. I wasn’t there to protect you from these monsters who abused you…I wasn’t there to protect Zell either at Trabia…or at Winhill. I failed lamentably…I should be the one to ask why you don’t hate me…” She hid her face to cry, but Seifer took her in his arms, hugging her tightly.

“My, My…Quis, you’re still the same after all this time.” He said with melancholy. “Matron told you this because she wanted to make you feel needed. You always needed to be useful for people. You wanted to help everyone, to appease pains and sorrows. But you took her at her word. She didn’t want to put so much responsibility on your shoulders. I’m so sorry if you felt responsible for all of us during all this time. It never has been your fault and you did enough for us.”

“You…think so?”

“You worked so hard at the Garden to be able to help us for our graduation. I failed because of myself and not because you did it wrong. You never managed to help Squall because he always refused your help…”

“But…I could have stopped you at Timber.”

He sighted. “How many times are you going to blame yourself for this? It would have changed nothing! Galbadia Garden would have enrolled you to kill Matron and I would have gone to join her later. You couldn’t have stopped me, whatever you would have done.”

“But…I didn’t try to save you when you were in Ultimecia’s hands.”

“I wouldn’t have listened to you anyway. What does it change?”

“It changes…everything. I never loved Squall more than you or the other ones. All of yours always had been my family. But despite of that, I’m sure I would have done more to help Squall if he had been at your place…and I hate myself for this.”

He laughed at her, but not nastily. “Don’t you know why?”

“I’ve no excuse for that…”

“It’s because you know that you would have succeeded if he had been in my place.”

“What?”

“Quis, Squall and I are completely different. Why do you think he passed his exam and I didn’t? It was because of what you taught him. He listened to you, even if he never showed it. He trusted you and he knew he could count on you. Yes, he was cold and distant. But it didn’t mean that he didn’t care about you. During all these years at the Garden, you watched him. You protected him from himself, and even against me. You pushed him to be the best and it worked. Deep inside, you knew you had a place in his heart, even if it was a small one. So, if he had been at my place, you would have succeeded for saving him. But it was different for me.”

“Why?”

“Because I refused your affection. When I arrived at the orphanage, I knew I was different. I didn’t want to let people know about me, so I closed my heart. Squall kept some hope to be loved and be cherished again so he never entirely closed his heart like I did. That’s why it worked with Linoa, contrary to me. But I couldn’t keep hope as he did. I didn’t remember my parents at this time, but I recalled my adoptive ones and Hyperion. I never forgot the pain I endured when I was rejected. I recalled the fear to lose someone precious like I felt when Hyperion died. He was just a bird but he was my only friend. For my adoptive parents, even if a part of me hated them, I felt responsible of their death and I missed them because they were all I had. I was scared to be found again by Geyser but I was also terrified to cause other deaths around me, so I kept you away.”

“Seifer…why didn’t you tell me?”

“I hated this world. The hatred made me feel better. I couldn’t feel the pain of the guilt anymore and it made me feel strong. I wasn’t scared anymore. I felt…invincible.”

“You’re wrong. You loved us…I know it. When we read your thoughts, I felt how much you cared about us and about…Zell.”

“You don’t understand. You can’t change your feelings but you can refuse to let it affect you. That’s what makes me different from Squall. We both cherished all of you. We both had feelings. But even if Squall never showed it and stayed cold, he always did the right thing to protect all of you. Not me.”

“No…it can’t be…”

“He went to space to rescue Linoa. He didn’t hesitate when Zell was about to be killed at D-District Prison. He went to Trabia for Selphie after the destruction of the Garden. But contrary to him, I would have never done it for all of you. I was even ready to kill my loyal and only friends at Lunatic Pandora. Contrary to Squall, I always went against my feelings. I didn’t listen to my heart doing the right thing because I thought I would suffer again. I thought about myself only, completely ignoring the consequences it could have had on you, guys. Now, do you understand what kind of “human being” I am?” he said with anger.

“You’re not like that, Seifer.”

“Yes I am! I have always been like that, Quis! That’s the real person I am! A selfish and ungrateful man!!”

But it was Quistis’s turn to hug him.

“Quis, let go!”

“No.”

“You owe me nothing. You couldn’t have done anything to help me. I refused your affection and your help. If…if you stay, I will hurt you like I hurt Zell, Lulu and Clad…Please, let go. I don’t…I don’t wanna do the same mistake…please…”

“I won’t listen to you, Seifer. Not this time.”

“Please…I will hurt you…”

“Don’t be scared. I’m with you and I will be forever here for you. I won’t let anybody hurt you again.”

“Zell and Lulu used to tell me the same thing and look what happened to them…Let me go, Quis. Run far away from me while you still have the chance…I don’t want to hurt you but I will…”

“That’s not what you want.”

“What I want doesn’t matter. I prefer to see you safe rather than by my side in danger…”

She made him lift his head to be able to see his eyes. “You talk about Squall, why don’t you do the same thing he did? He expressed his feelings and now he’s happy with Linoa. Why don’t you let us help you?”

“Quis…I did it with Zell. I let him help me. You can’t imagine how happy I was when he told me he loved me. I started to open my heart with Lulu, but there were some scars she couldn’t have healed…”

“You talk about the…”

“The rapes, yes.” He looked down. “I couldn’t speak to Lulu about this. She helped so much but I couldn’t overpass it. It came back to my mind every time I was alone, when I tried to sleep…the nightmares haunted me. Lulu did her best to comfort me, but there was nothing to be done. But Zell did. He loved me knowing that and despite our past. I remember each word of his confession…and I understood how much he loved me. He overpassed what I’ve done to him, the humiliations and all. He kept the same feelings for me. He waited for me…he gave me a real family and for the first time in my life, I was really happy.”

“I know…”

“But…I destroyed everything again. This man came for me, but he found Zell, Lulu and Clad. They were innocent and they paid at my place.”

“You couldn’t know, Seifer.”

“I’m tired, Quistis. I’m tired to feel guilty. I’m tired to see people dying around me. My parents, my adoptive family, Hyperion, Zell, Lulu, Clad…I can’t hold it anymore. Whatever you could say, I don’t think all these people had to die to save my life. I never asked for it…”

“It wasn’t your fault…”

“Enough to hear the same thing. It’s MY FAULT! Yes I didn’t want it, but it happened BECAUSE OF ME! I’m related to their death. I’m not blaming myself all the time by pleasure, but it’s the truth and whatever you can say, you know I’m right.”

She kept silent, knowing he had a point.

“I’m not masochist, you know? You should know better than anyone to have been my instructor that I’m not this sort of man who looks down on him all the time. But I’m exhausted to feel guilty. I thought going against my own feelings would protect me from the pain…but I was wrong, again. I want to end this...whatever I try to do, I fail.”

 She put her head on his shoulder. “I wished I could tell you something comforting...but I don’t find the right words. When it comes to you, I don’t know what to do…”

“I know.”

“It’s not what I mean.”

“Whatever.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Please…we managed to make Squall stop saying that. Don’t start saying it too now!”

“Stop wasting your time, Quis. It’s a losing battle to change me.”

“Zell succeeded.”

“And it killed him.”

She was out of words, so she decided to be honest with him. She faced him, still holding his hands. “Ok, I’ll be straight. You’re right: people died because of you. Your parents, Zell…”

He smiled sarcastically, as if he wanted to tell her he already knew it.

“BUT!” she said before he could speak. “You didn’t ask or want it. All of this happened because of your existence but you didn’t kill them with your own hands.” Seifer was about to answer but she cut him again. “I know! It doesn’t change anything. The result is the same…but have you ever wondered why people were willing to give their lives for you?”

“No…”

“Then, think about it.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know…maybe to give a sense to your life?”

“…”

“Seifer, listen: I know what you can feel. The feeling of the guilt to never have been able to be there for you always haunted me. You’re precious to me, as Squall and the others are. But you’re the one I never managed to help, despite the fact you were probably the one you needed it the most. I know what it is to see someone suffering and to not be able to do anything or to see that whatever you could do, nothing would work. That’s why I understand your pain. It isn’t equal, of course…but it’s almost similar. I know you want to run away from everything to not hurt anyone…” She rubbed his cheek with the back of her hand. “But I also know that a part of you wants and needs support desperately. I can’t predict the future. I don’t know what would happen…maybe your presence would cause other troubles or other death…but despite of that, I don’t want to give up on you.”

“Why?”

“Because this time I won’t fail. I will save you from yourself.”

“It doesn’t explain why.”

“Because you are my friend and…I owe this to Zell.”

“You’ve done enough for him, Quistis.”

“Seifer…there’re so many things you don’t know about me.”

“What do you mean?”

She held herself with her small arms. “I quitted the Garden to live with Laguna, but there was another reason which encouraged me to leave sooner…”

“What reason?”

“I’ve never told it to anyone…even to Laguna.”

“Tell me.”

She blushed and became nervous. “Do you remember…Ryan?”

“Ryan? You mean the man who failed to his exams on purpose to be on your class and who stayed most of his time at the cafeteria talking about you?”

“Yes…”

“I remember him. I put him in detention so many times because he skipped class I lost count. But why are you talking about him?”

“One day, I went to the training center. It was late on the night and I couldn’t sleep. I was fighting some monsters when he came to talk to me…”

Seifer noticed the way she became tense. “And?”

“And…he confessed me again. Each time he did it, I turned him down, but he kept hoping. I was particularly annoyed this night so I’ve been a bit rude with him. I wanted to make him give up on me once for all. But things turned bad…”

“What happened?”

“I hurt him and he lost his self-control. He casted a stop spell on me and…”

“Oh no…Quis, don’t tell me he…”

“He started but he didn’t go all the way…thanks to Zell.”

“Zell?”

“Fortunately, Zell was training too this night and he heard him.”

“So Zell saved you?”

She smiled. “He did even more…”

“How?”

“He…killed him.”

Seifer blinked hearing that. “Are you…serious?”

“When Zell saw Ryan abusing me, he jumped on him and he beat him to death. I’ve never seen him so furious in my whole life…and when he finally stopped, he went to reassure me…he promised me he would never tell it to anyone…”

“Quis…”

“He threw Ryan’s body to a T-rex and no one ever knew what happened really. I was so shocked this night that I didn’t find the courage to go to see Kadowaki, so Zell brought me in his room and he took care of me until I finally got better.”

“Hyne…”

“It..it could have been worse than that. But I felt so weak and disgraced that I couldn’t even stay at the Garden anymore. I used my status of Balamb ambassador to stay out of the Garden as much as I could…and I met Laguna this way. Thanks to him, I found confidence again and now I’m happy with him and our son…”

“I didn’t know anything about this. Zell never told me.”

“He held his promise and he didn’t tell to anyone, even to you. I understand what you could have felt when these monsters did that to you, even if I didn’t handle one percent of what you endured…but I know this feeling. I suppose it’s even harder for you knowing you’re a man and a strong one…”

“But the shame you’re feeling is the same.”

“Yeah…” she kept some seconds to breathe slowly to find her composure again. “I’m so thankful to Zell. But I wasn’t there to protect him when it happened at Trabia…”

“Oh no, Quis. Don’t blame yourself.”

“I can’t. He saved me but I wasn’t there for him…or for you. When you arrived at Esthar, I wasn’t there to protect you against the guards…but we were in the same place. I should have come to see you sooner and nothing would have happened.”

“To use your own words, you couldn’t know.”

“I owed this to Zell and I let the person he loved being raped. I was under the same roof as you, Seifer! You’re my friend ; this thing happened to you just under my nose and I didn’t know! I couldn’t have done anything when you were with Ultimecia, but this time was different!”

“Quis, stop it…”

“Wanna play the game of the guiltiness, Seifer? You’re blaming yourself all the time but what about me? My friend saved me and killed my rapist. But I couldn’t have done anything when it happened to him and to his lover. I was supposed to protect you with the others and I never managed to help you Seifer. And as if it wasn’t enough, Zell and your children had been killed by someone coming from our army in Esthar! You blame yourself but you never blamed me, even if I deserved it. If you’re gonna hate yourself for what happened to Zell, and your children, then, hate me too.”

After this long conversation, the both of them were exhausted. Recalling these bad memories was difficult, but dealing with the guilt was even more painful.

“Seifer, things don’t go the way we want. I understand what you feel. Feeling guilty knowing that we’ve never done or wished all what happened is really hard to deal with and the only way you can overpass it is to have someone by your side. I have Laguna and my son…but you don’t have the same chance. Now Zell, Lulu and Clad are in this state, I don’t want you to think you’re alone. I know you need support. Even if you push me away, I’ll stay by your side. I’m not doing it only for Zell but also for you.”

He held her tightly against his chest, burying his face on her neck. “Thank you…”

“No need to thank me. After all, I’m your big sis!” she exclaimed trying to cheer him up. But it didn’t really work when she felt Seifer’s tears on her skin.

“Thank you…”

“It’s gonna be alright Seifer…everything is gonna be alright.” She whispered caressing his hair. “I’m here.”

 

 

But they had been interrupted by a deferring noise coming from Clad’s bedroom. The two friends looked each other panicked. Geyser and Valentine went out of the room immediately, closing the door behind them.

“What’s going on??”

“Seifer…your son! He…he mutated! He just woke and he started to attack us!” explained Valentine, panicked.

“Oh no…” sighted Quistis.

Seifer began to move toward the door, but Valentine blocked his way. Quistis grabbed his arm to stop him.

“What are you doing?”

“I have to stop him.”

“He’s gonna kill you, Seifer. It’s too dangerous!” said Chad.

“If I can’t stop him, he’s gonna mutate again and again…”

“But…what are you going to do?”

“I’ll keep him busy. Try to find a way to cool him.” Told Seifer fixing Geyser.

“We will try to inject him a zleeping drug at a diztance but you have to keep hiz attention on you for thiz.”

“Understood.” Seifer entered and faced his son.

The boy mutated in sort of big red lion with a blond mane. He had some black marks on his tights. He kept his leather wristband that he received from Seifer when they were living at Winhill. The kid really liked the one Lulu made for Seifer’s birthday so he had made the same for him. The creature was roaring to Seifer, ready to attack him.

“Clad…calm down. I won’t hurt you.” Said Seifer softly, moving closer.

But the creature didn’t let him the time to approach that he ran toward him and began to attack him, trying to slash his father with his claws. Seifer managed to avoid some of his blows, but he had been scratched on the cheek. He ran away, at the opposite direction, but Clad blocked his way and attacked him again. He made him fall on the floor and was about to bite his throat deadly when Seifer mutated and took his g-force form to escape. This time, Seifer’s form was different than the last time he mutated. He didn’t open his large white and black wings. His body was less strong than usual. His flesh was covered by the white thin shell with the black marks. His hands still had long claws. His face was wearing the same white and black mask covering his whole head, but he had no nose anymore. His horns became larger and longer. His hair took it original blond color but wasn’t that long. It reached the middle of his back. His tail went back to the previous form, becoming thin and long again.

Clad reached Seifer’s side and continued to attack him. The tall blonde just avoided him. He wanted to tire Clad without hurting him. This way, it would be easier to neutralize him. But the kid was very lively and particularly strong.

_“Damn…at this rhythm, he’s gonna kill me_.” Thought Seifer trying to find a way to calm his son. Then, Clad disappeared. Seifer blinked, wondering where he went. He looked around him and opened his wings to fly in the air to search him, but Clad appeared behind him and scratched his wings with his claws.

“SEIFER! WATCH OUT!” shouted Quistis through the window.

Seifer fell on the floor, severely hurt. He rolled on his hip to avoid another fatal blow, but hadn’t been fast enough to escape completely from Clad. The lion jumped on him and roared at his face. But despite of the pain, Seifer didn’t run away and fixed his son in the eyes. The intense look disturbed the creature who began to feel strange. Seifer took his human form back, weakened by his wounds. Clad was feeling uncomfortable. It was as if he started to remind something. To erase this feeling, Clad scratched again Seifer’s face with his claws, making other scars on his cheek.

“Clad…you have to recover…” whispered the scarred blonde. To release himself, he hit Clad with his knee on the stomach. The creature moved away, a bit knocked by the pain but didn’t give up. Seifer got up but fell again on his knees. Actually, he was feeling pretty weak. Clad wasn’t a strong opponent but he refused to hurt him, so he didn’t really fight back. Besides, he wasn’t in his best state emotionally to fight with his whole strength. Clad lifted his head to fix his enemy but when he looked at him, he just saw a hurt human on his knees, with broken and bleeding wings. This scene seemed to recall something…

 

_“Okay guys! I think it’s enough for today. Why don’t we go back to home?” proposed Zell._

_“All right.” Agreed Seifer._

_They were on the road to return to their home when a ruby dragon appeared._

_“Whoa! What is he doing here?” yelled Zell._

_“Be careful!” warned Seifer. He threw him several blizzards but the creature was really powerful. “Lu! Summon me!”_

_“Yes!” replied the little girl._

_She crossed her hands and summoned Seifer. Since they were junctionned, the tall blonde wanted she used his power, been summoned. His appearance started to change in a giant creature. He didn’t change much since the last time they saw him fighting against Ultimecia. Clad was completely fascinated. It was the first time he saw Vivi this way. Zell was a bit scared but he trusted his lover.  The fight began between the two creatures. After few minutes, Seifer killed the dragoon but before dying the creature summoned a last magic spell. Seifer already took his human appearance again when he realized the creature threw a meteor spell on Clad and Zell._

_“Zell! Clad! Watch out!!”_

_Zell took Clad in his arms to protect him. The spell hit them but didn’t hurt them. When they opened their eyes, Seifer had deployed his large wings to protect them and had received the damages of the spell at their place. He raised his head to check if they weren’t injured and fell on the ground, on his knees._

_“Seifer!!! Are you alright?” asked Zell panicked._

_“It’s…okay…I shouldn’t…have taken my human form so fast…are you hurt?”_

_“No, we’re okay.” Zell helped him to sit. “Hyne! Your back and your wings are bleeding!”_

_“It’s nothing…”_

_Clad started to cry and jumped in Seifer’s arms. “Don’t die Vivi!!!!”_

_Seifer smiled and caressed his hair. “Easy…easy Clad! I’m not going to die. It’s okay…”_

_“But…”_

_“I’m gonna heal myself. I just need more time. I promise I won’t die. Don’t be scared…all right?”_

_“Let me cure you Vivi!” said Lulu, casting a curaga._

_“Thanks…”_

 

 

Remembering this time, Clad lost his balance. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t actually remember everything, but this scene made him understand he knew Seifer…

He didn’t notice that his father approached. “Clad…”

The lion, surprised, attacked his father again by reflex and bite his hip roughly. Seifer shouted, trying desperately to make him release his grip on him, but after few minutes, he began to feel weak and fell on his stomach. Clad moved closer, observing him at the agony, when he felt like a bite. He turned around and saw two men with a white lab coat with guns. He looked at his shoulder and saw two syringes.

“Do you think it’s enough?” asked Valentine to Geyser.

“I don’t know. Let’z get out of here before he killz uz.”

“But what about Seifer?”

The lion was on his way to attack the two scientists when Seifer grabbed him by the waist to restrain him. He looked at Valentine and Geyser. “GET OUT!”

The two men nodded and left the place. Clad struggled and pushed Seifer away, who crashed against the wall. The creature moved closer, ready to finish his prey off when he saw him smiling. Despite of what he did to him, the blonde was smiling gently to his son. This kindness, this smile…it disturbed Clad. It reminded him other memories he couldn’t understand. He already saw this smile, this expression on his face somewhere…he approached and approached again when he reached Seifer’s side. The man looked at him with sadness.

“I’m sorry, Clad…you shouldn’t have become like me…”

The lion became more and more disturbed. His head was full of pictures he couldn’t remember or understand. He shook his head vigoursly, trying to calm down, when he felt a hand caressing his forhead. Seifer moved closer and pressed his head against Clad’s one.

“I’m so sorry…I love you so much. Forgive me my angel…”

Seifer’s kindness seemed to disorient the creature. He didn’t know how to react because he had the impression to know this person…and a part of him didn’t want to hurt him. Then, another picture came to his mind.

 

_“Clad? What’s wrong?” asked Seifer approaching._

_Zell joined him. The kid sat and fixed his parents without saying a word. He was crying. Zell went closer._

_“What is it, Clad?” Asked the martial artist._

_“Nigh..nightmare…” murmured Clad._

_Seifer smiled and rubbed his back gently. He turned around to look at Zell. “It’s okay. I’m gonna stay with him. Go back to sleep.”_

_Zell understood Seifer was trying to get closer to Clad so he agreed and kissed his boy and lover before letting them alone._

_“Would you like to drink a hot chocolate with me?” proposed Seifer._

_The kid nodded. Seifer took the boy in his arms and left the room with him. He also took the blanket with him in the case of Clad would be cold. They went on the living room. Seifer prepared the hot chocolate and put a marshmallow inside before holding the cup to his son. The boy grabbed the cup and tasted the hot liquid. He played with the marshmallow with his finger, still keeping silent. Seifer enrolled his arm around his little shoulders._

_“Are you still afraid of me?”_

_The boy drank, making a pause before answering.”I’m not afraid…”_

_“But you’re not at ease with me, right?”_

_Clad kept quiet. Seifer stroked his hair gently. “I understand. I’m still a stranger for you.”_

_“No…”_

_“Hum?”_

_“You…You’re not a stranger.” He said holding his cup.”Lulu talked to me about you often…and Zelly was sad when you weren’t with us.”_

_“I know…”_

_“But he’s happy now, like Lulu…so I’m happy too.”_

_Seifer kissed his head. “Clad, I love you as I love Zelly and Lulu. I wish one day you’ll look at me the same way as them.”_

_“I’m…it’s just..there’s something in you, something different that I don’t feel with Zelly.”_

_Seifer understood it was probably related to the fact that they shared the same DNA and the same power because of Geyser’s experiences._

_“Don’t you feel it with Lulu too?”_

_“Yes…but it’s different with you. I’m…not scared but…it’s strange…”_

_“I know Clad. I feel the same…” he didn’t want to explain to him why he had these kind of feelings. He was too young to understand anyway. “But I’ll be there for you whenever you’ll need me. I’ll protect you.”_

_The child hugged the tall blonde in his arms. “Thanks Vivi…”_

 

Clad stopped fighting back against his own feelings and recovered his human form immediately. He collapsed in Seifer’s arms, unconscious. The sleeping drug was probably working on him. Seifer sighted with relief when he saw his kid went back to his human form. It took him less time than him but it didn’t mean he knew how to transform again and if he could use his new powers. Seifer held his son his arms to warm him up. When he mutated, the kid ripped his clothes and was now naked. Quistis, Valentine, Geyser and Laguna finally entered in the room.

“Seifer? Are you ok?”

“Yes…” but he was bleeding everywhere. Clad didn’t go easy on him. But the most import thing for the tall blonde was to see his child safe.

“We’re going to bring him in another room to let him rest. We’ll take the opportunity he’s asleep to make other tests and analysis. But you should go to the infirmary, Seifer…” said Valentine.

“Ok. Take care of him.”

“Sure.”

Seifer kissed his child’s forehead a last time before giving him to Chad. He knew he could count on him. Quistis approached and helped him to rise on his feet with Laguna. They brought him to the infirmary.

 

 

He stayed there during the rest of the day. Quistis visited him. She let him rest to join Laguna who was talking with Geyser and another doctor.

“What does it mean?” demanded Laguna.

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“But usually, he recovers alone and…”

Quistis interrupted them. “What’s wrong?”

“Honey. How is Seifer?” Laguna asked turning around to face her.

“He’s sleeping. What were you talking about?”

Her husband scratched his hair nervously. “The Doc and Geyser observed something different with Seifer today…”

“What?”

“He’s…well, it seems that he doesn’t heal himself anymore…”

“I don’t get it…”

Geyser gave her other explanations. “When Zeifer iz hurt, he uzually curez himzelf with hiz cellz, zo hiz injuriez dizappear quickly. But thiz time, it didn’t happen. On the contrary, hiz woundz didn’t heal, az if he lozt hiz abilitiez…”

“Wait…you mean, Seifer is losing his powers?”

“It’s too early to say it. We saw him fighting Clad and he definitely didn’t put his strength into this fight, so he didn’t use his entire strength and let Clad hurt him to give us the time to neutralize him. But he should be able to cure himself alone now…it’s as if something was restraining him.” Told the other man.

“Did you make analysis?”

“Yez. We’re waiting for the rezult.”

Quistis became worried. “If Seifer loses his powers, does it mean he can become normal again?”

“We need more time to say it, Quis. We have to wait.” Concluded Laguna.


	16. An incomplete happiness

 “Seifer?”

The tall blonde opened slowly his eyes. He recognized the place where he was immediately, but didn’t waste more time to ask about his son.

“Clad! Where is…”

Quistis held him back gently and pushed him to make him lie down again, on his bed. “He’s safe, don’t worry for him. We brought him to the room next to yours.”

“Did he keep his human form?”

“Yes. Looks like he can’t mutate again as easily as you can do.”

“Thank God…” sighed Seifer relieved. “How are Zell and Lulu?”

“Nothing to report.”

“Ok…thanks for being here, Quis.”

“You know I would never let you.” She caressed his hair tenderly. “Tell me. How are you feeling? You lost a lot of blood and Clad hurt you pretty bad…”

“As long as he is fine, I don’t care.”

“But…don’t you feel different?”

“To be honest, I even don’t think about it. I’m too stressed for Clad to wonder how I am feeling.” He moved to get up but Quistis tried to stop him.

“Where do you think you’re going like that?”

“I must see Clad.”

“You will see him later. I promise he’s fine. You’re not in condition to get up. You need to rest.”

“I can’t. I need to see him.”

“Seifer, please…”

“If you’re too worried, come with me, but there’s no way I would stay here without checking his condition by myself.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re stubborn.”

“I know.”

“Ok. Let me help you but don’t force yourself and walk slowly.”

Seifer laughed. “Come on, Quis! I’m not made of glass, you know?”

But when he started to walk, he fell on his knees. Fortunately, Quistis was there to support him, preventing his fall.

“Wh..What’s wrong with me?”

“I told you that you were still too weak to walk but you don’t listen.”

“But…usually I can heal myself quickly. What’s going on?”

 

Geyser and Valentine just arrived at this time.

“Seifer. You must stay on your bed.” Said Valentine, helping Quistis to make him stay on his feet.

“Why do I feel so weak?”

Geyser approached. “Zeifer? Can you tranzform?”

“I don’t think so…I’m too weak for this.”

“Can you try pleaze?”

Quistis fixed him with anger. “Can’t you see he’s not in condition to do that?”

“I know what I’m doing, Mizz. Pleaze, Zeifer. Try it.”

Seifer hesitated few minutes before finally accepting. He tried to concentrate, closing his eyes, and managed to transform a part of his face, but he renounced quickly when he felt he had no strength anymore.

“Easy…” Quistis put her hand on his chest to make him relax. “Breathe slowly.”

“I..I ca..n’t. I can’t do..this..” said Seifer between heavy breaths. “Why?”

“You probably pushed yourself too much against your son…You need to rest now.” Replied Valentine.

The tall blonde nodded and accepted reluctantly to lie down again on his back.

“We will zee you later, Zeifer.”

 

Geyser left with Valentine. They stopped in the corridor.

“What do you think about this?” asked Chad.

“I’m not zure yet…but I don’t think he’z lozing hiz powerz…it lookz more complex…”

“So, what are we gonna do?”

“Nothing for now. Let’z wait.”

 

 

Quistis stayed at Seifer’s side until he fell asleep again. She left his room and was about to visit Zell, when she saw Laguna.

“Honey?”

“Oh, Laguna…what is it?”

“Auron misses his mother. He didn’t stop calling you.”

“I’m gonna see him right now.”

“He’s sleeping. He was tired to wait for you, so I brought him back to his bedroom.”

Quistis noticed Laguna seemed to be exasperated. “If you have something to tell me, don’t use Auron and say it.”

“I’m not using our son. I just say the truth.”

“And what the truth is? Are saying that I neglect my son? That I’m a bad mother?”

“No. I just said that you pass more time with Seifer than with your own family.”

“Seifer needs our support and…”

“We also need you, as a wife and as a mother!”

“Laguna, don’t be so insensitive! Don’t you see how much Seifer is suffering right now?”

“Maybe but he’s not that innocent.”

Quistis looked angry after his words. She wanted to reply but she changed her mind. She walked away, ignoring Laguna.

“Quistis.”

 “You’re disappointing me Laguna.”

“Why? Because I want to keep my wife away from a criminal?”

She turned around and faced her husband with rudeness.”If someone had touched Auron or you, I would have done even worse than what Seifer did. I’m sorry for the kids and the wife, but when I think about them, this is Zell, Lulu and Clad’s face that I see.”

Laguna seemed to regret his words.

“What do you think I felt when I saw my childhood friend and his kids covered of blood, disfigured by the bullets, murdered savagely in their own home?”

“.....”

“If the monster who did that had been in front of me, I would have killed him without mercy, and I was just Zell’s friend. They were Seifer’s family. Compared to him, my pain is insignificant and you dare calling him criminal?”

“I know the same way as you do what Seifer can endure now. He’s so young and he already had to see his parents, his husband and his kids dying in front of him…but he became as bad as the murderer of his family. I know he’s your friend, but I don’t want to see something happens to you.”

“I’m not in danger.”

“You can’t predict Seifer’s attitude. If his power depends of his emotions, he could lose control again and…”

  “I trust Seifer and I know he would never hurt me.”

“It’s not a question of trust.”

Quistis seemed to be exhausted to justify so she tried a last card.” If it had been Kiros or Ward, would you have turned your back on them?”

“.....” This time, it was Laguna’s turn to have no word.

“Then, I don’t ask you to approve it but just to accept it. I won’t give up on Seifer or on Zell. Humans or creatures, monsters or heroes, they are and will be my friends forever.”

She concluded with these words and left her husband alone.

* * *

 

_“Mody?”_

_“Yes sweetie?”_

_“Why do we hide? I mean, we’ve done nothing wrong…”_

_“I know, Lulu, but it’s better this way.”_

_“So…people would be nasty with us if they knew?”_

_“People don’t like difference. But the danger is that people love power…”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because power gives them the impression to be invincible or to be important. It corrupts their mind.”_

_“But…if Popy doesn’t wake up, what would we become?”_

_“I’ll be there to protect you, my angel. As long as you are with me, I’ll be there.”_

_“But…but..i don’t want Popy dies…”_

_“If it’s Hyne’s will, we can’t help it, Lulu. Let’s pray for Popy.”_

_“Mody?”_

_“Yes, Lulu?”_

_“You know…the last day, Popy told me something strange…”_

_“Ah?”_

_“Yes. He said that one day, I would meet an important person…and this person would change my life and would protect me forever…”_

_“Popy is never wrong so it can’t be different. But why do you think about this?”_

_“How will I recognize this person? Popy didn’t tell me if this person is a girl or man and when we would meet…”_

_“You will know when this time would come. I wonder the same thing, sweetie…”_

_“But can’t this person also protect you and Popy? If people know what we…”_

_“Nobody knows. That’s why we moved to Winhill. People are nice here and they don’t like fighting so as long as we keep it secret, nobody will attack us. And for this special person, I can’t tell you. We all have different fates. Popy knows his future, but we don’t know ours.”_

_“Popy knows his future?”_

_“Yes, sweetie.”_

_“So…Popy is gonna die?”_

_“.....”_

_“Mody! Tell me! Tell me Popy won’t gonna die! Please!’_

_“Lulu, the death is something natural. Everyone dies one day…”_

_“But not now! Please!! Popy…can’t leave us…no, no!! I don’t wanna!”_

_“Lulu…”_

_“No! Not Popy! He won’t die! He will live forever as you!! He will never die!!”_

_“My angel, I know you’re scared. Sometimes, life is cruel and painful. But you will know happy moments in your life. We have been happy with Popy during a long time…”_

_“But I want things stay like this forever…I love Popy…”_

_“I love him too. But even if we love him, there’s nothing we can’t do against Hyne’s will.”_

_“But Hyne is good. Why does he make us cry?”_

_“No one can explain Hyne’s will. We just have to accept it.”_

_“No!”_

_“Sweetie, please…”_

_“I don’t wanna! Popy won’t die! I’ll pray for him to make Hyne changes his mind!”_

 

 

Lulu opened her eyes and looked around her. She felt different…actually, she was different. When she looked her hands, her skin was pale and almost green. She didn’t seem to recognize the place where she was but she didn’t panic. She moved slowly to sit and took the time to collect her memories. She removed the perfusion in her arm and got up. She walked carefully and noticed her body seemed to be lighter. There was another door in the bedroom, so she thought it was the bathroom. She reached it and came in, looking for a mirror. She faced her own reflection and took several minutes to recognize her own face.

 

* * *

 

During this time, Seifer was still in his bedroom. He was exhausted and had no strength. The efforts he made, his injuries and the stress really affected him. He was struggling in his sleep. Since the day he saw Zell, Lulu and Clad’s bodies at Winhill, he was haunted by terrible nightmares. He couldn’t sleep normally and was reliving the same scene every night.

Something soft touched his forehead and few seconds after that, he felt better. He was still weak but he found some strength again. But when he opened his eyes, he didn’t see a familiar face. There was nobody in the room. He recognized this aura…

“Lulu??”

He jumped from his bed and ran in the corridor to look for his daughter but found no one. He returned to her bedroom to be sure that she was still there, but when he opened the door, the room was empty. He went to her bed and sat to concentrate.

“Lulu?”

No answer. He tried again.

“Lulu, I know you can hear me. Where are you?”

“………”

“Is that you who cured me?”

“………”

“Of course it was you. I would recognize you between thousand.”

“………”

“Sweetie, talk to me. How are you feeling? When did you wake up?”

“………”

“Where are you? I want to see you. Come back.”

But Lulu stayed desperately quiet. Seifer felt bad and hurt.

“Are you mad at me? I understand. After all, everything happened because of me. I was supposed to protect you with Clad and Zell. But I wasn’t there. I know you hate me and I don’t blame you for this.”

_“I don’t hate you, Vivi. I would never hate you._ ”

“Lulu? “

_“Don’t say that again please. Vivi didn’t do anything wrong and it’s thanks to you that I’m still alive.”_

“Sweetie, you’re so nice. But please, come to me. I wanna see you.”

_“I can’t.”_

“Why?”

_“Because…I’m ugly.”_

“Did you mutate?”

_“Yes…I don’t want you see me like this…”_

“Show me. Come to me.”

_“No.”_

“Lulu, please. Do you really think that you can be uglier than me?”

_“Vivi is not ugly.”_

“You saw how I am when I use my other form. Show me.”

 

After a long silence, Lulu finally appeared. The kid was taller and thinner but kept a feminine figure. A light veil was covering her nudity. Her skin was pale and greenish. Some tree roots were enrolled around her thin legs and almost covered her feet. She had long green hair, reaching her tights. Some white flowers seemed to grow in her hair. She kept the same face, with her blue eyes.

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re lying…”

Seifer grabbed her hand and put it on his heart. “I can’t lie to you. You should know it since that time…”

“Yes…”

“My Lulu…” He didn’t resist hugging her tightly in his arms and she was more than happy for this. “I was so worried for you…I thought I would never see you again…”

“Vivi…”

“It will never happen again. I will never let your side again, my angel. This time, I will protect you and…”

Lulu reassured Seifer smiling at him. “But Vivi has always been there to protect me.”

“No…I wasn’t at home when…”

“But thanks to you, we’re still alive.”

“Not yet for your father and I’m not even sure he would wake up one day…”

“You must believe in him.”

“I would do anything to go back in the past…to change things and for this event never happens.”

“But you would have been hurt at our place, so it wouldn’t have changed anything. We would have been sad for you, the same way you are for us…”

“It would have been better for everyone.”

“No. Vivi is wrong. We are equal so our pain is equal. If Vivi suffers, we suffer too. If Vivi is happy, we are happy too.”

Seifer smiled with a strange expression, mixing sadness and happiness. “I love you, my Lulu. I love you so much I could die for you…”

They hugged each other tightly again. The bond they shared was unbreakable.

“Did you try to take your human form back?”

“I’ve tried…but I don’t know how to do it.”

“I will teach you. Did you notice a difference in your power?”

“I still can read thoughts…and looks like I know how to cure people without magic spells…”

“Yeah I felt it. You’re incredible, as always.”

“It’s because Vivi is there for me.”

Seifer couldn’t help to laugh. “Is there nothing to make you hate me?”

 “No. I don’t want to stop loving you and if I do that, you would be very unhappy. Vivi, Zelly and Clad are my family and I love them very much the same way they love me. “

“How could I not love you? It’s impossible…”

“I know how far Vivi is ready to go for me, Zelly and Clad…”

“……” Seifer felt the shame and the guilt coming. He remembered what he did to avenge his family and couldn’t support to see that Lulu could know it.

“Don’t be ashamed.”

“I can’t lie to you, so you know what I did, right?”

“Yes. But don’t be ashamed.”

“I’ve done something horrible, Lulu.”

“Your anger made you do something horrible but you’re not a bad person.”

“I’m not a good man either.”

“You let your heart speaking…and you were so sad that you couldn’t have done anything else. I don’t want Vivi’s apologizes.”

“I know. I don’t deserve you.”

“It’s not what I mean. I don’t want your apologizes because there’s nothing to forgive.”

“I have a lot to be sorry for…but it doesn’t matter now. Don’t be scared. I’ll help you to find your human form again and to control your power.”

“Thank you Vivi.”

“I’m so relieved you’re back my angel. I’m so happy…”

“I know. Me too, Vivi.”

The father and his daughter stayed all the night together. They slept in the same bed, holding each other. It recalled them good old times, when they were living at Winhill. At this time, Zell wand Clad weren’t there. They protected each other: Seifer protected Lulu against physical danger as monsters, and Lulu protected Seifer against himself, the madness and the despair. With some luck, it would be just a question of time before the whole family would be reunited...


End file.
